


Promises Broken

by GleekMom



Category: Glee
Genre: Foster Care, child abuse and neglect
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-06
Updated: 2015-08-13
Packaged: 2018-04-03 02:14:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 86,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4082788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GleekMom/pseuds/GleekMom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blaine is removed from his home after serious allegations of abuse are reported to Child Protective Services.  How will Blaine survive life in foster care and a group home?  But more importantly, will Kurt and his friends at McKinley continue to embrace him or will he lose everything forever?  (Glee Angst Meme Fill)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Promises Broken

**Author's Note:**

> Here is the prompt from the Glee Angst Meme:
> 
> "I'd like to see a fic that explored a slightly more realistic scenario, where Blaine is removed from his parents' home by CPS after serious abuse, and put into the foster system. I'd like Blaine to still be able to remain at McKinley, except now he is having to adjust to life living in a group foster home. What is the reality of it for him? How does New Directions take it? Does anyone treat him differently?"
> 
> I couldn't trust this in the hands of anyone else, so had to do it myself. Call me a control freak. This is taking place summer between S2 and S3, same timing as Hold On. Only difference is that they are both going into their Junior Year. Remember this is the angst meme, so expect lots of angst. But angst does NOT need to stem from a breakup. There is so much more wrong with the world, sometimes love is the only source of goodness.

He hadn't meant for anyone to ever find out, but there were some secrets that were impossible to keep forever. He had tried though. He'd done everything.

He had hidden the bruises, day after day. He had muffled his screams, night after night. He had lied over and over again about the marks on his skin, his mother's black eyes. Every time the police came to his house, he assured them that he'd never seen his parents drink, he'd never seen them do drugs. When he got older he swore the marijuana they found hidden in the coffee table drawer was his, and he'd taken the six month probation period all with his mouth silent. His father rewarded him for that. Six months was long enough for the bruises to heal.

He had thought then that maybe it was safe to come out of the closet. Telling his parents was the hardest thing he had ever done. It hadn't occurred to him that things could get worse than they already were. But the Sadie Hawkins dance proved otherwise. His father had forbidden him to go, but he went anyway. When his mother took him to the hospital that evening after the dance, he told the stories of the bullies that had attacked him. He said that three boys had harassed him at the dance, approached him afterwards and then he had the living crap beaten out of him. He never said they'd done it, but he let everyone assume that. He'd been lying for so long that the the lies flowed out of him like air. It took only moments before that lie became his truth.

But his father knew then that the truth was too close to coming out, so he was sent to Dalton and told to keep his mouth shut. Blaine Anderson didn't really need to be told though. He had no plans to ever tell. Getting close to other kids was something he tried not to do anymore. He kept his distance, always putting on the smile that told those around him that he was absolutely fine. It helped that he was free at school. He could lose himself in the safety of Dalton, the music of the Warblers. Nothing could hurt him inside those protected walls, not even his father. And his father knew that the walls protected him as well. He'd gone to Dalton himself. He had been a beloved student and now he was a prized benefactor. Even if his secrets came out, no one would believe Blaine and no one would ever tell.

But neither Blaine nor his father had taken Kurt Hummel into consideration.

* * *

Things weren't always bad at home. Blaine's father loved him and his mother and when he was clean and sober, he could be caring and fun and he enjoyed spending time with his son. Blaine soaked up those moments, even if it meant rebuilding a car because his father thought it might make him straight. Blaine laughed, thinking of that long week, as he sat on a bench in the Hummel garage watching Kurt and Burt work on a late model ford Taurus. If his father could see Kurt Hummel, his hands deep in the belly of the engine, he would know exactly how ridiculous his plan truly had been.

"What are you laughing at over there mister?" Kurt arched a brow in his direction as he smirked. "You either come over here and get your hands dirty or I'm going to go over there and…"

"Kurt!" Burt eyed him sternly and Kurt flushed bashfully at his father. Burt shook his head and nudged Kurt's shoulder playfully. Kurt smiled at his Dad and winked at Blaine before the two of them disappeared underneath the car.

That's what Blaine wanted, all the time. He was tired of the snippets of what could be good. He was tired of the not knowing which father he was coming home to each summer day after time spent with Kurt or performing at the theme park. He was tired of not being able to share his whole life and his whole self with Kurt because he had secrets to hide behind his walls and beneath his clothes.

It wasn't that Kurt didn't notice, because he was extremely observant. Kurt noticed every wince, every hesitation, and every evasion especially when he asked to go to the Anderson home. But he believed Blaine's lies because he believed in Blaine and he trusted his boyfriend to tell him if something was wrong. After all, Blaine had promised. But Kurt didn't know the promises Blaine had made to his parents as well.

But one summer evening when Kurt held him too close and Blaine clenched his fists and squeezed his eyes and screamed in pain, Kurt didn't believe the lies anymore.

"I just hurt myself at the theme park, Kurt, it's no big deal. Fell on a dance move." Blaine's eyes were pleading, the amber darkened and dull and scared. Blaine was scared of Kurt and he had never been before.

"Take off your shirt," Kurt whispered, starting to unbutton the linen, but Blaine stopped Kurt's slender fingers, grasping them tightly as he begged, looking anywhere but Kurt's haunted blue eyes.

"Kurt please…don't."

"Blaine, you're scaring me," Kurt cried as he tried to catch his breath and he could see Blaine's chest rising and falling rapidly as well. Kurt's heart raced with the quickened pulse he felt beneath his fingers, but Blaine said nothing. "Take off your shirt," Kurt ordered this time, not taking no for an answer.

Blaine cried silently as he took his hands off of Kurt's, hands he trusted but were about to betray everything. As Kurt stripped the cloth off of Blaine's skin, he sucked in a breath at what he saw. Old bruises, new bruises, cuts and welts that had healed and ones that were fresh. Kurt swore under his breath as he reached for Blaine's face, trying to wipe the tears away. But at the touch of his hand, Blaine's senses returned and he grabbed his shirt, flinging his arms through the sleeves and over the tell-tale signs of his father's abuse on his back. He heard Kurt calling behind him as he ran out of the house, and he saw Kurt at the front door while the screech of his tires filled the air as he fled from the truth.

His secret was out. All promises were broken.

* * *

It was two days later when the social workers knocked on the door to the Anderson Estate. His mother answered and let them in, putting on the brave face that was so well practiced. She knew exactly what to say to make them go away. Things were fine. No, her husband never hit her or Blaine. When their son did something wrong he'd be grounded or have his cell phone taken away. Blaine worked as a performer at the theme park and sometimes he got hurt there. Yes, she took him to the doctor and he was up to date on all his physicals. He went to Dalton Academy, boarded there during the week and came home on weekends. He got straight A's and was the lead singer of their show choir. Of course they could talk to his teachers, they had nothing to hide.

Blaine sat at the top of the stairs listening, escaping to his room before they came up, quietly closing the door behind him. He sat on his bed, knees pulled to his chest. His arms rested on top of them, phone in hand as he texted.

**The social workers are here Kurt.**

_**Tell them the truth, Blaine, please.** _

There was a knock on the door, but they didn't wait for him to answer before a petite redhead and a taller skinny brunette opened the door. He glanced up at the women only quickly, before returning his gaze to his phone. Though they appeared to be kind, he knew their job wasn't kindness. They were here to take him away.

The taller social worker took a seat at his computer desk, the other bent down next to his bed as she spoke to them. "Hi Blaine. My name is Sonja and this is Mary. We're social workers from OFC. Do you know why we're here?"

He nodded as he kept his eyes trained on the screen in front of him. His lifeline. He was alone in the room, but Kurt was with him in his phone and he ignored the social workers to keep typing.

**What will you do if I don't tell them, Kurt? Keep calling?**

_**I'll call every day, Blaine, until he doesn't hurt you anymore.** _

"Can you tell me why you think we're here?" he heard the woman named Mary ask.

"Because you think my father hurts me," he said softly, never taking his eyes off the phone.

**Why would you do this to me, Kurt?**

_**I love you.** _

**I hate you.**

_**Don't say that. You don't mean that.** _

"Can you tell me what safe means to you Blaine?" the redhead Sonja asked.

**And what if I do?**

_**I love you even if you hate me.** _

Kurt's face swam before his eyes. Dalton. The Hudmel house. Hummel Tire and Lube. Those were safe people, safe places. "Safe is where you know that someone is always there for you. You're not scared because you know what to expect." He spoke dreamily, lost in Kurt's words and in the places in his life where he felt safe. "People love you. All the time. No matter what you say or do. No matter who you are. It doesn't change minute by minute. You're loved. You're not alone."

Sonja's eyes were soft as they met his, they were caring, not angry. Her voice mirrored her gaze. "Are you safe at home Blaine?"

He looked away. They gave him the time he needed.

**They will take everything from me Kurt. They will take you from me.**

_**They can't do that Blaine, nothing will take you away from me.** _

Blaine looked at the social workers. They wanted the truth, Kurt wanted him to tell the truth, but as his heart pounded in his chest, he pictured his mother pacing downstairs, his father's anger when he got home. He pictured his future, sent away to live god knows where, with who knows who, never to see Kurt again. He couldn't do it.

_**Wherever you go Blaine, I'm right beside you.** _

**And what if you're wrong Kurt?**

_**But what if I'm right? And you can be safe?** _

**Kurt, I'm scared.**

_**Courage** _

He felt a soft hand on his, and he didn't flinch. He watched as Sonja ever so gently took the phone from his hands and placed it face down next to him. His eyes were clouded over, his face broken and dejected. His vision swam and he thought he might throw up.

"Are you safe at home, Blaine?" she asked again, even more gently.

Blaine closed his eyes and swallowed his fear. He brought Kurt to mind, and shook his head. "No."


	2. Until Tomorrow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My wonderful beta for this story, MuseInMe3, would like me to give you all a Kleenex warning for this chapter. So you are hereby warned.

The social workers kept talking to him and gradually he told them both the truth. His father abused him. His mother never protected him. They called his mother upstairs before they asked him to remove his shirt and they took pictures of his injuries. Mary stepped out of the room to call the office as Sonja asked him to pack a bag. Blaine's mom fell apart then, and he took her in his arms and whispered in his ear. It would be alright. He would be alright. She had to be strong. Get safe herself, so that they could be together again soon.

Blaine packed some things in two duffle bags. Clothes, mementos, his things for work, his Dalton blazer. He knew he wasn't going back to the private school, but he wouldn't let it go. Once a Warbler, always a Warbler. He grabbed his things from the bathroom as his mother stared after him, lost now in her own world, as she so often was when things got bad at home. He himself moved like he was in a trance. Nothing seemed real. His eyes swept his room and it was both hard to leave anything behind and hard to think anything was worth taking at this point. He made sure to slip his phone back into his pocket. As long as he had his phone he'd be okay.

He allowed himself to be ushered to the car, and buckled himself into the backseat. He didn't know where they were going. They said something about a hospital, but his ears were ringing and he couldn't see straight. He watched everything familiar disappear behind him and when they hit the highway, he knew they were headed out of Westerville and toward Columbus. Further away from Kurt, but it was okay, because Kurt was still at his fingertips.

**They're taking me to Columbus to the hospital.**

_**They probably want to make sure that you're okay.** _

**I don't hate you, Kurt, I love you.**

_**I know, Blaine, I love you too.** _

They were at the hospital for two hours. They checked his wounds, taking pictures of his old ones and his new ones, as well as copying the records from the Sadie Hawkins dance. He told them the truth of that attack as well. It was true that he'd been bullied at the dance, and three guys had pushed him and his date around. But his father had done the real damage that had sent him to the hospital when he'd come home. Blaine had lied to Kurt about it, that day at Breadstix. Someday soon he hoped to tell Kurt the truth.

When they were finally done, they drove to the Franklin County Children's Services Office in Columbus and asked him to hang out in the lobby. They asked if he wanted a book or a movie, but he didn't want either, he just wanted to be left alone. They questioned if he had any relatives or friends that he thought might be able to take him in, but he shook his head. He couldn't think right now. Nothing made any sense. The only person he wanted was Kurt. They told him to ask the receptionist to page one of them if he needed anything, they were going to work on finding him a place to stay for the night, and they disappeared behind the locked doors, leaving him in the lobby alone.

He sighed and looked at the walls. There were flyers for different programs, WIC, counseling, GED classes. None of that would help him now, he thought, and he slumped in his chair, his bags beneath him, more alone and exposed than he had ever been in his life. He shouldn't have told. Now his mother was alone and in danger, his father was going to be furious with both of them when he found out, and he had no idea when he would see any of them again. He took out his phone and pretended everything was normal while inside his world was falling apart and there was a giant emptiness in the pit of his stomach that nothing would ever fill again.

* * *

He texted Kurt for hours slumped in the uncomfortable chair watching people parade in and out of the office. He watched with a sense of foreboding as families came in to visit with their kids in foster care. He wondered when that would be him, and what a visit with his father would be like. He wondered if he'd be able to see Kurt again. He thought a lot about Kurt and school and the fact that he had work tomorrow morning and he didn't have his car. He wondered where he was going to sleep, who else was going to live there. He just wanted to go home again. His father was never predictable but the rest of his world was and only four hours after leaving he felt he didn't know anything that was happening and he may never be in control of anything in his life again.

Kurt reassured him of everything, but it was impossible to believe. Kurt was safe in Lima with his father and his family and his friends. Blaine was alone in an office with no one talking to him, and with no idea where he would spend the night or where he would be tomorrow.

Finally Mary came back into the lobby and sat next to him. "We have a place for you to spend the weekend while we look for a longer term placement for you to stay."

Suddenly, he sat up, his mind swimming with a million questions and he didn't know what to ask first. "Where is it?"

"It's in Columbus," she explained. "Not too far from here."

"I have work in the morning," he declared emphatically.

She looked at him apologetically, but he took it only as condescending. "I'm not sure you're going to be able to make it tomorrow. Where is it?"

He tried to rein it in, but this was too much. He had already lost everything, he wouldn't lose his job as well. People were counting on him. He wasn't a cashier at some stupid fast food restaurant; he was a performer in a well-oiled machine without understudies. If he didn't show, not only would they be scrambling, but his reputation in the community would be ruined, and reputation was everything to a performer. "I'm not missing work tomorrow!" he screamed, jumping out of his seat.

But she didn't understand, and of course she didn't, because she hadn't tried to get to know him well enough at all to figure out what mattered and what didn't. "Try to settle down Blaine, we'll do the best we can, but tomorrow may just not be possible. The foster mother works, and it's Saturday, so I won't be able to drive you either."

"Kurt will take me," he barked decidedly, pacing back and forth. "I'll call him and he can come pick me up and he can take me."

"Who's Kurt?" she asked softly, trying to calm him down.

His eyes flashed with fear and he bit his lip. He didn't know this woman, or this agency. He didn't know if they were homophobic like the teachers and staff at his old school, or if they would accept him like the adults at Dalton. He didn't know if having a boyfriend, or a girlfriend for that matter, was even allowed. But most of all, giving up the truth about Kurt was possibly the most vulnerable thing he could do. If they didn't know about him then they couldn't take him away. "He's nothing," he snapped. "No one. Just a friend with a car, that's all."

"Blaine," she cautioned, but he was in absolutely no mood now for her niceties. "You are in the custody of the state now. That means there are a lot more rules and one of them is that you can't just have anyone drive you places. Everyone needs to be checked out first."

"Fuck your rules," he said under his breath as he got out his phone to text Kurt. Kurt would pick him up, rules or not. He needed to see him, he needed to feel Kurt's arms around him.

"There's one more rule, Blaine, at least for this foster home," she continued carefully, but he wasn't listening.

**I need a ride to work tomorrow. Can you do it, please? I need to see you. I'm going somewhere in Columbus, I'll give you the address when I get there.**

"Blaine, I need you to listen to me," she said more emphatically and he glared up at her, his eyes angry and scared. "You can't have your cell phone at the foster home. I'll hold it here, and we'll talk about when you can get it back depending on where you're going on Monday."

As if teasing him, the phone vibrated in his hand with Kurt's text message and he nearly threw it to the ground in fury. "No," he refused, his amber eyes blazing with flames. His voice was quiet but hard, and he spoke slowly to the social worker. "There is absolutely no fucking way I am giving you my phone." His heart sped up and with it his words started to race along across his tongue, anger giving way to the most intense fear he'd ever felt. Standing before his father was nothing compared to handing over his only link to the love of his life, his angel. He was panicking, he knew it, and he wanted to punch the wall or run away and he paced the room trying to keep himself under control. Every word he'd ever texted Kurt was in that phone, starting from _Courage_. There were reminders of every date, every midnight conversation, every beautiful thing that Kurt had ever said to him. Anytime he needed to feel good and safe he turned to that phone and without it there was absolutely no safety left in the world. Those words were for him and no one else, but he wasn't naïve enough to believe that the social works wouldn't scroll through every line and completely betray his privacy. Even if he took the battery with him, they'd just find another. Handing over the phone would be going from bad to hell.

"Blaine, I know it's hard," he heard her say through the ringing in his ears and the voices in his head, and he tried to concentrate but he couldn't. "I'll be back in about five minutes and at that point, I'll need to take your phone into the back and put it in my desk."

He didn't answer. He dashed to the bathroom in the lobby, locked the door and fell to the floor tears streaming down his face. He'd broken his promises to everyone and this was his punishment, losing them all. The phone buzzed again and reminded him of the text waiting for him. He looked at it through his tears.

_**Whatever you need, Love, just tell me when you get there.** _

_**Blaine, are you okay?** _

Blaine knew what he had to do. He texted Kurt to meet him at 7am at the Starbucks in downtown Columbus that they'd been to a few times on the way to the theme park before. He told Kurt that he wasn't allowed to have his phone so he wouldn't be able to get in contact with him tonight, but he'd meet him in the morning. He told Kurt that he loved him, that he'd always love him, and that he needed Kurt now more than ever. He waited for the response.

_**I love you more than anything, Blaine. Until tomorrow. Xoxox.** _

As soon as Blaine received the last message from Kurt, he closed his eyes and blinked back the tears again. He kissed the phone, then scrolled back to the front page of his text messages. They could have him, but they couldn't have this; his memories, his hopes and dreams, the private moments and so many secrets and firsts between him and Kurt. He pressed his finger on Kurt's name, took a deep breath, and deleted the thread. Every word to and from Kurt was gone.

Now he had lost everything.

* * *

The car ride to the foster home was silent, at least on Blaine's end. Mary kept trying to get him to talk, but he was done talking. She didn't need to know anything more about him. He had very little left to give.

When they pulled into a small cape house, he wondered how many kids they could possibly fit in it. He suddenly wondered who else would be there, would they be all boys or all girls. He'd never let them know he's gay, he was sure that would just lead to horrible trouble that he didn't even want to contemplate. Besides he'd already resolved that he wasn't staying.

He was brought inside and introduced to the foster mother. She appeared to be in her late 40's, about his height and round. She hardly looked up at him as she made dinner in the kitchen. She barely smiled when she said, "Hello Blaine." He didn't bother to smile back. She gestured toward another teenage boy, with brown hair swept in every direction and a scowl on his face. "This is Michael. He'll show you where to bring your bags and where you'll be sleeping."

Blaine felt as if he was in a fog as he followed Michael down a flight of stairs into the finished basement. There were two rooms, one a small living room with a video game console set up on a small flat screen TV. The other room had two bunk beds, the top on the left appeared unused. "That's your bunk," Michael told him dully, as he flopped on his own, the bottom on the right. "You're only staying the weekend, so I wouldn't bother getting too settled in or unpacked or anything. Kathy's not taking more than two kids for the week, and that's me and Steven. Ralphie and you are here for the weekend, but you guys go first thing Monday morning."

Blaine was thinking that would be a good thing if he were planning on even staying that long, but he had no intention of even staying the night. Not being expected to unpack or settle in would help him pull it off. "So is there anything to do around here?" Blaine asked nonchalantly.

"They'll be a list of chores for the weekend. I think you have the trash and maybe mowing the lawn. You know how to do that?" Blaine nodded, before stashing his things carefully by the door to the room then heading back upstairs.

Mary turned to him and sat him down. "Blaine, there's no way to get you to work tomorrow, do you know the number to call in?"

"Yeah," Blaine murmured. "I'll call them in the morning." Then he thought of something and suddenly his head sprung up, his eyes bright. "Can I call my Mom?"

Mary's eyes grew sad and he knew instantly the answer was no. "Your mom went into a domestic violence shelter today. Which is a really good thing for her to have done. But it means you can't call her right now. We'll talk more on Monday about visits and contact, but I promise that you will be able to see them soon."

Blaine just nodded. It didn't matter. He'd be out of here by then. He had no idea what he was going to do or where he was going to go, but nothing he'd seen so far had made him even want to give this place a possible chance. Mary told him she'd pick him up on Monday morning and he mumbled an acknowledgement.

Dinner was quiet, the kids at the table eating before the foster mother and father, and then they were sent downstairs to their room until bedtime at 9pm. Blaine had to stop himself at least ten times from reaching into his pocket for his phone to text Kurt about how completely lame things were. The only thing that got him through was that he knew in 12 hours, he'd be in Kurt's arms.

He played video games with the guys, allowing himself to get lost in the fantasy world and even crack a smile. He missed the Warblers then, especially Nick, though it would be a pretty interesting tournament, these kids against them. Blaine had to admit that three out of the four kids who lived here weren't bad, but Steven seemed to be a real ass and it was only a matter of time before Blaine's temper would get the better of him. And he had no idea what getting in trouble meant now, but it couldn't be better than it had been at home. He wasn't stupid. He knew that it wasn't all rainbows and unicorns in foster care. He'd heard the stories and knew that sometimes the homes meant to keep them safe were even worse than where they came from. He'd be scared if he had plans to stick around and find out the truth, but he didn't. And it empowered him.

The guys took forever to shut up and fall asleep that night when the yell came from upstairs that it was bedtime. Blaine took his time climbing up to the bunk to figure out how he could possibly climb down silently. In the end, he had to hope that the boys were heavy sleepers, because nothing he did could completely eliminate that squeak of the bed. He had mapped out his path to his bags then to the door to the room, then out the front door. This may be a strange place, but growing up with his father had made him stealthy and he was an expert at walking around unheard and unseen.

By 2am the boys were snoring loudly which helped to cover the sound of his descent. He grabbed his two duffle bags, never unpacked except to brush his teeth, but he'd slipped his toothbrush and toothpaste right back in. He silently turned the knob to open the door and silently shut it behind him. The stairs up creaked slightly, but he was small and agile and maneuvered them well. He didn't know if anyone would care that he ran away, and he didn't plan to find out. Ten steps across the kitchen and the living room, then a silent snap of the lock to open the front door. Open…closed behind him…and then he ran, not even looking back until he hit some trees down the street. Only then did he look, but he saw no lights flip on and he breathed a sigh of relief. He was free.

He was lucky that he knew the area and had paid significant attention to the roads and the landmarks on his way over from the office. He backtracked to a familiar place, then started to walk the ten miles or so to the Starbucks where he was meeting Kurt in five hours.

When he finally arrived, he waited until the doors opened, then was the first one in. He ordered a medium drip and a blueberry scone and found himself a quiet seat in the corner furthest from the windows and doors, and he waited for Kurt to arrive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you write you know that writers don't write, characters do. The decision Blaine made to erase his texts was heartbreaking to me, but I understood it completely. And it changed the way I see things in the world and the decisions I make on an all too frequent basis. And for that I am so very grateful to Blaine.


	3. Something to Believe In

Blaine was nodding off in the corner when he felt the familiar hand on his shoulder. His eyes shot open and at the sight of his beautiful Kurt, he jumped into his arms, nearly knocking over his half-drunk coffee.

"Shhh…" Kurt soothed as he squeezed Blaine as tightly as possible and caressed his boyfriend's hair. "Everything's going to be okay. We can do this, we can get through it."

"They took my phone," Blaine sobbed against Kurt's shoulder, knowing he was drowning expensive materials in his tears, not to mention making a complete fool of himself in front of the customers pouring into the coffee shop, but he didn't care. "I had to erase everything Kurt. I couldn't let them see."

"Oh Blaine, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I didn't know," he sighed, his own heart breaking at the thought. He had spent the night scrolling through every message of Blaine's he had ever kept and he couldn't imagine getting through this without it. "Come on," he said grabbing Blaine's hand, his coffee and a handful of napkins. "Let's go."

Blaine allowed himself to be led to Kurt's Navigator. Kurt walked him to the passenger side door and opened it for him, but letting go of Kurt may have been one of the hardest things he'd ever done. The minute Kurt closed the door, Blaine felt the walls close in, he felt his heart constrict and it seemed like hours rather than seconds until Kurt climbed into the driver's seat and grabbed Blaine's hand.

"I can't do this Kurt. I know you thought it was best, but it's not." Blaine stared at his hand clasped with Kurt's and he squeezed as strongly as he could, but it still wasn't close enough. "I can't be without you."

"Well you're not without me, Blaine, okay?" Kurt's voice was firm and he lifted Blaine's chin so that their eyes would meet. Kurt spoke as much to convince himself as Blaine. He knew that what he had done was right, but incredible guilt was building as the pain it was causing Blaine burned inside himself too. "You are never without me. Phone, no phone, it doesn't matter. I'm here. I didn't do this just so we would never see each other again. I did it so you would be safe. We are in this thing together, no matter what."

Blaine nodded and bit his lip until Kurt leaned in and kissed him, not even needing to beg entrance. Blaine let him in immediately and drunk up the taste of Kurt, the feel of him, the closeness of their bodies as one, but it wasn't enough. "I need you," Blaine whispered against Kurt's lips, their foreheads leaning against one another. "Please."

Kurt paused for only a moment. He didn't know exactly what Blaine was asking for, but it didn't matter, he would give him whatever he needed. "Let's go somewhere more private," Kurt agreed.

Blaine sat back in his seat as Kurt drove toward the theme park. They knew those roads fairly well by then and Kurt pulled into a secluded dead end street where they could park. Blaine climbed into the back seat as soon as the car stopped. Kurt turned off the car and opened his door, taking a breath of the fresh air before getting into the back. Kurt slipped in between Blaine's legs and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. Blaine needed Kurt, his lips, his caress, his skin on his own skin. He needed to feel Kurt, to love him, and to be loved by him. To remember what safe felt like because sitting on the floor of the bathroom of the OFC office, he had never felt so unsafe in his entire life. He'd ran from the foster home but he had run to Kurt and he would always run to Kurt. As they lay together, Blaine made a promise to himself that no matter what, nothing and no one would ever keep him and Kurt apart.

* * *

Kurt brushed Blaine's hair out of his eyes gently, trying to wake him without startling him. He knew Blaine hadn't slept at all the night before, so Kurt had let him rest, never taking his eyes off of his fluttering eyelids. Kurt wondered what visions he was seeing, if they were dreams or nightmares, and he softly stroked his temples to keep the terror away.

Kurt checked the time, and it was getting close to Blaine's call. He leaned in and kissed Blaine's lips. He felt a smile form underneath him and pulled away to catch hazel eyes staring up at him.

"Hey handsome," Kurt whispered. "It's time to go to work."

The smile disappeared from Blaine's face as he remembered the last 24 hours. Nodding silently, he climbed back into the front of the truck, straightening his wrinkled clothing while Kurt slipped into the driver's seat. They drove without words the final mile to the park, and Kurt pulled into the employee parking lot.

"I'm not going back Kurt," Blaine vowed staring out the window.

"Blaine, you have to," Kurt said, but his heart wasn't in it. Kurt didn't even know if they would take him back or how much trouble Blaine was in for running away in the first place.

Blaine turned to him, his eyes pleading. "Please Kurt, let's just go somewhere. At least for the weekend. I'll turn myself in on Monday but I need more time with you. I need to figure this out. Please."

Kurt knew it was wrong, he knew it would cause more trouble, but how could he tell Blaine no when he'd been the one to call? "We can't go back to my house. Dad never lets you stay over and if we try we'll have to tell him everything. Then he'll take you back tonight. If we go to Rachel's Finn is bound to find out, and then we're right back where we were." Kurt continued to think as Blaine's eyes begged him to find an answer. "Mercedes. I'll call her while you get ready for the show."

"Thank you," Blaine said, breathing a sigh of relief. He slipped on his employee badge and took the clothes that he needed from his bags, and the two walked hand in hand to the employee entrance.

Blaine approached the girl at the booth, using his wink and a smile full of charm to get Kurt into the park for free. They got to the theater only moments before Blaine was due backstage. Kurt kissed him once more, slightly afraid to let him out of eyesight. Neither of them knew what happened now, but as long as no one found Blaine before he performed, he knew everything would be okay. Blaine needed the escape and the focus of being on that stage. Music always soothed him and helped him figure things out. Kurt had watched Blaine over and over, whenever he was scared or angry or confused, lose himself in the music and come out on the other side with peace in his heart and wisdom in his soul. Today would be no different. 90 minutes on that stage and Blaine would figure this out.

In the meantime, Kurt called Mercedes, who was more than happy to entertain him and Blaine tonight. He asked her not to tell anyone that Blaine was going to be there and she agreed, seeing it as just a sly way for the two boys to spend the night together. She didn't know what was truly going on and though Kurt felt bad for not telling her the whole truth, he knew it was better that way. He called his father and let him know that he'd be spending the weekend at Mercedes house. Burt asked him suspiciously what Blaine was doing, but Kurt smoothly lied and said that Blaine was busy. He promised to call that evening before he and Mercedes went to bed.

Kurt sat through three of Blaine's shows; two children's performances and one rock and roll, before taking his seat in the front row of the fourth and final one. This final show was his favorite. It had some of his favorite Broadway numbers in it. He performed with three girls and two other guys and they alternated between duets, solos and group numbers. Kurt knew the set list by heart, but today, when Blaine came on stage hand clasped with a girl named Katie, he knew immediately that something was different. Blaine kissed her cheek as she walked over to the piano, taking over for the regular pianist, and Blaine grabbed a chair and flipped it around center stage. He straddled it, his forearms resting on the curved back, directly in front of Kurt.

"Katie and I usually sing a wonderfully romantic duet right about now," Blaine announced with a gleam in his eye, "but I asked her if it was okay if I took the stage alone this afternoon, and she kindly agreed." He paused, smiling at her then his gaze fell to Kurt as his eyes grew sad. "There's someone special here with me today and we may be apart for a little while. So I wanted to make sure he knew exactly what he means to me…before it's too late."

_Till the moment I found you_   
_I thought I knew what love was._   
_Now I'm learning what is true_   
_That love will do what it does_

Kurt held his breath as he listened to Blaine's voice and words. There was forgiveness in them; Blaine forgiving him but also permission for Kurt to forgive himself for whatever had happened and would happen from here on out.

_The world finds ways to sting you_   
_And then one day decides to bring you_   
_Something to believe in for even a night_   
_One night may be forever,_   
_But that's alright, that's alright_

_And if you're gone tomorrow_   
_What was ours still will be_   
_I have something to believe in_   
_Now that I know you believed in me  
_

Blaine stood up and walked down the center stairs to the audience, grabbing Kurt's hand and pulling him up on stage. Kurt blinked back his tears as Blaine sang, his heart filled with love and sorrow. Soon the tears were streaming unashamedly down his face as he smiled up at the boy he adored. Blaine wiped them away as he sang, the music letting him say everything he felt without the emotions overwhelming him. Blaine needed Kurt to know; he was strong, he was a fighter, and because of Kurt's love, he would get through this. No one could take that away from them. The words on the phone meant nothing, because they were all in his heart, he remembered every one.

_We was never meant to meet_   
_And then we meet, who knows why_   
_One more stranger on the street_   
_Just someone sweet passing by_

_An angel come to save me_   
_Who didn't even know he gave me_   
_Something to believe in_   
_For even a day_

_One day may be forever,_   
_But that's okay, that's okay_   
_And if I'm gone tomorrow_   
_What was our still will be_   
_I have something to believe in_   
_Now that I know you believed in me_

Kurt joined in with Blaine, singing from the heart. As much as he had given to Blaine, Blaine had given it all to him first. Courage, strength, the ability to believe in himself again when the bullies had tried to steal that from him. But nothing could. Because nothing could touch them or what they had. Not the bullies, not Blaine's father, and not the social workers. If they had to wait for each other they would because they believed that they were forever, and Kurt had told him he'd never say goodbye.

_Do you know what I believe in_   
_Look into my eyes and see_

_And if I'm gone tomorrow_   
_What was ours still will be_   
_I have something to believe in_   
_Now that I know you believed in me_

_I have something to believe in_   
_Now that I know you believed in me_

Kurt fell into Blaine's arms as the audience applauded and Blaine thanked them and led Kurt backstage. In the privacy of Blaine's dressing room, Kurt kissed him until they were breathless. Blaine's costars couldn't help but clap and the boys blushed, grins too big to hide. This was the way it should be. The way it should always be. Kurt and Blaine against the world. But it wasn't going to be like that come Monday. And Blaine didn't want to waste a second.

"Come on," he said to Kurt. "Let's get out of here."

* * *

The phone calls started early Sunday morning, 24 hours after Blaine had run from the foster home and they'd realized he was gone for good. The first call the foster mother made had been Saturday morning to the emergency number, which took the report and handed it off to the folks on-call. But teenagers ran every weekend and most showed up when they realized they had nowhere else to go. Blaine hadn't come back.

Sunday morning the foster mother called the police and filed a missing person's report. She informed the on-call staff that she would not allow Blaine to return to her home and her job was done. The social workers scoured the computers to see if there were clues as to where Blaine could have gone, but it was still so early in the case, almost nothing was entered. So they called the one person who might have answers.

Trying to get Mrs. Anderson on the phone at the shelter was a struggle, but by Sunday afternoon they finally were able to speak to her. It was then they learned about Blaine's friend Kurt and got a phone number and an address.

Burt received the call around 3pm on Sunday. He'd spoken to Kurt only a few hours before when he'd called begging to be able to stay until Monday morning so that he and Mercedes could go to the park to watch Blaine's final performance and celebrate the end of the summer. Burt had said yes against his better judgment and now he understood why.

Kurt had lied. He'd lied about it all.

The shock of learning not only that Blaine had been removed from his home, but of the abuse itself sent Burt shakily to the couch in the living room. The fear of what could have happened to the boy running in the middle of the nights through the streets of Columbus took his breath away. That was before he'd even had a chance to contemplate Kurt's role in all this. He needed some time to think. But most of all, he needed to see his children.

"They should be back to their friend's house around 7," Burt told the social worker as he checked his watch. "Blaine's getting off of work any time now and I don't know where they'll go after, but I told Kurt to make sure he was back at Mercedes' house before dark. Kurt hasn't said anything about Blaine being with him, but I'm sure he is. Is it ok if I meet you there?"

"Of course, Mr. Hummel. We'll be bringing the police as well, just in case he decides to run again."

Burt squeezed his eyes shut. "Is that really necessary? He won't run with me there. I'm like a second father to him," he explained, but it was no use.

"It's procedure, Mr. Hummel. Blaine's lucky. If he'd run during the week there would be a warrant and the police would be arresting him."

"What will happen to him now?" he asked with dread.

"He'll go to a group home tonight," the social worker explained. "After that it will be up to his worker whether he stays there or goes back to foster care."

Burt thanked them and hung up. He wanted to text Kurt, talk to him, wring his neck for lying to him and making horrible and dangerous decisions the last two days that just might have made things a million times worse for Blaine than they were before. But most of all he wanted to gather both boys up in his arms and never let them go. And that wouldn't be possible until he talking to Carole. He took his keys and headed over to the hospital.

* * *

"I can't believe how amazing you are up there," Mercedes was still gushing as she drove Kurt and Blaine back to her house. "I mean, I've seen you with the Warblers, but that's nothing compared to you soloing. Are you sure you can't come to McKinley next year? Everyone already loves you, you've practically spent the whole summer with us."

Blaine chuckled at Mercedes, glad she couldn't see the fear and sadness in his eyes. He tried to remain upbeat and ignored Kurt's pained glance as he answered. They'd been good all weekend, keeping Blaine's cover, he wasn't going to blow it now. "Sorry 'cedes. Don't quite think it's in the cards."

"Damn. Well, at least we'll get to kick your ass then in competition," she teased.

They arrived and raced into the house, ready for hot chocolate and ice cream. Kurt picked the movie, while Mercedes made the drinks and Blaine scooped their dessert when the doorbell rang. Mercedes went to answer, and stood in surprise when she saw who was at the door.

"Kurt, I think it's for you, it's your Dad," she called nervously.

Kurt walked slowly to the door as if to his execution, and his heart stopped when he saw his father's face, anger, disappointment and regret plastered as clear as day. But more concerning were the police behind Burt and the woman standing next to him. "Dad," Kurt said quietly, his pulse pounding in his head and then suddenly the tears started to fall. "Dad, please don't let them take him."

All eyes turned to Blaine who had slowly made his way to Kurt's side, panic racing through his veins. They watched as Blaine grabbed hold of Kurt's hand in desperation, but his words would not betray his fears. "It's okay Kurt," he said, his eyes never straying from the woman to whom he now belonged. He held his head high, strong and proud. "They can't take you from me. I know that now. I'll be okay."

But Kurt's strength disappeared in the presence of his father and he sobbed as he begged. "Please, Dad, do something."

Burt reached for his son and took both Kurt and Blaine in is arms as he whispered. "There's nothing I can do right now, but first thing tomorrow morning we'll go to the office and find out what's going on. I've already talked to Carole. I'm not going to let them mess this up, boys, I promise."

Blaine's face was stoic, hearing Burt's words but struggling to believe them. He stared at the social worker over Burt's shoulder. "Where am I going?"

"There's a group home in Columbus, Woodland Home for Boys, where you'll spend the night. Your worker will decide tomorrow whether you stay or they try another foster home."

Blaine felt Kurt's sobs next to him grow stronger and he turned sternly to his boyfriend. "Kurt stop," he ordered, wiping the tears from his eyes. "Kurt, I love you. What was ours will always be. I believe in us."

"I love you so much Blaine," Kurt gasped as he desperately crushed his lips into Blaine's, memorizing what he felt like against him, what he tasted like on his tongue. When Blaine reluctantly pulled away, Kurt struggled to let go. "Be safe."

"I promise," Blaine answered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Something to Believe In" from Newsies, the Musical.


	4. Woodland Home for Boys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been asked if the things that happen to Blaine are made up or exaggerated in order to increase the angst. I promise you that everything in this story is absolutely realistic; the bad and the good. Sadly, the bad doesn't have to be exaggerated. I cannot find Ohio statistics, but my state alone has approximately 3,500 teens in care. This is real life for way too many teens in the system.

Blaine stared out the window as the social worker drove him from Lima back to Columbus. She had tried to engage him in conversation, but he was done letting others control him and his life. He would talk in his own time and his own way. Finally though his curiosity outweighed his stubbornness. "What's it like? At this group home," he asked gruffly.

"You'll share a room with another boy. They have groups and activities during the day. If you stay you'll be assigned a clinician," she explained.

"Am I staying?" The uncertainty of everything was driving him crazy, he needed to know what was going on.

She felt bad, but she didn't have any answers for him. She looked at him sadly then turned back to the road. "I don't know. That will be up to your social worker."

"Who's that?" Blaine asked confused. So far there had been three workers he met and he had no idea who he was supposed to talk to about things.

"I don't know Blaine. Pretty sure your case will be assigned in the morning."

His case. That shut him up again. He wasn't a case, he was a kid. He was a kid with parents who missed him, a boyfriend who loved him and friends who would worry about him. And no matter how brave a face he tried to put on right now, the fact was he was terrified. He'd be sharing a room with another guy, and he knew that this place would be nothing like Dalton. The moment the boys at this group home found out he was gay, he'd be facing another Sadie Hawkins dance. Only this time it really would be the kids who beat the crap out of him.

It was already dark when they drove up to the program, a huge brown Victorian house with cut grass but overgrown bushes. It looked far less like home and more like prison to Blaine, but he wordlessly exited the vehicle and grabbed his duffle bags from the backseat. He followed the social worker as she climbed the stairs and pressed the buzzer.

A man Blaine judged as only a few years older than himself answered the door. "You must be Blaine Anderson," he said with a smile. Blaine only nodded curtly as he stepped inside and took in the room.

"The other social worker just finished signing the paperwork so he's all set," the man told her.

"Good luck Blaine," the social worker called and left, leaving him with no alternative and no escape.

A giant whiteboard with the first names of eleven boys plus his own greeted him. Next to each name was a grid and a color. His own was red, some of the other boys appeared to be on yellow or green. The room was fashioned out of furniture he could only imagine was donated from the nearest university, couches of reddish rough fabric with wooden backs and arms. It wasn't quite institutional, but it certainly wasn't what he was used to. He hated it here already.

"Blaine, my name is Mark. Why don't you come have a seat in the office so I can get some information."

Blaine shrugged and nervously followed him into the office, taking a seat beside the desk that was scattered with folders and papers. Mark pulled out a folder with his name on it. "Just a few quick questions, then you can head up to your room. I know you must be tired. We can finish your intake tomorrow if we find out you're staying."

Blaine answered what he needed to curt and concise. He wasn't here to make friends, especially with the staff. He just wanted to get through it and go to sleep so he could find out what was happening tomorrow.

When they were done, Blaine carried his duffle bags up to the room he was going to sleep in that night. His was briefly introduced to his roommate, a guy named Luke who reminded him far more than he would have liked of David Karofsky, and he managed only a course hello. Placing his bags on his bed, he took a look around. He was used to dorm rooms, but this one had nothing on Dalton. It was cold, with white walls and two wooden framed beds on which sat a flat mattress. He barely said a word as he grabbed his pajamas and his toiletries from one of his duffle bags and trudged to the bathroom all of the boys here shared. Some of the guys greeted him with a suspicious eye, but Blaine merely grunted a hello. Somewhere in his head he realized he was absolutely nothing like his calm, collected, dapper self from his days with the Warblers. He felt completely numb, walking in a fog in which he had no idea how to get escape.

Returning to his room snapped him out of it faster than he ever thought possible and the fog was quickly replaced with pure terror. Both of his duffle bags lay open on the bed where he had left them, but it was obvious they'd been rifled through. Luke stood in the center of the room, a sneer so malicious it hit Blaine like a ton of bricks. In his hand he held a framed picture of Blaine and Kurt, snuggled together in the Dalton dorms. Kurt must have slipped it in his bag over the weekend.

Blaine's heart pounded in his head, but he refused to let his voice shake. "Give that back right now," he demanded steadily.

Luke cackled, but kept hold of the picture. "So protective of your little boyfriend, aren't you? Isn't that sweet." Blaine's cheeks immediately flushed and Luke's smile disappeared from his face as he stepped within inches of Blaine. His hot breath made Blaine's head swim with a panic he refused to show. "But who's going to protect you fairy queen? I'm sure it's hard for you to get anything very straight, fag, but you better figure this one out quick. You lay one finger on any of us, and we will mess you up so much your little boyfriend won't want to go anywhere near you again. And that's not a threat…" Luke shoved the picture at Blaine's chest pressing it against him. "That's a promise."

* * *

Kurt looked uncomfortably around the lobby of the OFC office 9am Monday morning while his Dad went to talk to the receptionist. Burt had suggested they wait until a little later in the day, but Kurt would hear nothing of that. He had created this mess and Blaine needed him now, not two hours from now. Blaine needed to come home, with him, where he belonged.

Burt returned to Kurt and placed an arm around his shoulder. "Come on son, let's take a seat. She said it may be a little while."

Kurt slumped, wondering if this was the very seat where Blaine had spent so much time Friday afternoon. He stared at the walls Blaine had looked at, memorizing the posters Blaine had memorized. "They kept him waiting here for hours," Kurt told his Dad sadly. "By himself."

"Why didn't you tell me what was going on?" Burt asked. By the time they'd gotten home the night before there was little time to talk. Mercedes' parents had come home just as the police cruisers pulled out of their driveway and they were furious with Kurt and Blaine for causing a spectacle in the neighborhood and risking their daughter's safety. It took every ounce of Burt Hummel diplomacy to diffuse the situation, but Kurt still wasn't sure how they'd come down on Mercedes. He'd have to worry about that later though. His only thoughts right now were for Blaine.

"I didn't know until the day I called the hotline," Kurt admitted. "Though I suppose in retrospect I should have known. The signs were there. I guess I just didn't want to see them."

Burt took Kurt's hand and squeezed. "No one did. You did the right thing, son, don't ever question that."

Kurt only nodded. He wanted to believe that with all his heart. But right now it was the hardest thing in the world.

The office door clicked open and a tall, lean man Kurt judged to be in his late 20's, and bordering on gorgeous, appeared. "Mr. Hummel?" he asked.

Both Burt and Kurt stood, but Burt stepped forward. "Burt Hummel," he introduced himself. "This is my son Kurt."

"James Mason," the man told them. "I've just been assigned Blaine's case. Why don't you follow me Mr. Hummel. Kurt can stay out here."

Kurt looked at his dad with panic in his eyes, but he didn't need to. "Kurt comes with me," Burt informed James sternly. "There are no secrets between us or between him and Blaine."

James nodded. "Very well, for now. Due to confidentiality though, there may come a point when I have to ask for some privacy."

"Well, we'll cross that bridge if we get to it," Burt answered, placing a reassuring arm around his son.

James led them to a small conference room off the lobby and closed the door behind them. The room was cold and sterile and the chairs around the dirty table looked uncomfortable. "Have a seat," he offered.

The Hummel men took a seat and James sat with a notebook and a pen. He gathered the basic information he needed first: names of everyone in the household, birthdates, social security numbers, address and phone numbers, then leaned back, crossing his arms with a charming smile.

"So tell me how you know Blaine," he asked genuinely.

They'd talked about this on the ride over. Kurt knew that Blaine was scared of what outing himself in the system might mean, and he needed to respect that. But he also hated denying himself and what they were. He turned to his Dad, who as always, took charge of the situation.

"Blaine is very important to our family. To my son Kurt in particular. They went to Dalton together last year, and became close." Burt looked at Kurt who couldn't keep his easily shed tears from pooling in his eyes. Kurt dipped his head and picked at a loose thread on his jeans. "But none of that matters. What matters is that Blaine needs a real home, not a group home or a foster home. And we're ready to provide him one, if you let us."

James watched the two carefully, especially Kurt, and he thought he understood. "I'll do what I can Mr. Hummel, but these decisions aren't up to me and sometimes there are problems that take time to resolve. I can call you when I know more."

"We'll wait," Burt announced resolutely, not even needing to look at his son to know it was what Kurt wanted as well.

James smiled softly. "It could be a few hours for us to get the results of the background check. Why don't you come back after lunch."

Burt agreed, despite Kurt's pleading look. He knew the guilt that Kurt was feeling. It wasn't the same, but he'd found it very hard to do anything normal after Elizabeth had died, but he also knew how important it was. He dragged his son to a nearby Chinese restaurant and tried fruitlessly to get his mind off of Blaine.

"School starts in three weeks," Burt said.

"I know Dad." Kurt rolled his eyes and picked at his food. School didn't matter right now. He didn't even know where Blaine would be going to school if he couldn't come live with them, but he was certain it wouldn't be Dalton or McKinley. The thought of Blaine all alone in a strange school was devastating. From the moment they'd met, Blaine had never let him face his troubles alone, and now Kurt had no possible way of standing by Blaine's side. "Look, can we just go back? I can't stand not being there as soon as they know something."

Burt sighed. "Of course." He paid the bill and they walked silently out the door. Burt wanted more than anything to make everything better for Kurt. That's what he'd done since his son was a baby. Every step of the way if Kurt had let him in he'd done everything he could to fix whatever was wrong. But this was something completely out of his hands.

They sat in the lobby another hour before James returned. Kurt knew by the look on the man's face that the news wasn't good. They were led back into the same room where they sat in the same seats.

"So we've run into a few issues," James started to explain, and Burt sat back with his arms folded. Kurt's tears started down his face immediately. "First, management isn't too keen to place Blaine with the friend who helped him run away from his foster home."

"I didn't help him run away!" Kurt shrilled, but Burt placed a gentle hand on Kurt's. Kurt stopped talking but the tears flowed even harder now.

"And second?" Burt asked.

"Perhaps it's best if we talk alone, Mr. Hummel," James suggested.

"There are no secrets here," Burt said sternly.

James sighed. "Very well. Second, there seems to be an issue with your criminal check, Mr. Hummel," James said nearly apologetically. "Now usually, we can find out what it is and get it waived pretty quickly. Problem is, yours is from before criminal records were computerized. Records on microfiche can take months to come in, and we can't place Blaine in your home before we get them."

Burt took a page from his son and rolled his eyes. "I can't believe that would show up on a background check."

"Can you tell me what it was?" James asked glancing cautiously at Kurt.

But Burt had no concerns sharing in front of his son. "Of course. When I was 14 or 15 I was involved in a protest toward the end of the Vietnam War with my older brother and I was arrested. It was a peaceful protest, but the police didn't take too kindly to us sitting in their way, so they booked us and held us overnight for our parents to pick us up in the morning."

James pursed his lips. "Well, there should be no issue waiving that once we get the microfiche. But chances are we'll have to wait. They'll start the homestudy if you still want them to…"

"And meanwhile what?" Kurt yelled, jumping out of his seat. "He stays in a group home? Foster care? Where no one gives a shit about him?

"Kurt," Burt tried to calm him, but when Kurt was hysterical there was no stopping him.

"I helped him get to work, Dad. That was why he had me pick him up. So he could go to work," Kurt yelled frantically. "They took his cell phone, they took his car, Dad, they took every fucking thing from him and he was terrified they would take me too."

Burt's heart broke for his boys, but he had nothing to say that could make it better and though he didn't like his son's language, he knew that Kurt needed to get this out.

"This is all my fault. I did this to him and now I'm abandoning him to god knows what!" He turned feverishly to James. "What the hell have I left him to?"

"I'll make sure he's okay," James started, but Kurt cut him off.

"You can't," he spat furiously. "No one can."

Kurt stormed out the door and out to the navigator. He curled up in the front seat and sobbed. He was terrified for Blaine now, more terrified than he had been with him home. Every bone in his body was telling him that he had made a terrible mistake.

Burt climbed in the front seat, but didn't start the car. He tentatively placed a hand on Kurt's back and was relieved when Kurt let it stay. "Kurt, I need you to listen to me right now," he said as calmly as possible and he watched Kurt relax slightly. "I'm not giving up on Blaine. I will never give up on him. But we are going to do this the right way now. I'm not saying that you helping him run away caused this, but it didn't help son. So now we do it their way."

"I need to talk to him Dad," Kurt begged. "I need to see him."

"You will as soon as we can," Burt pledged. "But you can't right now and I'm not going to let you put your life on hold while you wait, do you understand me? You and Blaine both have to keep on moving forward."

"I'll try," Kurt whispered.

Burt nodded and sat back, starting the car. "All I can ask."

* * *

"That's where you fucking belong, isn't it fag?" Luke sneered, as Blaine clutched at his ribs now searing with the pain of Luke's kick. "On your knees is where you like to be."

The three other boys around him laughed. They had held him still and silent, watching with pleasure while Luke punched the crap out of him. "Don't you dare get up until we leave, hear me Blainers?" he mocked. "Don't need your fairy dust following us."

Blaine tried desperately to catch his breath as the boys walked out of the alley and back to the group home. He knew tears should be flowing from his eyes, but they had been spent days ago. Two weeks at Woodland and his eyes were dry as the desert. He checked his ribs and his ability to stand. Nothing was broken. He knew his face was fine. Luke always kept clear of any visible signs of his attacks.

To be fair, Blaine had as well the first few days when he'd fought back. He'd been on the boxing team at Dalton and he knew what he was doing. Luke realized that soon enough and enlisted the help of the other boys to give himself an unfair advantage. It made Blaine laugh, knowing that the bully needed back up to get the best of the gay kid.

Blaine slowly made his way back to the house. He hated everything about that place. He hated the staff, he hated the other kids and he hated that he couldn't talk to anyone on the phone. And he'd had absolutely enough. The whole point of this was to escape this shit, but things were even worse now than they'd been at home. Today was the final straw. He walked up the stairs and made his way into the living room of Woodland. One way or another, he was done with people beating on him.

"Hey Blaine, where you been?" sitting on the couch with his friends, Luke mocked kindness with a vicious smirk that no one who was looking could possibly miss. The problem was, no one was looking.

Blaine completely ignored him and headed straight to the office where Mark was completing some paperwork. "I need to call Kurt," Blaine demanded.

"Aww…gonna go crying to your boyfriend?" Blaine heard one of the boys tease, but he paid absolutely no attention, his eyes focused entirely on Mark.

"Mr. Anderson, you know that's not possible," Mark reminded him dispassionately. "The entire house is on red, due in no small part to you, and there are no phone calls on red."

The fights had begun in Blaine and Luke's room then moved quickly into the bathroom the second day he'd been in the house. The staff didn't take kindly to the boys fighting and put the entire house on red. That's when Luke and the boys started taking their abuse outside to where the garbage cans and gardening tools were kept. No one watched them back there.

"Then I need to talk to my parents," Blaine insisted. He hadn't spoken to them since he'd arrived. In fact, he hadn't talked to them since he was removed over two weeks ago.

"Sorry," Mark sung, not sorry. "Red means no phone calls at all. Besides, I still don't have numbers for them."

"What the fuck…"

"Language, Mr. Anderson," Mark reprimanded. The boys listening in chortled.

That did it. Blaine reached his tipping point and any patience he had left completely disappeared. "Don't you get it?" he screamed, though he kept himself from sweeping Mark's paperwork to the floor. "I need some damn answers here! I want to talk to my social worker."

Mark finally stopped what he was doing and swiveled a chair to meet Blaine's eyes. Blaine calmed himself quickly, doing everything he could to avoid restriction or restraint. Blaine had 16 years of experience regrouping instantaneously to avoid the risk of his father's punishment. He hoped the same tactic would work here.

Mark stared him down for no less than three minutes to make sure that Blaine was not escalating to the point of needing to put hands on, but it looked like the boy had calmed himself down. He turned to the desk and dialed a phone number. "Hello, James, this is Mark over at Woodland. I have your client Blaine Anderson here, and he wants to talk with you." Mark listened for a moment, then continued. "Yeah sure, as soon as you're done with Blaine we can schedule an appointment for you to come meet him."

Mark gestured to the seat next to his desk and Blaine sat down. He looked pleadingly up at Mark, who finally handed the receiver over. Blaine's eyes immediately closed as he tried to steady the desperation in his voice. "Hello? When are you going to come see me? There are things I need to talk to you about."

* * *

Blaine was dressed in nice pants and a button down shirt. He thought briefly to himself that Kurt would approve, but he couldn't let himself think about his boyfriend. This was the longest they had gone without talking to one another since they'd met nearly a year ago and it was killing him. He sat in the car with his new social worker, James, and tried to forget. At least until he could figure out what the man's reaction would be.

"So how is everyone treating you at Woodland?" James asked casually as they drove to the courthouse.

"Fine," Blaine muttered staring out the window. He glanced over to James. He seemed nice enough. He was handsome and well dressed, which in Blaine's mind counted for something at least. But most of all, he had demeanor about him that made Blaine feel comfortable, despite the fact that he was furious at his worker for not seeing him in two weeks. "Can we listen to some music?" he asked.

"Sure," James answered flipping through the radio tuner. "What do you like?"

"Pretty much anything," Blaine told him. "But top 40 is always good. Unless you're Kurt, and then it's a cop-out," he joked absentmindedly.

"You and Kurt are close I hear," James offered, hoping he'd get a little more information from his newest client.

But Blaine narrowed his eyes. "How did you hear that?" he demanded suspiciously.

"I met with Kurt and his Dad right after I got your case," James explained calmly. "They came into the office to see if you could go stay with them."

Blaine sat up straighter, hopeful for the first time in two weeks. "Can I?"

James glanced over at Blaine regretfully. "There were some issues. The biggest one being that Kurt is the one that helped you run away." James raised an eyebrow of disapproval, but in his eyes were a twinkle that Blaine didn't miss.

Blaine lowered his head, but a small smile played across his lips. "Kurt is the most moral and compassionate person I know. First and only time he's ever done anything even remotely wrong," Blaine shared quietly. "He'd do anything for me."

"And that's precisely what we're afraid of," James acknowledged. Blaine nodded with understanding.

They pulled up to the courthouse and James parked the car. "So what do I do here?" Blaine asked nervously, as they went through the metal detectors and found their way to their courtroom where they checked in and waited outside.

"Just tell the truth," James said. "The judge just has to meet you. Used to be that judges would preside over cases and make decisions about kids' lives without ever having met them. Recently they decided that wasn't right and so judges have to meet any kids whom the State has custody of."

"Why haven't I been able to talk to my parents?" Blaine asked suddenly. "I mean, other than me being on red. I've seen my phone list. Their numbers aren't even on it."

"Your Dad is in a substance abuse program for 30 days. He's not allowed contact until he gets out. Your mom's in a domestic violence shelter, and we're working on getting her a cell phone. The shelter doesn't give out a phone number for everyone's protection. But as soon as she gets her own phone, we'll put her number on your list and schedule a visit." James looked at Blaine sternly. "Of course you have to stop fighting with the other guys and get yourself off red. Fighting is only going to make things worse, and the staff tell me that it wasn't an issue before you got there."

Blaine nodded, but was saved from saying anything more when the bailiff came out and called his name.

Blaine and James were led into the courtroom, which was almost but not completely empty. Some lawyers and other social workers were hanging out or sitting in the seats by the tables or in the spectator's area. Blaine wondered if he'd have to go and sit in the witness chair, but the judge simply called them up to come around the side of the bench. She was fairly young for a judge, had a nice smile and long blonde hair and she leaned down on her chair at the top of the platform to be face to face with Blaine.

"Hi, I'm Judge Lawrence," she introduced herself, holding out her hand for Blaine to shake. He did firmly, raised by both his father and Dalton to give a good handshake, and was slightly heartened by her warm and inviting smile. She asked him his name and date of birth, which he told her and she confirmed that both were correct on her documents. "Where are you living right now?" she asked curiously.

"Woodland Home for Boys," Blaine answered and a knot formed in the pit of his stomach. His face must have reflected his feeling because her eyes grew concerned.

"And do you have everything you need there?" she asked.

Blaine was suddenly silent. He didn't have anything he needed there. He didn't have safety or protection or love or friends. He didn't have access to his parents or his boyfriend. He didn't have anyone to talk to.

"Blaine," she asked again, softly, her eyes meeting James with concern. "Are you being treated okay at Woodland?"

Again, Blaine couldn't answer. He couldn't lie, not to the judge in a courtroom even if he hadn't been sworn to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. But he knew better than to rat out people who were abusing him. If he hadn't learned that before, he sure as hell knew it now. Woodland was bad, but who knew how much worse the next place would be.

The judge looked up at the Bailiff, obviously bothered by Blaine's silence. "Can we clear the court room for a few minutes?" she asked.

Blaine's mind was racing and he barely heard the Bailiff, but when the judge took off her robe, stepped down and led him to the seats at the defense table, he looked up to see it was just her, James and himself.

"Blaine, I know you're scared," she said. "A lot has happened in very little time and I bet you've lost a lot of people that you love right now. But I need you to tell me the truth, okay?"

She asked so nicely, Blaine could do nothing but nod.

"What have things been like for you at Woodland?" she asked.

He looked at her, then glanced at James who nodded at him with encouragement. Blaine sighed and traced the lines on the wooden desk as he spoke. "It's been horrible, Ma'am. I haven't been able to see or talk to my parents or my…my friends. And the guys," he cut himself off. He thought about Kurt, what Kurt would want him to do. He pictured him here and he knew that Kurt would want him to tell so that it could get better. Kurt had learned with Blaine's help that keeping his bullying a secret was the wrong thing to do. Blaine had to tell the truth now. Out and Proud. Courage. "My roommate found out the first night that I was gay. That's what the fights have been about. At first it was just him and me, but now they are all ganging up on me." Blaine looked up to James. "Kurt's my boyfriend. Please," he begged, his eyes tearing. "I need to see him."

* * *

James drove Blaine back to Woodland to get his things. He promised Blaine there was no way that he'd let him return, even if it meant bouncing foster homes a few days until they could find a permanent place.

"Thank you," Blaine whispered, not sure whether to be relieved of getting out or terrified of the next step.

"This is my job, Blaine," James told him firmly. "If you're in danger, or you need something, you call and tell me. No matter what and I'll do everything I can to protect you. If you're in trouble, call. If you're on the run, call. And definitely if you're being hurt, call. You're mine now Blaine, and I'm not going to let you get hurt if there is anything I can do to stop it. Capiche?"

Blaine couldn't help but smile softly. "Capiche," he agreed.

With James' help, Blaine got in and out of Woodland as fast as possible without anyone bothering him, grabbing his things under his social worker's watchful eye. James signed the necessary paperwork, made a quick phone call, then they started the drive back to the office.

As they drove, James reached into the glove compartment, pulling out a picture and handing it to Blaine.

"What's this?" Blaine asked curiously.

"That's my best friend at his wedding in NY two months ago," James said pointing to a gentleman in a tuxedo. "That's his husband," he pointed to the other. Blaine's eyes snapped to his social worker, but no sound came out of his mouth. "I was their best man," James smiled reminiscing. Then he grew serious. "I don't care if you're gay or bi or straight Blaine. I will care that you're happy and that you're being treated well."

A weight on Blaine's shoulders that he hadn't fully realized was there was lifted. "Thanks," he said. His good mood only improved as they pulled into the parking lot of the OFC office. "Is that…" Blaine couldn't finish his sentence as he furiously unbuckled his seat belt and raced out of the car. He didn't see James grinning behind him. He threw the outer door to the office open and his tears started falling from his face before he could even open the inner door.

He didn't have to though because Kurt pulled the door open himself and Blaine flung himself into his boyfriend's arms. Their tears mixed as they embraced, though they both instinctually held back on the kisses they desperately needed. "I missed you so much," Blaine cried and Kurt held him closer than he ever thought possible. "I broke my promise Kurt. To stay safe. I tried, but I couldn't," he sobbed.

Kurt wanted to ask a million questions, but he kept them all for later. "It's okay baby," he soothed as his barely mended heart shattered again. "Shh…you're okay now, I'm here and I love you, forever and ever."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I absolutely love your thoughtful reviews and your questions, and I will answer as much as I can. Including ways you can help the real kids out there. Want to know, just ask!


	5. Trapped on the Outside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Curt Mega, who is one of my biggest inspirations and now a friend, wrote this poem only hours before I finished this chapter. I thought it so perfectly illustrated this story that I had to include it:
> 
>   
> _The Truth_  
>  By Curt Mega  
>  __  
> What if truth was unpleasant?  
>  What if the truth was hard?  
> What if the truth could lead to  
> Blissful delusions being marred?
> 
> What if choosing truth  
> Came at too high a price?  
> What if choosing ignorance  
> Was the best form of advice?
> 
> To remain as you were…  
> And not upset the scale…  
> Would you choose freedom?  
> Or would you choose to stay in jail?
> 
> What if that jail came  
> With food and with a bed?  
> And to leave your little cell  
> Was to surely end up dead.
> 
> Would you unlock the door  
> To escape with your life?  
> Only to find yourself alone.  
> Trapped on the outside. 
> 
> Poem © Curt Mega. Published July 29th, 2012

"I missed you so much," Blaine cried and Kurt held him closer than he ever thought possible. "I broke my promise Kurt. To stay safe. I tried, but I couldn't," he sobbed.

Kurt wanted to ask a million questions, but he kept them all for later. "It's okay Blaine," he soothed as his barely mended heart shattered again. "Shh…you're okay now, I'm here and I love you, forever and ever."

They held onto one another for longer than they probably should have in such a public place, until Blaine finally felt the ability to breathe on his own. He looked over Kurt's shoulder to his social worker. "Can we go outside? Just for a walk?" he asked hopefully.

James frowned though and looked back at both boys. "Sorry Blaine. There's a whole lot of trust that you two still need to earn back." He hated seeing the disappointment in both their eyes, but he couldn't take the risk of them running again. Still, it was clear that they needed time together. "The couch room looks free. I'll sign it out for you, why don't you guys visit in there while we figure out where Blaine's going tonight."

Burt placed a hand on each of their shoulders. "Go ahead in boys, I'll be in in a few."

Kurt smiled softly at his dad, thankful for the privacy they were being afforded. Kurt took Blaine's hand and led him down the hall.

The minute they closed the door, Blaine swept Kurt into his arms and kissed him deeply. The sense of calm that washed over him as two weeks of waiting was over and he was finally exactly where he belonged was nearly overwhelmed by the voice inside his head telling him it was merely a moment in time before he was forced away again. But as Kurt clung to him, pressing their bodies as closely together as was possible, Blaine pushed away the ugly thoughts and centered himself on  _this_ moment.

They didn't separate until the door inched opened and Burt cautiously stuck his head in the tiny gap. "Is it safe to come in?" he asked with a smirk.

Blaine pulled away gently and rested his forehead on Kurt's. "Yes sir," he whispered respectfully. He kissed Kurt softly one more time, then led him to the armchair in the room and guided Kurt onto his lap.

Burt considered pointing out the large couch that sat in the room, but couldn't bring himself to separate them more than they wanted. It wasn't behavior he would normally approve of in a place of business, but this one time, he would make an exception.

Blaine understood and kept his hands wrapped tightly around Kurt's waist as he spoke to Burt. "Did James say anything about where I might go?"

Burt shook his head. "He needs to talk to his supervisor and the people who find homes. He said he had a program he wanted you to go to, but didn't think he'd be able to get you in today."

Blaine flinched. "I don't want to go to another program," he begged, his voice trembling slightly with fear.

Kurt gazed down at him and brushed a hand along his cheek. "What happened Blaine?"

Blaine looked at his hands clasped together and shrugged. "Just the usual," he muttered.

Ashamed eyes flipped up to Kurt and got lost in blue pools of understanding. Kurt pulled him close and kissed Blaine's head. Blaine didn't need to say the words out loud for Kurt to recognize the signs of being harassed by homophobic brats who had nothing better to do with their time than spread their fear and hate. Kurt had experienced enough of the terror himself during his first two years at McKinley. It was over now, at least he hoped it was. But it was never forgotten. Blaine shuddered beneath him and Kurt's own skin prickled with the memories.

"Are you okay?" Kurt asked gently. Bullying took a toll, physically and mentally, and Kurt couldn't help the guilt that continued to wash over him with every turn. So far, absolutely nothing good had come of revealing Blaine's secret.

"I'm okay now," Blaine assured him, resting his head on Kurt's shoulder.

The door opened and three heads shot up to stare at James. He came in quietly and sat down on the couch. "Everyone alright in here?"

The boys shrugged as Burt answered. "We just want to know what happens next."

James leaned seriously toward Blaine. Kurt suddenly blushed, feeling awkward and slid off his lap and into his own chair. Blaine instantly felt very alone, and the way James was looking at him certainly didn't help with that feeling.

"I know where I want you to go and I'm working on it, but it may take a little more than a week."

"Where is it?" Blaine interrupted in a quick panic.

"Let's not worry about that now," James said dismissively. "I need to know if there is anyone you can think of who you might be able to stay with until I can get you in there."

"I only want to be with Kurt," Blaine answered immediately.

"And we're working on that Blaine, I promise, but it's not going to happen quickly. The home study will take a few months, and there's nothing I can do to change that. Believe me," he added apologetically, "I've tried."

Blaine's eyes teared. "Well I don't have anywhere else to go."

James took a deep breath. "What about your brother?" he asked cautiously.

Blaine's eyes flashed with anger. "No. Absolutely not!"

"Blaine," Kurt attempted to convince Blaine to reconsider, but his mind was made up.

"No!" he yelled as his hands balled into fists. "Cooper left me, okay? He knew how things were and he left. He had his chance to take me with him to LA but he didn't. Besides, there's no way I'm moving to California."

"He'd only really be an option if he moved back to Ohio anyway. Anywhere out of state requires an Interstate Compact and that takes even longer than your home study," James explained to Kurt and his father calmly.

Blaine scoffed. Cooper would never move back to Ohio. Not for him.

"Well, where does that leave us then?" Burt questioned.

Blaine wracked his brain. Most of his friends from Dalton lived out of state and they'd all be going back to school in a week anyway. He was sure none of their parents would take him in. He considered Kurt's friends. He'd met them all a few times, but the ones he'd spent the most time with would probably be a no as well. He'd spent plenty of time during Friday night dinners hanging out with Finn and Puck, but he knew enough by now to know that Puck and his family would be out of the question. Mercedes' parents would never take him in after having the police come to their home. That really only left…

"What about Rachel?" he asked, his stomach fluttering with nervous hope as his wide eyes flitted between the three other men in the room. "I'm sure her Dads would let me come for a few days."

Burt, James and Kurt all eyed one another then frowned in Blaine's direction. His heart sunk.

"We already suggested her when I talked to James the other day, Blaine," Burt began to explain.

"Blaine," James continued regretfully, "I really wish it was an option, but there's no way that they would be approved on an emergency basis."

"Because they're gay," Blaine said quietly. He didn't have to ask. He knew.

James nodded. "Ohio has no laws against it, but we also have no laws to protect it. Other offices may be different, but in this one, they could only be approved with a home study. Pretty much where we stand with the Hummels."

All of Blaine's anger rose to the surface and he exploded. He grabbed whatever he could find next to him and threw it across the room as he leapt out of his chair. Everyone jumped up but it was Kurt that reached him first and pulled him into a tight embrace. "We'll get through this," Kurt promised.

But Blaine was too far gone. "It's not  _WE_  Kurt, it's me! Just me! Completely alone and there is absolutely nothing anyone can do about it!"

As the adults tried to step in, Kurt urged them back. Blaine tried and tried to pull away but Kurt held him firmly and eventually Blaine's fight was reduced to tears. As soon as he knew everyone was safe, James stepped out of the room to continue his search and to give the family privacy.

"I'm sorry," Blaine sobbed against Kurt's shoulder, tears soaking his sleeve.

"Shh…don't be sorry." Kurt kissed and stroked Blaine's hair over and over as he soothed him. He looked to his father feeling completely helpless with an ache so deep he didn't know where it ended. He searched for strength in his father's eyes, but Burt's furrowed brow betrayed him. He didn't know how to fix this any more than Kurt did. Kurt turned his attention back to Blaine, grasping his boyfriend's face in his hands as he wiped the tears with his thumbs. He looked at him sternly, forcing Blaine to listen. "Don't ever be sorry. I believe in you and you  _will_  get through this."

* * *

They visited for two hours while they waited for James to come back to them with a plan. Conversation ceased soon after Blaine's outburst as Blaine and Kurt simply held one another close on the couch. Every once in a while, Burt would make some small talk, but understood just how important this time was to his boys. There was no saying when the next chance would come.

James finally returned and took a seat. Kurt and Blaine sat up but kept their hands grasped together. All three men watched him expectantly. The social worker took a deep breath and smiled. "First of all, how would you like a visit with your mom tomorrow?"

One set of weights was suddenly lifted off Blaine's shoulders and he grinned widely. "That would be awesome," he agreed with a sigh of relief.

"Good. Now. I have an amazing program for you to go to, but they won't have an opening until probably Wednesday of next week. So until then, I've found you a foster home that will keep you  _if_  you don't screw up like last time," James smirked playfully.

"I'm not screwing up again," Blaine promised quietly. "What's the program?"

"It's called Sidney House and it's in Sidney. It's a group home designed specifically for LGBTQ kids who have had trouble at home and in the system because of their sexual orientation or gender identity. It's safe, it's supportive and you'll get everything you need there."

"That sounds promising, Blaine," Burt said with more enthusiasm than was probably warranted.

"And it's only about 40 minutes from Lima," Kurt added. "I remember Sidney's show choir from all the information that Rachel's collected. Their pretty good. And there's that theater downtown."

But no matter what they said, Blaine was silent. All he heard was program and 40 minutes away. He didn't want to be that far from Kurt. If he couldn't go to Dalton with his friends, he wanted to be at McKinley.

"Would I have to go to school there?" he finally asked.

"We can talk about it once you're there. Let's just get you there first," James reasoned. I need you somewhere that you're safe."

Blaine slowly nodded. "Ok."

"Good," James smiled. "Now, most kids your age know how this all works, but since this is your first time working with us, let me explain how I do things. Ok?"

"Sure," Blaine agreed.

"Ok. Now, you and your family are the most important people on my caseload. But so are the other 17 families I work with. Sometimes you're going to be fine and they are going to be in crisis. Sometimes you are going to be in crisis and they are going to be fine. And all too frequently, everything explodes at once," he chuckled. "So, if you need something call. When you call,  _leave a message_ ," he emphasized. "If you don't leave a message, I won't call back. I do sometimes check my messages from the road, but I don't always, so if it's a real emergency then leave me a message and call my supervisor. The important thing is to advocate for yourself. If you need something let me know and I will help you as soon as I can. Deal?" James held out his hand.

Blaine understood. It had been the same at Dalton. So many kids and not enough staff. Sometimes questions needed to wait for emergencies. Blaine grasped James hand and smiled. "Deal."

"Good. Now, let's get you to your foster home for tonight and I'll pick you up around noon for your visit with Mom. I'll give you a minute to say goodbye."

"Can I have my cell phone in this foster home?" Blaine asked hopefully.

"We'll have to double check, but I think so. I'll go grab it just in case," James smiled.

Blaine smiled as well and turned to Kurt. "I'll text you tonight if I can."

"I love you so much," Kurt answered, pulling Blaine toward him for a kiss. "You are the bravest person I know." They lost themselves in each other for one last moment before they heard a throat clearing behind them.

Blaine turned to Burt with a sheepish smile and flushed cheeks. "Sorry, sir."

"Kurt said no being sorry, kid," Burt told him and pulled him in for a hug. "You take care of yourself, and keep in touch. We'll keep working on things on our end. It sounds like a real fine program where they intend to place you."

Blaine nodded. "I hope so." It couldn't be worse than the last one.

* * *

Blaine's first night in his new foster home went better than expected. The family was nice. He was the only foster kid there and the two little boys who greeted him at the front door were adorable. Their parents were sweet and kind and offered him the choice of television shows that night. It was nice to be welcomed so quickly as one of the family, but his mind was elsewhere. He flipped on Law & Order, his thoughts immediately drifting to his visit with his mother tomorrow.

He was excited and scared. He didn't know if she'd be happy to see him or angry that his honesty had ripped their family apart. It had been two weeks and he had no idea what had happened to her or his father, whether they missed him or hated him. He didn't know if they were getting better or drowning themselves in the drugs and alcohol that they so frequently turned to in difficult times. All he wanted was to see them both clean and sober and loving him.

His thoughts kept him up all night, despite texting Kurt until midnight, and he felt that he'd only just fallen asleep when the alarm went off in his room. He moved as if in a daze through the morning, nibbling at his breakfast, taking a long shower and spending forever in the bathroom. He tried to fill the minutes until James arrived at noon. He sat on his bed, phone in his hand, but the words wouldn't come. Because this was something Kurt wouldn't understand. No one would. No matter what they had done, no matter how much they had hurt him or would hurt him, he loved his Mom and Dad and all that mattered was being back with them.

The doorbell rang and he jumped. His foster mom let James into the house and he stood around the corner listening in where they couldn't see him. Their voices were hushed but she heard him say that he'd been quiet and nothing but a perfect gentleman, and for some reason, it made him smile. The image he'd presented of himself those first two weeks in care was not at all who he was or who he wanted to be.

He came around the corner and James smiled at him. Blaine smiled back. James somehow managed to exude a sense of warmth and caring that none of the other people he'd come in contact with so far had been able to do. It made him want to do well. "Hey," he said quietly.

"Hey Blaine," James said. "Ready to go?"

Blaine nodded and said goodbye to the family, taking only his cell phone with him as they headed out the door. The talked briefly on the ride over about the foster home, but Blaine only barely heard James. His heart was beating frantically in his ears.

He recognized his mother's harsh blonde hair in the window of the OFC office before he even opened the door. She stood up as soon as he walked inside, and though a part of him wanted nothing more than to run to her and feel her arms around him, his hands were stuck in his back pocket and he stopped three feet away from her. "Hey," he greeted her shyly.

She smiled and opened her arms to him. "Hey," she responded and he didn't hold back anymore. He closed the distance and fell into her embrace. She held him for a moment, then stepped back to look at him. "You look alright," she said almost surprised.

"Yeah," he nodded nervously. "Yeah, I'm alright."

"Why don't you two head into the visiting room?" James' suggestion caught them both by surprise. They'd nearly forgotten that he was there. They walked into the small couch room where Blaine and Kurt had spent the previous day, but this time the door stayed open as James sat right outside watching every interaction.

Blaine knew he was supposed to just concentrate on the good stuff, seeing her again, and he wanted to, he really did. But the questions that plagued his mind refused to leave and those were the only words that spilled out of him before he and his mother could even sit. "Why haven't you come to visit me earlier? Or even just call me?" His tone was accusatory and he hated the tears that threatened to betray his anger for pain.

Theresa Anderson stopped in her tracks and Blaine watched as her face tightened. "It's been a long two weeks Blaine," she explained defensively. "We've spent two days in court."

"What the hell does that have to do with anything?" Blaine yelled incredulously. He knew exactly how long a two weeks it had been. "What the fuck kind of excuse is that?"

In a flash her hand was around his wrist, gripping it so tightly it ached immediately, even before she began digging his nails into his skin. "You watch your language, young man," she whispered at him through gritted teeth.

"Sorry," Blaine muttered under his breath as he pulled away. His left hand flew to his hurt wrist where his pulse was racing, and he rubbed his skin discreetly. His eyes shifted to James and it was clear that his social worker hadn't missed a thing.

"Hands off your son, Theresa, or this visit ends." James ordered.

"You're telling me I can't touch my son?" she challenged.

"I'm telling you that you can't  _hurt_  your son," James stood his ground.

"Mom," Blaine pacified, his eyes darting back and forth between his mother and his social worker. "Let's just sit down and talk, okay?" He took a good look at her as she sat with him on the couch. She wasn't drunk but her eyes were red rimmed and cloudy. He didn't know if it was from crying or the prescription pills she too often abused. Sometimes those pills stole her hope, her patience, and her love and made her forget. It was only during those times that she'd ever hurt Blaine, but maybe the stress of losing everything could do the same.

"Where's Dad?" he asked. "Do you think he'll come visit me soon?"

"Your dad's in treatment," she told him. "Hopefully he'll be coming home soon."

Blaine's eyes narrowed. "Are you home? I thought you were in a shelter."

Mrs. Anderson made a face. "Shelter's not for me. I have a perfectly nice home, there's no reason for me to live in a shelter."

So his mother was home, his dad was going home soon and he was stuck living with strangers, about to go into a program. Maybe he could convince them to just let him return to Dalton. He was safe there and he could live there just as well as at home. "When do you think I can come home? I could board at Dalton full time. I won't get in trouble and I'll just be home on vacations. I promise I won't provoke Dad anymore." He turned to James, hope emanating from his eyes. "Can't I just do that?"

"We can't afford for you to board at Dalton, Blaine," his mother said. "Your dad's probably going to lose his job because of all this. He's going to be away a month and then they're going to make him go to counseling and outpatient treatment, plus court dates because they're charging him with assault and battery. He's on probation."

Blaine thought he might start hyperventilating. His father probably hated him. A part of him was furious at Kurt. But he immediately pushed it away. Kurt had only done what he thought was right. Blaine's was the one who had destroyed his family for telling the truth. He'd been told over and over again that if he told about the bad it would ruin everything that was good. He had known the consequences and resolved to deal with them himself. His parents wouldn't change, so he would need to.

"When do you go back to work?" It felt ridiculous just reverting to casual conversation, but he needed to calm her down, show James that she was a good person, a good mother.

She relaxed as she talked about her job. Just like Blaine, school was always the bright spot of her life. That's why she pursued a career in education and became a professor at Ohio State University. "Classes start next week, just like you. I've got seminars planned this year in folklore, mythology, renaissance and medieval literature."

James watched from the door as Blaine and his mother finally slipped into comfortable conversation. As if by magic, he saw their relationship transform from strained acrimony to a familiar comfort with one another. Blaine and Mrs. Anderson's faces beamed as they playfully but passionately debated literature and James couldn't help but marvel at just how intelligent Blaine was. But there was more. For the first time, he could see not only the love between his mother and Blaine but also how well they could resolve conflicts and solve problems when they worked together. Despite how roughly the beginning of the visit had gone, James knew that these two belonged together.

After 2 hours of bright discussion, James ended the visit and scheduled another for the following week. Blaine had long since forgiven how she'd hurt him and his eyes filled with tears as he had to say goodbye. "Can I give her a hug," he pleaded, remembering the no touch rule.

James smiled. "Of course."

Blaine wrapped his mother in his arms. He understood. Her fear and shame at everything that was happening to them had led her to take her pain out on Blaine. It wasn't the first time and he knew it wouldn't be the last, but she was his mother and he loved her no matter what. The severity and coldness that she'd wrapped around herself for protection at the beginning of the visit had long ago melted away and now she shook with vulnerability as she had the night he'd left her.

"It's going to be okay, Mom. I'll be okay." It suddenly hit him that she hadn't really asked about him and how he was doing the entire visit, and though it would gnaw at him for the next week, he let it go for now.

"Love you," he told her as he was led out to the door by James to return to his foster home.

"Love you too, Blaine. Be good."

"Do what they tell you to do, you and Dad, so I can come home," Blaine begged. "Please."

"I will darling, I promise." she said as she held back her tears.

But Blaine had come to realize that the only promises these days were broken ones.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you all. Hug the ones you love.


	6. Sidney House

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The newest character Xavien is actually one I stole from my "novel" that I will ~~never~~ write, but he is based on a gorgeous picture of Adam Lambert.
> 
> Also the program that Sidney House is based on is one of only three in the US. So Sidney House makes four, LOL.
> 
> There's nothing in this world that is all bad or all good. In the worst of times there are moments of joy and hope. And in the best of times, there are moments of pain. In the darkness it seems forever, but there is light at the end of every tunnel.

She hugged him tightly and he nearly melted in her arms, unexpected tears betraying his cool exterior. She had been kind to him, a good listener. He loved his own mother, but she was never much of a hugger.

"You be good Blaine," his foster mother teased him, ruffling his hair only a touch. "This program is right where you need to be right now, but you call me if you need anything, okay?"

"Sure," Blaine nodded, blinking back the wetness. He turned to the little kids who were rushing up to grab his legs and he ruffled their hair mercilessly. "Gonna miss you guys. Be good for your Mom. Don't give her any trouble, because she's a good one." He glanced up at her with a crooked smile and her warm eyes smiled back.

"Time to go Blaine," James urged softly.

He gave her one last hug and grabbed his duffel bags, throwing them in the back seat of James' car. Once he got into the front though, he was quiet again, that unsettled feeling setting in again.

_**From Blaine to Kurt: Moving Day** _

**_From Kurt: You can do this, Blaine, you're a rock star. I believe in you._ **

_**From Blaine: And if I can't use my phone again? ~** _

"Want some music?" James interrupted his texting.

"Sure," Blaine answered.

_**From Kurt: Nothing can keep us apart, remember that. You are forever in my heart and always in my thoughts.** _

_**From Blaine: I love you more than anyone.** _

_**From Kurt: I love you too.** _

"Kurt good?" James asked with a smirk. Sounds of the top 40 rang through the car, but for once, Blaine didn't feel like singing.

He frowned though, staring out the window. "Yeah, he's fine. Getting ready to start school on Tuesday."

"And you want to go with him," James stated. He didn't need to ask. Blaine had been asking since the day they'd met.

"I don't want to start something else new," Blaine explained. "I mean, I know McKinley is new and it's not Dalton, but I know a bunch of the kids there and…"

"And Kurt is there," James finished for him. "I get it Blaine. I just don't know if it's possible. No promises. But we'll try."

Blaine nodded. He didn't believe in promises anymore anyway.

* * *

Blaine followed closely behind James as he walked up a brick-laid pathway to a large federal-style home with an expansive tree-lined backyard in the suburbs of Sidney, Ohio. A million thoughts ran through his head. He imagined it would have to be different from the last program. He couldn't imagine that he'd have to deal with homophobia here, but there were many kids of prejudice and kids could be mean for so many reasons. Would they look down on him for performing, like at Kurt's school? Would they hate that he had money or had gone to private school? He had fit in so easily at Dalton, but this world of foster care and group homes was entirely new to him and from what he'd learned so far, he didn't fit in.

The distinguished looking home was like one of many he would have found in his neighborhood in Westerville. James rang the doorbell and Blaine's body tingled with nerves. He was amazingly surprised when they were greeted at the door by a smile attached to what Blaine considered a 6 foot 1 inch tall, thin body of sex. Blinking to rid the thought from his mind, he focused in on the man's kind but piercing blue-gray eyes, thick dark slicked back hair and the two obsidian studs in each ear. He wore a silver suit with a black button down partially unbuttoned underneath, and Blaine couldn't help but imagine Kurt's face at the thought of Blaine living with this guy.

"Hey James," the man said cheerily, and Blaine was certain the two knew each other outside of work. "Come on in." He opened the door for the two and grabbed one of Blaine's duffle bags he was carrying with a welcoming grin.

"Thanks," Blaine said shyly.

"No problem! You must be Blaine?" Blaine nodded his head, unsure of the words that may come out of his mouth. "I'm Xavien. I run this joint, and I'll be your caseworker while you're here. Let's put your bags down and you and James can come hang out with me in the kitchen while we fill out your paperwork. Would you like some coffee?"

The greeting from Xavien was so much different than the one he'd received from Mark at Woodland that he already felt much better about the situation. But there was more. The home felt warm and comfortable, with sophisticated décor that Kurt would approve of, mixed in with posters of LGBT acceptance. The living room appeared contemporary and bright and like a living room that would appear in any one of his friend's homes.

Xavien watched Blaine's eyes open wide with wonder and smiled. "We want your friends to feel comfortable coming over. We want Sidney to be home, not a program."

Blaine felt his nerves easing and he kept looking around. There were two rooms beyond the living room as they continued their way to the kitchen at the back of the house. One was a large dining room with a table that could seat at least a dozen, and the other was a warm room filled with stylish but eclectic seating. There were different size couches, rounded seats like eggs that you could sink into, a rocking chair, and even a seat hanging from the ceiling on which someone could swing. The room had two bulletin boards, one filled with homemade artwork and the other filled with affirmations and listed rules.

"That's our therapy and group room. Only room in the house that screams program, but it ends up being some of our kids' favorite room," Xavien explained. "There's something about having a special place where you can just lay it all out there and know that there's only support and love that has its appeal."

They entered the rather large kitchen and Blaine sat at the table with James. "Decaf or regular?" Xavien asked.

James requested decaf while Blaine asked for regular and Xavien slipped each choice into the Keurig, bringing out the cream and sugar for them. "There's a swear jar right here," he said pointing to a jar filled with quarters. "There's no swearing allowed anywhere in the house except the therapy room. Each one costs a quarter and the money goes toward coffee."

"So then what's the incentive not to swear?" Blaine asked with a grin.

Xavien chuckled. "Any day you guys don't put money in, program staff will donate five dollars."

Blaine smiled as they sat together, feeling more like new friends getting to know one another than caseworker and client, and it made Blaine feel comfortable.

"So," Xavien started. "Let me tell you a bit about Sidney House before we start with all the boring stuff. We have two major rules. Rule Number One, no relationships between anyone who lives in this house. It becomes complicated, has the threat of breaking trust, and it ruins the very important and sensitive dynamics in the house. Breaking that rule will get one or both of you kicked out. Rule Number Two, this is a safe house. There is absolutely no bullying of any kind. We take care of each other, we stand up for one another, we don't tear anyone down. On that note, every room sleeps 4 and one of your housemates from a different room is assigned as your 'buddy', and will show you around while you're getting situated. He'll be down in a bit." Xavien stopped for a breath and to let Blaine take it all in. "So, any questions before we start?"

"Um," Blaine hesitated. He was still nervous. So far it seemed this program was different from the last, but it didn't mean he trusted them yet. Still he had to try. "Can we talk about where I'll go to school?"

Xavien smiled and leaned back in his chair. "Well, most of our kids go to Sidney High School."

"Most?" Blaine asked, eyebrows raised with hope.

"Sometimes we have kids that are bussed to their old schools or to vocational schools out of district. We have been able to work with kids if they really want something."

"I want to go to McKinley," Blaine blurted. "In Lima."

Xavien nodded slowly, remembering Blaine's packet of information. "That's where you ran to."

Blaine lowered his head. If he had known that would follow him forever and ruin everything, he might not have done it.

"Someone special there?" Xavien asked with a knowing look.

Blaine looked up in surprise, then looked away with a blush. It told Xavien all he needed to know.

"Look, Blaine, it's been a long road, but our kids have found acceptance at Sidney. They've developed a gay/straight alliance and a chapter of PFLAG." He looked hard at Blaine. "You won't find that at McKinley."

Blaine sighed. "I know. But my heart is there. I have friends. A boyfriend. I've been without him too long," Blaine pleaded. "Please."

Xavien nodded with understanding. "I'll see what we can do."

* * *

Blaine was tired by the time they finally finished all the paperwork and a tall lanky young man with sea-green eyes and bronze hair walked into the room. "This the new kid?" the young man asked with a pleased smirk on his face.

Xavien stood up and Blaine did as well. "Blaine Anderson, meet Sebastian Smythe, your buddy for the next few weeks. Please ask him anything you need to."

Blaine looked him over and though Sebastian was definitely good looking, there was something about him that Blaine immediately knew Kurt would hate. He watched as Sebastian's eyes raked over his body, up and down, that sly grin never leaving his lips, and Blaine shivered. Xavien missed nothing.

"Rule number one, Sebastian. Behave," Xavien reminded with warning and Sebastian shrugged innocently.

"Come on," Sebastian said grabbing Blaine's hand and pulling him out into the living room, his eyebrows wagging suggestively. "Let's go find your bed."

"Sebastian," Xavien yelled one more time in warning but Sebastian ignored him.

"Don't worry about Xavien there, he's cool," Sebastian said.

"He's not the one I'm worried about," Blaine mumbled, side-eyeing Sebastian. The other boy just laughed proudly as he led Blaine up the stairs and to the left down a small hallway. It led to a large bedroom with one bunk bed and two singles. Sebastian jumped on one of the two singles, wedged in a corner, and leaned himself against the wall in a surely practiced smooth maneuver.

"Here's your room," Sebastian presented. "And this is your bed," he finished patting a spot next to him. Blaine could hear the rest of the boy's sentence in his head.  _Why don't you come join me?_  Blaine rolled his eyes and looked around. The room was clean and lived in. His roommates, none of whom were currently there, had pictures up on the wall of family and friends, but also magazine pictures of actors and musicians and athletes they admired. The top bunk had pictures of male and female singers while the bottom bunk had pictures of male athletes. The other single had pictures of television and movie stars, mostly male with a few women also on the wall. Blaine was pleased to notice that in all respects, his tastes meshed pretty well with his roommates and he had hope that this situation may not be so bad.

That was, except for Sebastian eyeing him on his bed. Blaine felt both intrigued and uncomfortable with the way Sebastian looked at him as if he were candy, ready to devour. Kurt had never looked at him like that. Kurt was sweet and romantic and looked at him with adoration and love, not pure lust. Blaine's heart skipped a beat, but he couldn't decide if it was a good or a bad thing.

"Do you sing?" Sebastian asked.

The sound drew Blaine out of his revelry but he'd missed the words. "What?" he blinked.

Sebastian laughed. He loved the affect he had on people, it was like a natural high. He smiled with amusement up at Blaine. "I asked if you sing."

"Oh, um, yeah, I actually do," Blaine stammered. "Why do you ask?"

Sebastian sat up, his interest in Blaine for the first time going beneath the surface. "I lead the show choir at Sidney High School. Broadway Buzz," Sebastian made a face. "Horrible name, I know. Horrible choir too. Not really, but we've been struggling for years to make it past sectionals. Between New Directions and Vocal Adrenaline, we just don't have a chance."

Blaine smiled proudly at the mention of Kurt's choir, and Sebastian raised a questioning eyebrow. The boy missed nothing. "My boyfriend's in New Directions," Blaine explained. "I lead the Warblers at Dalton Academy." His face grew sad. "Before, I mean."

But Sebastian's face lit up. "Damn! I knew you looked familiar! You sing like a dream! You and me together, we could make it to Regionals. Nationals even!"

Blaine shook his head. "Sorry. I'm going to do everything I can to go to McKinley with Kurt."

Sebastian frowned, then stood up , hands on his hips. "I see. Well, it was nice meeting you Blaine Anderson. Welcome to Sidney."

* * *

Blaine remembered the hallways of McKinley High School from the tour he'd been given on the Night of Neglect, but knowing that this was now his new home away from home (away from home) made him giddy with nervous excitement and fear. Blaine knew what happened to gays and glee clubbers in these halls, but he had to remember that no one here knew him yet. He should be safe at least for today.

He rounded the corner to Kurt's locker and breathed a sigh of relief as he saw his boyfriend fixing his hair and grabbing his books for first period. Blaine had texted him last night, before handing his phone back in to staff, and lied. He'd told him that school still wasn't decided, he'd gotten there too late to register on time and he'd just be hanging around the program for a few days until things were all set. He hadn't told Kurt that his caseworker Xavien was a wizard, and a damn sexy one at that, and was able to work his magic to get Blaine into McKinley. Not only that, but he'd managed to get permission for Blaine to have his car so he could drive himself to school every day. It had meant another trip to the OFC office, and another brief encounter with his mother before she sped back to her own life without him in a friend's car, but it had been entirely worth it.

Because now Blaine was able to nonchalantly lean against the lockers, hidden behind Kurt's open door, and gently push it closed. Kurt's face first flashed with confusion, then lit up at the sight of his boyfriend, then scrunched in uncertainty again. "Blaine…what are you doing here?" Kurt's voice was filled with hope and excitement but also fear. If Blaine had run away again, everything they were working for would be lost.

Blaine said nothing. Instead, with a grin, he reached into his messenger bag and pulled out his official schedule, handing it to Kurt. "I might need some help finding some of my classes," he beamed.

Kurt slowly took the schedule and looked at it, realization suddenly flooding him. Blaine laughed as Kurt nearly jumped at him, throwing his arms around his shoulders in a breath-stealing embrace without any regard for who may be watching. "Oh my god, Blaine, how?

Blaine wrapped his arm around Kurt's shoulder and led him off in the direction of their homerooms. "Oh Kurt, I have so much to tell you."

* * *

Blaine made a quiet entrance into Glee Club that afternoon. He knew that him being welcomed at a party as Kurt's date over the summer was entirely different than being welcomed as the newest member of New Directions. Especially with how fast gossip spread in this group.

Rachel was the first and only glee club member to run over to him and hug him. "Blaine, I'm so sorry for everything that's happened to you, but I'm so excited you're here. I only wish my Dads and I had been able to take you in. Stupid Ohio laws," she pouted.

Blaine didn't correct her that it was merely policy and bigotry versus actual law that kept him from being able to stay with them, but simply thanked her for her support. "I'm just glad I get to sing with you," he said. Of course, that made her face light up again.

The rest of the choir members eyed him far more warily. He was especially drawn to Mercedes' glare in his direction and Finn's whispers to Puck behind his back. That seemed to be generating an argument until Puck got up and came over to Blaine. "Dude, I've known a bunch of kids who've been where you're at. If you ever need anything, let me know, k?"

Blaine was pleasantly surprised and shook Puck's hand in thanks. Blaine didn't have time to judge anyone else's reactions because Mr. Scheuster came in to start class and to welcome them all back to New Directions.

"We are going to have a great year! Everyone give a warm welcome to our newest addition, Blaine Anderson, formerly lead singer of the Warblers!" Mr. Scheuster led the applause. Rachel, Kurt and Puck were enthusiastic, while the rest of the class took Mercedes' lead and joined in halfheartedly. Kurt noticed and grabbed his hand, squeezing it firmly. It didn't matter what anyone else thought. They were in this together.

"So," Mr. Scheuster continued, "with many of you juniors and seniors and starting to look at or apply for colleges, I realized exactly how important it was for many of you to start having more performance opportunities. On that note, we are going to be holding auditions for a musical this year, co-directed by Ms. Pilsbury, Coach Beiste, and," he said with a twinkly in his eye, "the one and only Artie Abrams!" He looked at Artie. "That is of course if you want to direct Artie."

Artie sat up straight in his chair. "I would be honored Mr. Schue."

"Good," Mr. Schue smiled. "You three will meet and announce the show and auditions next week. In the meantime, let's start our own journey to Nationals!"

* * *

Kurt walked Blaine to his car at the end of the day. "I still can't believe I'm going to be seeing you every day," Kurt said with amazement.

"And Xavien says you can come over anytime you want after school or on the weekends as long as you leave before group at 5." Blaine nearly bounced with excitement.

Kurt smiled. "I can't wait." Blaine wanted to kiss him more than anything, but he knew it wasn't safe here, so he gave him a look filled with enough to love to melt a snowman and squeezed him tightly on the shoulder.

"I love you Kurt, but I have to get back. I'm still working on earning privileges, so I have to be there straight after school."

"Well, let me know when you're finally free and we can go out on a date."

"Will do." Blaine hugged him and slipped into the car, smiling the entire way home.

* * *

Blaine stood waiting in the corner of the visiting room, biting his nails as he watched his father tread up the long walkway to the program entrance. Kurt would kill him for the shape of his nails on Monday, but he couldn't help it. His heart raced and he struggled to breath. He'd been waiting all morning. The staff had tried to get him to engage in today's activities, but he needed to be alone, so he waited in the therapy room, pacing back and forth. Now he waited for Xavien to meet with his Dad before he came in the room.

The visit was supposed to be supervised, but Blaine begged for privacy and the clinician he'd just started to work with finally agreed to Xavien sitting outside the glass wall, where they could see but not hear. After having every text he sent Kurt read and analyzed, he just needed a moment of privacy with his father.

The door opened and his father sat on the couch nearest the door. They watched each other in silence for a moment, Blaine biting his bottom lip. Kurt would yell at him for that too.

Finally, John Anderson broke the uncomfortable silence. "Hey son."

"Hey," Blaine said uneasily as he pressed himself back into the wall.

John smiled softly. "You don't need to stand all the way in the corner, Blaine." He tried to be lighthearted, but the heaviness in the room was impossible to escape. "Why don't you come join me?"

Blaine struggled for breath, feeling constricted, like a weight lay on his chest. So many thoughts had run through his mind over the last month, so many possibilities of what his father could have been thinking. He'd had so many questions he'd been dying to ask, but now they all escaped his mind. All except one. "Do you hate me?"

Blaine's father's face crumbled, and he dropped his head for a moment before forcing his eyes back to his son. "I could never hate you Blaine. I love you. More than anything. I hate myself."

Blaine felt the rush of blood in his veins as once again the air flowed through him. In this moment, it didn't matter what his father had done. It only mattered that he still loved him. Blaine crossed the room and came to sit with the man who had been both his greatest hero and his worst enemy, and he listened as his father continued.

"I hate the things that I did to you. They showed me the pictures." John bowed his head in shame. "The only thing worse than knowing that I did that to you, was knowing that I'd done it before and would have done it again if you hadn't stopped me." John reached out a hand to Blaine, and Blaine took it, his tears threatening to fall. His dad struggled to explain to him his side of the story, his voice breaking with pain, but Blaine simply waited until he was ready again. "I hate that I have thoughts of hurting you and your mom. Those thoughts have always plagued me, the rage envelops me. When I'm sober, there is absolutely no way that I would ever let those thoughts turn into actions. But when I'm drinking, well, you do things you never thought you would."

Blaine thought back to his kiss with Rachel and he squeezed his father's hand. "I understand," he admitted. But it was more than that. He'd had those thoughts as well, the desire to scream, to hurt.

It's why he had taken up boxing, but it scared him to know what else he might be capable of if he were drinking.

At the squeeze of his hand, John Anderson wept. "Blaine, I am so, so sorry for what I did."

His father had never before apologized for hurting him, not once, and Blaine found himself wiping tears from his own cheek. "It's okay," he shrugged.

But Blaine's father shook his head. "No. It's not okay. It was never okay."

They sat in silence, both mulling their thoughts over in their heads. Blaine hadn't known what to expect, but it was never this. He'd expected anger, hate, denial, or blame. Responsibility and regret he couldn't have fathomed in a million years.

Once again, his father broke the silence. "I heard you saw your Mom a few weeks ago."

Blaine scoffed without meaning to. He bristled as he waited for the reprimand, but it didn't come. His father smiled. "Didn't go so well, huh?"

Blaine chuckled sarcastically. "No Sir, not really."

John leaned over and wiped away the rest of his son's tears. "You get your emotions from me," he told Blaine and watched as his son's stoicism returned with his eyes now dry. "And you get your hard shell of protection from her."

Blaine lowered his head, his cheeks reddening with irony. Not seeing his father since the abuse, talking so much about it, worrying himself sick about what his father would think about him now, he hadn't allowed himself to remember all the things he loved about his family and now they came flooding back. His father  _knew_  him. Understood him better than anyone. At least until…

"So how's Kurt?" his father asked with incredible discomfort. John shuffled in his seat, pulling his hand back from Blaine's grasp. "Are you two still…"

"Gay?" Blaine finished for him scornfully.

"Together," Mr. Anderson coughed, "was what I was going to say." He paused as he watched Blaine's face harden again, but that was the last thing he wanted. He gestured to the man outside the door. "They say that they can, um, help me understand…more about…you know…you."

Blaine shrugged noncommittally, trying to hide the emotion that sat plainly on his face. "If you want," he said dismissively.

"None of it's gonna be easy, Blaine. I need to stay sober. I need to figure out how to curb this rage that threatens to hurt you and your mom and just destroys me. It's a viscous circle, you know. I get drunk, and I hurt you or your mom, and when I sober up I feel so guilty that I drink to ignore it all again. It has to stop. And I need…" Blaine didn't miss the breath he took, how hard it was for him to say the next words. "I need to figure out how to deal with this," he said gesturing at Blaine and the program.

The tears rolled down Blaine's cheeks again as he heard hope for the first time in a long time. "I just want to go home," he told his father.

He offered his hand again to Blaine and with no hesitation, he took it. "I'll do what I need to to get you home again Blaine. I won't make promises. I may stumble and fall. I may mess up a lot before I get better. But I'm sure as hell gonna try. Does that sound okay to you?"

Blaine thought about all he had been through. Sixteen years of wanting things better, wanting his parents to just try. Sixteen years of wanting to feel safe and loved all the time, not just some of the time. Three years of wanting them both to accept who he was. He thought of all the promises that he had broken and that others had broken in the past few weeks, and he knew one thing more than anything else. He was sick of promises.

"Trying sounds perfect, Dad."


	7. Pity the Child

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The musical picked is the one that I wanted the show to pick instead of WSS. I love it for them. Listen to the audition song while you read :-)
> 
> A guest asked why Blaine did not go with Mr. Schuester. Mr. Schuester does not really know Blaine, I think they've only met once or twice and he's in the process of figuring out his own life at this point. He probably doesn't know what's going on with Blaine and even if he was aware and the idea did occur to him, he probably figured that bringing a 16 year old boy into his home at that time was not right for either one of them. Can't say I'd disagree with him.
> 
> It is a sad truth, but many people never come forward to take in children who are removed from their homes and placed in the foster care system. Some of the best matches CAN be teachers who have known the children and I've seen at least one beautiful adoption of this nature. So if you're in a position to do so, come forward to foster or to adopt. There are amazing children out there just waiting to give you their love.

The eight staff members at Sidney House went in and out on a rotating schedule and Blaine liked them all, but his favorite remained his caseworker Xavien. Which was a good thing, because as he sat in group counseling Saturday morning trying to talk about "what was on his mind," Xavien and Blaine both knew that the only thing on his mind was that Kurt was coming to visit for the first time that afternoon and Blaine was nearly jumping out of his skin with nerves and excitement. They both also knew that behind those feelings were a whole lot of avoidance of the real issues. Fear of his father's relapse. Anger at his mother's distance.

She'd cancelled on him twice that week. He imagined that she was either too high to be allowed to see him or too busy shopping or working to care, but her excuse didn't matter. Whatever she chose to be more important than seeing her own son hurt just as much as a slap in the face. Maybe even more so.

"Blaine," Xavien called lightly as if it had not been the first time saying his name. "Care to bring those thoughts back to the group? You don't have to talk, but you do have to listen."

"Sorry," Blaine frowned. He glanced around at his peers, most of whom smiled knowingly. Sebastian's smirk made Blaine blush. Keeping a secret in any group home was near hopeless. Keeping a secret in a house full of LGBT teenagers was impossible.

Blaine had been right about his roommates; he got along with them almost immediately. Tyler was female to male transgender and he enjoyed anything there was to enjoy about singing and acting. He had come to Sidney house at 17 after deciding he wanted to start living as a male and begin hormonal treatment as soon as he was an adult. He'd had a hard enough time in foster care and finding a family that would support him through the transition he feared would not be possible. He needed somewhere accepting of him. Sidney House was truly a safe haven for him.

14 year old Nicholas reminded Blaine so much of himself at that age that he instinctually took him under his wing as a big brother. Nicholas was more than happy to let someone take care of him and seemed to really look up to Blaine almost immediately. He'd been bullied at home and at school for being gay and was kicked off of his town's little league team when he came out at 12 years old. Baseball was and remained his passion, and losing it was nearly as devastating as losing his family's love. His behavior had spiraled out of control and he ended up hospitalized when he told the school guidance counselor he wanted to kill himself. Barely old enough for Sidney House, the hospital held off the insurance company until his 14th birthday, and he'd been at the group home now for 2 months.

His last roommate, Cass, was the oldest in the program, nearly 18 years old, bisexual, and hilarious. The boy could turn the frown of any one in the house upside down and frequently did so. When anyone needed to forget their troubles for a moment, Cass was the one they sought. But Blaine heard his tears at night and knew that the humor covered up some terrible secrets. He only hoped that someday he might be able to help Cass find the humor in his own heart again.

Cass wasn't the only one who covered past horror with a laissez faire attitude. Sebastian had been living at Sidney for two years, after being arrested for prostitution at the age of 15 in some of the worst parts of Columbus. Blaine knew that the eyes that so frequently stared at him from across the room fought hard to be predator rather than prey, even when it was inappropriate like now. But Blaine had also come to learn that it was all an act, a wall of protection for Sebastian because no one had ever been there for him. His parents had been prostituting him, he'd had no escape from that life other than arrest. Going to jail had been the best thing that ever happened to Sebastian.

And the fact was, between nightly group therapy, card games and late night jam sessions, the guys and the girls that Blaine lived with were beginning to seem as much like family as friends. Knowing all they'd been through helped Blaine forgive each of them their quirks and idiosyncrasies, whether it was the fierce defensiveness of 15 year old Rebecca who had been bullied by her grandmother since the age of 9 for being different or Sebastian's protective mask of promiscuity. Sometimes he wondered what peculiarities of his own they were learning to forgive him.

The group dragged on, the girls monopolizing the hour with some drama going on in their room that Blaine had managed to so far avoid. It was still early. He'd only been there a week. And he'd had more important things to think about.

Finally the clock hit 11am and the group was dismissed for the day. Many of his housemates headed out to work on Saturdays. Tyler had dance class, then rehearsal for School House Rock at the Historic Sidney Theatre with the Sock & Buskin Community Theater. Blaine hoped that maybe he'd be able to get involved some day, and Tyler promised to bring him to the next set of auditions.

He went upstairs and fixed his hair one more time before Kurt arrived. He heard the doorbell ring and raced downstairs to see Xavien talking with Kurt at the front door. Blaine couldn't hold himself back and he ran to Kurt, wrapping his arms around him. For a moment he hesitated, then looked around and remembered where he was. He caught Xavien looking down at the boys, smiling, and Blaine smiled as well as he leaned in slowly and kissed Kurt's lips without fear.

"I've missed you," Blaine whispered against them.

"You just saw me yesterday at school," Kurt reminded him with a cock-eyed grin.

Blaine leaned in and whispered in Kurt's ear. "I've missed your lips then," he clarified coyly.

Kurt blushed and dipped his head. Blaine laughed as he took Kurt's hand and led him to the couches in the living room.

"What, I don't get the grand tour?" Kurt asked.

Blaine peaked over to Xavien. He knew he wasn't allowed to bring Kurt upstairs to his bedroom, but he wasn't sure about the rest of the house. "You can show him around downstairs, but leave the door to the therapy room shut."

Blaine nodded and linked his fingers tightly with Kurt's. He showed Kurt the kitchen, the library many of the kids had visits with their parents in, and the playground and garden that was put outside to remind them that despite everything it was still safe to be a kid. Swinging on a swing next to Blaine, Kurt commented, as Blaine knew he would, on his handsome case manager. "So, the man that opened the door?" he asked with an eyebrow raise.

Blaine laughed. "Xavien, my case manager. He's the one I talk to about things and go to when I need something."

"Pretty easy on the eyes," Kurt commented with a smirk.

"Not as pretty as you," Blaine cooed, taking a moment of privacy to pull Kurt off the swing and onto his lap, kissing him passionately.

Kurt reluctantly pulled away only to breath, with a blush and a satisfied look on his face. Blaine smiled sheepishly and took his hand again and guided Kurt back inside. "This is the first home I ever took you to," Blaine suddenly remarked.

Kurt squeezed his hand sadly. "I'm sorry it had to be this way." He had wanted to meet Blaine's parents before he knew the truth. Now he wasn't sure.

Blaine led him back to the living room where they sat together on the couch, Blaine snuggling in Kurt's arms. "They weren't all bad," Blaine shared softly. "My Mom and Dad, I mean. Mom's anxiety gets so bad sometimes she just lashes out. It was easier, I imagine, to take it out on me instead of him. And Dad…" he paused. There was so much pain, but he didn't want Kurt to hate them. He wanted Kurt to someday be able to love them like he did. "Beer and anger just don't mix with him. When he's angry but sober, he's fine. When he's drunk but happy he's good too. But when my mom or me, or anyone really, makes him angry while he's drinking, he loses control." His mind quickly flash backed to the worst times. "I knew that, and I'd still do things to make him mad," Blaine explained with shame.

Kurt held him even more tightly than before and kissed the top of his head. "That wasn't your fault Blaine," he said firmly. "Nothing that happened was your fault."

Blaine tried to believe it but he knew it wasn't true. "I'd instigate him Kurt," Blaine added with a desperation that he didn't even understand himself. "I'd know that and I'd do it anyway."

"Why would you do that?" Kurt asked carefully.

His eyes shifted, resting finally on Xavien. "I don't know," he whispered. But Xavien knew. Xavien knew and was helping Blaine to understand.

"Hey Blaine!" came a smooth drawl. Blaine sat up quickly to see Sebastian had strode into the room from upstairs. Blaine's instinct was to keep the boy from talking but he wasn't able to intercede in time. "I missed you in my bed last night," Sebastian crooned with an amused smirk. "It was so cold and lonely without you." His twinkly eyes betrayed his pout.

Blaine's gaze quickly flitted to Kurt, horrified, and then back again. "Shut up Sebastian," he urged and turned to Kurt red faced. "He's just joking," Blaine tried to assure him. "Badly," he growled at Sebastian.

But Sebastian was not easily deterred. "So this must be the boyfriend?" His gaze fell on Kurt as they examined each other intently. "Blaine misses you dearly, but don't worry. I've been keeping him satisfied while you're not around."

"Get the hell out of here Sebastian," Blaine yelled before Kurt exploded, throwing the pillow at the boy. Sebastian tossed it back and laughed as he disappeared back up the stairs. Blaine turned desperately back to Kurt. "You have to believe me that none of that is true," he blurted quickly.

"I don't like that guy," Kurt said immediately, fuming.

"I know Kurt, but he's not that bad, honestly, once you get to know him." Blaine wasn't sure where the need to defend Sebastian came from, but he knew what he said was true.

Kurt though disagreed emphatically. "Not that bad?" Kurt snorted incredulous. "He's clearly got issues just from the way he treated you and, well, he's messed up enough to be here, isn't he?"

Silence fell over the room as Kurt's words hit Blaine like a knife. "Is that what you think?" Blaine breathed through his clenched chest. "That the kids here all have something wrong with them?" He searched Kurt's eyes, not even sure what he was looking for in them. He shifted backwards away from his boyfriend, too hurt to be touching him right now. "Well what's wrong with me then, Kurt?"

"That's not what I meant Blaine," Kurt whispered, but Blaine barely heard him his mind was racing so much.

"You just got through telling me that it's not my fault then suddenly there's something wrong with me?" Telling himself that was one thing. Hearing Kurt say it was entirely different.

"Nothing Blaine, there's nothing wrong with you!" Kurt pressed as he reached for Blaine's hand. "I didn't mean it like that."

Blaine pulled his hand away. "I think…" He got up, forcing even more distance between them. Kurt rose and stepped in but Blaine raised a hand to stop him, avoiding eye contact. "I think I need some space right now. I think I need you to go."

"Blaine, don't do this," Kurt cried desperately.

"I'll see you in school on Monday," Blaine muttered brokenly through the tears he forced back before darting out of the room.

Kurt considered going after him, then turned around, lost and unsure. His gaze fell on Xavien's, warm eyes and a sympathetic smile on the man's face as he opened the front door for Kurt. Kurt looked back one more time, hoping Blaine had decided to try again, but the living room remained empty. He grabbed his things and sighed. "I'll talk to him," Xavien promised Kurt as he headed out the door.

Kurt simply nodded as he left in a daze, not knowing at all how the visit had started so well and gone so badly so quickly.

Xavien didn't have to search far to find Blaine. Curled up in the egg chair in the therapy room, Blaine looked up when his caseworker walked in, relieved he was here where help was always available whenever he needed it. Blaine grimaced with embarrassment and need and Xavien smiled with understanding, softly closing the door behind them.

* * *

Blaine avoided Kurt on Monday morning. He wasn't angry anymore. Xavien had calmed him down shortly after Kurt left. But he was still incredibly hurt. His own insecurities and fears that there was something, in fact, very wrong with him were always assuaged by Kurt, who thought he was perfect. But if Kurt could see the damage inside Blaine, if he looked at Blaine with disdain or even sympathy, how could Blaine live with that?

Unfortunately, avoiding Kurt required taking the long way to class, which meant going around the building outside instead of through the hallways. As he passed by the bleachers on the football field, he barely recognized the girl with the pink hair, grunge clothing and a cigarette before he realized it was Quinn Fabray. She looked completely different from the sweet blonde cheerleader he'd met at Rachel's party last year.

But Quinn only watched him carefully as another girl approached him. "Hey Anderson," called an African-American girl dressed in a dark hoodie who was hanging out with Quinn. "Come on over here. What up?"

Blaine was startled and taken aback that this girl not only knew his name but wanted him to come over. Something told him to keep walking but his curiosity got the best of him and he politely declined the cigarette she offered him as he approached.

"Name's Sheila," the girl told him and he glanced over to Quinn questioningly. Quinn though paid him no mind as she hung back with another girl.

"What office you from?" Sheila asked him, taking a drag on her cigarette and blowing the smoke absentmindedly in his face.

"Excuse me?" Blaine asked confused. He waved the smoke out of his face and coughed.

"OFC office? Whose your social worker? I ain't seen you in Allen County, but you's in Sidney house, ain't you?" she asked.

Blaine glanced around, not sure how this girl knew that or what she would think about it. "I'm sorry," he said politely fiddling with the strap on his messenger bag. "But I have to get to class."

She linked one finger around the strap though and pulled him toward her. "Foster kids gotta stick together, Anderson. This system doesn't give a rat's ass about us, all we got is each other. Quinn here tells me you used to be a little rich boy before. Well it don't matter where you were from boy, you're one of us now. Don't forget it."

Blaine's heart beat fast in his chest as she let him go. He backed away then walked quickly to class, absolutely stunned and speechless.

* * *

"The musical we have chosen to do this year is…dah dah dah dah!" Artie teased with a flourish. "Chess!"

Three cheers erupted from the choir room as Rachel, Kurt and Blaine immediately started talking and planning, while the rest of the room sat dumbfounded. Blaine had been right, the second it was time to announce the musical, he and Kurt had forgotten about their fight two days ago.

"Um, what the hell is Chess?" Santana asked with annoyance. She'd been hoping for a show like West Side Story where she could shine.

Rachel stood up, cleared her throat and began lecturing, occasionally glancing over to Kurt and Blaine clapping softly and bouncing in their seats. For a second she forgot what she was doing as it hit her how nice it was to see Blaine happy again. But then numerous sets of grumpy eyes registered and she began explaining. "Chess is written by Tim Rice, who wrote Jesus Christ Superstar and of course one of my favorite musicals of all time, Evita…" she started

"And the music is written by members of ABBA!" Blaine interjected.

"Yes," Rachel continued, rolling her eyes, "and the music is written by members of ABBA. Anyway, it's about two chess players, an American champion, Freddie, and a Russian champion, Anatoly, and the woman who loves them both, Me!" she blurted accidentally, then looked sheepishly around, "uh, I mean, Florence. Anyway," she recovered, "the two come together to compete against each other."

Ms. Pillsbury stepped forward. "And there is a lot to learn in the story too, about the history of America and the USSR during communism." She tried to make it sound as exciting to them as it had been to Will when she'd discussed the choice with him.

"In the end," Mr. Scheuster added, "it's the music that really makes this show incredible and we are going to show off our talent to full houses."

"And there are some great roles," Coach Beiste assured them "There's a Russian KGB agent, there's the Aribiter who runs the whole show, and there's Anatoly's wife Svetlana, hard on the outside but soft on the inside."

"In short guys," Artie told them, "It's going to be fantastic. Auditions start tomorrow, sign up on the board. I hope you'll all come!"

* * *

Blaine left school early the next day, missing Kurt's audition and skipping Glee as he drove with James all the way to the Columbus OFC office only to wait while minute after minute passed without his mother showing up. He wouldn't let James take him home until the office closed at 5pm, still hoping that even if she was late she'd show up.

But she didn't.

He was silent and sullen during group, not wanting to talk about it, and escaped to his bed as soon as he could. His housemates knew enough to give him his space. Xavien let him have his phone in his room. He called Kurt, any leftover hurt feelings forgotten, as his tears soaked the pillow. Kurt gently soothed him over the phone until Blaine finally cried himself to sleep.

* * *

Blaine stood backstage, uneasy for more reasons than one. Though he was a powerful performer, confident and rehearsed, the words told his story, and that was terrifying. He knew that Ms. Pillsbury and Coach Beiste and Artie were judging him and he couldn't help but feel just a tiny bit that a rejection of him in the role would be a rejection of himself and his experience. He knew that they were all aware he'd been removed from his home and placed in foster care and his shame at that, not to mention the fear of other people's reactions, still ran strongly inside him.

"Blaine Anderson?"

Blaine heard Artie call his name and he stepped out nervously onto the stage. "Greetings," he smiled shyly, trying to pull himself together.

"Greetings," Artie smiled back at him speaking through the microphone at the tech table. "Um, what song will you be singing today?"

"Uh, Pity The Child," he said attempting confidence. He was glad the stage lights were on and he could barely see the audience. If Kurt, or anyone else, was out there, he didn't want to know.

He turned around as the music started and he rubbed his hands together, eyes closed, focusing. He said a quick prayer and lost himself in the beautiful music of Chess and the role of Freddie, the American.

_When I was nine I learned survival_   
_Taught myself not to care_   
_I was my single good companion_   
_Taking my comfort there_   
_Up in my room I planned my conquests_   
_On my own - never asked for a helping hand_   
_No one would understand_   
_I never asked the pair who fought below_   
_Just in case they said no_

Kurt slipped quietly into the auditorium in the house left spot platform. He didn't want to make Blaine any more nervous than he already was, but he needed to be there, to support Blaine, to love him. He was so proud, but when he heard the song Blaine had chosen, his heart beat wildly in his chest. So close to home. Would it hurt him or help him?

_Pity the child who has ambition_   
_Knows what he wants to do_   
_Knows that he'll never fit the system_   
_Others expect him to_   
_Pity the child who knew his parents_   
_Saw their faults_   
_Saw their love die before his eyes_   
_Pity the child that wise_   
_He never asked "Did I cause your distress?"_

_Just in case they said yes_

Blaine remembered back to all the fights downstairs; the screaming, the crashing of glasses and anything else that could be thrown at one another. He remembered the sound of skin on skin as he prayed that neither one would come upstairs after him. And he remembered as he grew older how he'd seek it out just to keep his father from seriously hurting his mother.

_When I was twelve my father moved out_   
_Left with a whimper - not with a shout_   
_I didn't miss him - he made it perfectly clear_   
_I was a fool and probably queer_

Blaine's story and his character's may have been different, but when Blaine came out at 12 years old his father may as well have left. The distance between them had grown vast, and Blaine nearly welcomed it. Though every once in a while he sought out the attention he could get. Some of those evenings were magical. Some, instead, were dreadful.

_Fool that I was I thought this would bring_   
_Those he had left closer together_   
_She made her move the moment he crawled away_   
_I was the last the woman told_   
_She never let her bed get cold_   
_Someone moved in - I shut my door_   
_Someone to treat her just the same way as before_

As he sang, Blaine knew that others had filed into the auditorium. He sensed Kurt up above him for certain, but he thought others were there as well. And he felt standing beside him his new family back at Sidney House whose stories were reflected in the lyrics that didn't hit home. He sang for himself and all of them.

_I took the road of least resistance_   
_I had my game to play_   
_I had the skill, and more - the hunger_   
_Easy to get away_

Kurt watched, the weight of Blaine's pain weighing heavily on his heart as Blaine looked up at him, anger and determination in his eyes.  _Don't be so quick to judge_ , Blaine had told him.  _You never know someone else's story._

_Pity the child with no such weapons_   
_No defense, no escape from the ties that bind_   
_Always a step behind_   
_I never called to tell her all I'd done_   
_I was only her son!_

And no one knew Blaine's story, not truly. He didn't want pity. He didn't need it. He'd find his way, he had to, whether his mother or father made it or not. His father could relapse. His mother could not show up a hundred times, but he was done letting it matter. He had a choice to make now, just like Sebastian had made years ago. He could care about everything. Or he could care only about himself.

_Pity the child but not forever_   
_Not if he stays that way_   
_He can get all he ever wanted_   
_If he's prepared to pay_   
_Pity instead the careless mother_   
_What she missed_   
_What she lost when she let me go_   
_And I wonder does she know_   
_I wouldn't call - a crazy thing to do_   
_Just in case she said who?_

Kurt held his breath, tears rolling down his eyes as Blaine's words struck him. His heart ached for Blaine's loss, wondering for the millionth time if he had done the right thing. He tried to pity Blaine's mother and father for what they had done, but he couldn't. He had no idea how anyone could hurt the dearest, sweetest and most loving boy that he had ever met. Wiping away the tears, he watched as Blaine let go of the character and turned back into himself. But Kurt was scared to see a Blaine slightly hardened. He raced down to meet him in the wings.

The spotlight went off and Blaine could see them in the auditorium. Coach Beiste was wiping away tears and Miss Pillsbury looked invigorated. Others waited by the doors, pulled into the room then stunned by Blaine's performance.

"I so want to give you a standing ovation right now!" Artie cheered.

"Thank you," Blaine responded, dismissing himself from the stage while his new found armor lay heavily upon him. As his eyes adjusted a hand reached out and grabbed his own, pulling him into strong arms and a firm, delicious kiss. Blaine lost himself in it, then felt the tension fall away with the tears that fell from his eyes. Kurt breathed a sigh of relief. The hardness was protection, but it wasn't Blaine. Blaine was vulnerable and emotional and Kurt wanted him to stay that way.

Blaine pulled away so as not to shed tears all over Kurt's face, but he kept their foreheads together. "I think I know why I did it now Kurt," he said, feeling his sobs starting all over again. "You were right. I am there for a reason. I'm there because something is wrong with me." Kurt shook his head no emphatically but Blaine looked him straight in the eye. "Yes. And I need them Kurt. I need Xavien and Sebastian and Tyler and Rebecca, I need them all to teach me how to get through this." He hadn't liked how this had all started but he knew it was the best thing for him now. "Tell Burt not to go forward with the home study. I love you and I love your Dad, but right now, I'm exactly where I belong."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pity The Child, from Chess the Musical
> 
> I do not own Glee or Chess


	8. Exactly Where I Belong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While I was writing this story, I was told that my writing is too angsty and too depressing for most people to want to read it. So this chapter is dedicated to all my WONDERFUL readers out there who have the courage to read what real life is like for way too many kids out there. It is their voices I use and their stories I tell and if their chance at happy endings is too unfulfilling because of the pain they have suffered, well, just imagine being them. So to all of you, I love you. My readers are the BEST readers out there in the Klaine fandom because you care enough to hope and dream that out of pain can come happiness and fulfillment. Thank you for reading with your eyes open!

"Tell Burt not to go forward with the home study," Blaine told Kurt. The words of the song continued to ring through him, but it wasn't only that. It was Kurt's words at the program. It was his conversation with Sheila under the bleachers. It was Sebastian's history. It was Tyler's struggles as a transgender boy in foster care and Rebecca's rejection from her family because she was gay. He needed to be there for them, but even more, he needed them to be there for him. Because no matter how much Kurt had understood him better than anyone before, the eleven other people he lived with understood him better now than Kurt ever could. They'd sat in the office, waiting for someone to care for them, waiting for someone to love them. They'd had their heart torn in two when no one showed. Blaine didn't know how to deal with it, but they did. And though Kurt wouldn't understand, Blaine had to do this now for himself. "I love you and I love your Dad, but right now, I'm exactly where I belong." He chose his words carefully, trying not to hurt his boyfriend, but he knew it would be nearly impossible.

Kurt couldn't believe his ears. And he couldn't help but grow angry. His father and Carole had already done so much to have Blaine come live with them. They'd endured hours of visits from the social workers where they answered personal questions about their own childhood, their own educations and their own medical histories. They had revealed and defended parenting choices they had made with Kurt and Finn. Carole opened up old wounds about her history with Finn's father and her struggles being a single mother. Burt had discussed, far more than he cared to, raising a gay child and Kurt's coming out. The way Burt handled the bullying Kurt's sophomore and junior years was judged and criticized. It was exactly as if the family was being vetted not only by the public for a congressional seat, but for whether or not they had done well enough the first time around to be parents again. Kurt had heard them whispering in the night about whether it was worth it. They always decided it was, but the decision had never been an easy one.

And now Blaine was saying it had all been for nothing. He was throwing it away in favor of staying with Sebastian and Xavien and the other kids who didn't love him, knew nothing about him, and couldn't be the family for him that Kurt knew he needed. Kurt felt betrayed and confused.

"Blaine," he tried to stay calm but he had always been quick to anger and it was difficult to hold back. "What the hell are you talking about? Do you know how much work we have put into this? Do you know how much we have fought for you?"

Blaine knew Kurt would be mad and he understood it, but Kurt needed to understand him. "I do Kurt, and I appreciate all that. I do. But this isn't about you. This is about me and what I need right now. And I need to be with people who understand everything that I am going through."

Kurt gasped, anger turning quickly to hurt and he turned away from Blaine, attempting to get his breath. But he couldn't hold back and he spun around on his heels full circle. "You think I don't understand?" Kurt yelled.

Blaine began to explain but the two were interrupted by Rachel, Artie and Emma coming backstage. Kurt and Blaine shut down, and turned away from one another. The threesome didn't seem to notice the tension between the boys.

"Oh my god Blaine," Rachel gushed, rushing over to hug him. "That was the most beautiful performance I have ever seen."

As she pulled away Blaine saw the tears shining in her eyes and he smiled softly at her. "Thank you, Rachel, that means a lot."

"I absolutely cannot wait to act with you," she declared excitedly grabbing his hand. Then she grabbed Kurt's and pulled them together. "With both of you."

"Cast lists aren't up yet," Artie reminded her with a wag of the finger.

"Oh I know," she said with a wink. "But I also know who was amazing and it's the three of us, no question."

"You didn't even see my audition," Kurt reminded her matter-of-factly.

"No need whatsoever," Rachel beamed waving away Kurt's eye roll. "These guys would be fools not to cast us."

Blaine smiled at Kurt, harsh words forgotten for only a second and then remembered. His smile faded, but their eyes remained locked. "Hey, um, guys," Blaine stuttered. "I hate to break up this love fest and casting couch moment, but I need to get back home." His eyes softened on the word home and Kurt pursed his lips.

Rachel kissed him again on the cheek and Emma stepped toward him. "If you need anything Blaine, my door is always open. I mean that."

"Thanks Ms. Pillsbury," Blaine said warmly. He turned back to Kurt. "Walk me out?" he asked softly.

Kurt nodded curtly and the two left the auditorium, though the remaining tension kept them from touching. It wasn't until they were outside the building and had reached Blaine's car that either of them spoke. "Please don't be angry with me," Blaine implored.

"I'll get over it," Kurt shrugged noncommittally.

Blaine grasped Kurt's hands, not caring at all who was around, and he poured out every ounce of love he held inside him. "Kurt, you are my best friend and the person I trust most in the entire world. But it doesn't mean that you're going to understand everything that I'm going through, and that's okay. My needing help from other people doesn't mean that I need you less. It means I need you more. I need you to be you and to not try to be my everything because someday, I am going to want to let go of all this. And I don't want that to mean letting go of you." Tears shined in his eyes and were mirrored in Kurt's, who let go of a hand to wipe his own cheek dry. Blaine smiled. "I love you. And I'm going to come over to have dinner with you and your Dad and Finn and Carole and explain all this to them and thank them for everything that they were willing to do for me. God, Kurt, it means so much to me how much your family is willing to do for me. Don't ever think I don't appreciate it. Okay?"

Kurt nodded, unable to get words out amidst the tears now streaming down his face. But he managed a smile up at Blaine and a whispered, "Okay."

"Are we okay?" Blaine asked hesitantly and hopefully. He pulled out a handkerchief and placed it in Kurt's hand.

Kurt sniffed and laughed, wiping his eyes and his nose. "Yeah," he assured Blaine. "We're more than okay. Always and forever," he promised.

Blaine pulled Kurt into a tight embrace, relief and love nearly overwhelming him. "Always and forever," he whispered.

The long drive back to Sidney House gave Blaine the time he needed to pull himself together. As he drove into the suburban neighborhood, he thought about how he had called this place home earlier in the day. It wasn't quite there yet, but like Dalton before it, Sidney House was indeed feeling like a home to him, a place where he belonged, where someone was always there when he needed them. It felt safe.

That was until he pulled into the driveway to a familiar car. Two familiar cars actually. He recognized the blue Ford Taurus belonging to his social worker James. The black Audi belonged to his Dad.

In the midst of the excitement of auditions and then the fight with Kurt, he had completely forgotten that he had a visit scheduled today with his father. Perhaps he'd forgotten purposefully, just in case his father had decided not to show like his mother three times before. He threw the car into park and grabbed his messenger bag, taking deep breaths as he walked up the stairs and opened the door.

His father, Xavien, and James were sitting in the office talking. His Dad turned to see him as he shut the door behind him and smiled. "Hey, look who's here!" Mr. Anderson called cheerfully.

The first thing Blaine noticed was how well his father looked. His eyes were clear, not bloodshot and cloudy like he was so used to. His skin was shining with a healthy glow. And his jet black hair was smooth as silk, not oily and grimy. To Blaine it meant that his father was home, back at work and most importantly, clean and sober.

"Sorry I'm late," Blaine said as he put his coat away in the closet and hitched his bag back over his shoulder. He was worried about how his father would react, both to his being late and his excuse, but with Xavien and James both there, he knew he was safe. "I had an audition at school and completely forgot about our meeting."

"You need to put your appointments in your book or your phone Blaine, so you aren't late. Being on time is a sign of respect," his father reprimanded.

Blaine sighed. "Yes Sir," he answered. He wasn't afraid, his father had never hurt him when he was sober. But he always hated disappointing him. Blaine had a need to prove to him that he could be responsible despite the many choices he made that his father disapproved of.

Xavien and James both watched the exchange and waited, but Mr. Anderson said nothing further. So Xavien did. "How did the audition go Blaine?" He and Blaine had talked about the song choice last night in his session and he hoped Blaine might want to sing for the whole group tonight and maybe get him to finally open up about his mother.

"It went really great," Blaine said but Xavien could see the lack of enthusiasm.

"Well, why don't you three head into the visiting room," Xavien suggested. "Or the kitchen if you're hungry Blaine, I think there are fresh baked cookies in there from Beth."

The first real grin since Blaine had come home exploded on Blaine's face. Beth was a favorite staff member in the house, and not only because she baked the best cookies in the world. But he didn't want to risk any of the other kids interrupting their meeting. "Why don't I grab some cookies and I'll meet you guys in the visiting room, okay?" he asked.

James agreed and took John Anderson to the room off to the left of the living room. Blaine ran his bag upstairs to his room to find Cass rocking out the top bunk, white ear plugs dangling from his ears as the music from his iPod blasted loud enough for Blaine to hear.

Blaine shook his head and smirked at him. "You're going to kill your ears dude," he said.

Cass squinted and ripped one plug out of his ear. "What?"

Blaine laughed. "I said you are going to kill your ears blasting that thing so loud."

The goofy but cool boy tossed the IPod down on his bed and jumped from the top bunk on to the floor. He watched for a minute with an amused grin as Blaine pulled his phone out of his bag and flopped on his bed typing out a text. "Um, isn't your Dad downstairs waiting for you?" he quirked an eyebrow in question.

"Yeah, well, I waited 16 years for him, he can wait five minutes for me," Blaine grumbled as he typed.

Cass leaned against the wall, his arms crossed. "And what is so important that you're keeping your Dad waiting? Or are you just stalling." he asked.

Blaine collapsed onto his pillow. "Apologizing to Kurt," he pouted.

Cass' smile faded and he curled up next to Blaine, trying to sneak a peek at his phone. "What did you do?"

Blaine hesitated a moment, putting the phone down as he waited for the familiar buzz. "We got into a fight today."

"I didn't think that was even possible," Cass joked.

"Yeah, well, it's possible when I tell him that I don't want to move in with him anymore because he doesn't understand me like you guys do," Blaine admitted.

Cass snorted as he shook his head. "You're an idiot Blaine," he said warmly.

"Well thank you," Blaine said with a smirk. "Thank you very much. With friends like you I could just go downstairs and be insulted more by my father."

Cass pushed him. "Good. Then go. Turn in your cell phone to Xavien before you get in trouble and we'll worry about Kurt later. I'm sure he'll forgive you tomorrow as soon as your plump little lips start nipping at his freakishly soft gossamer skin…"

"Oh my god," Blaine said jumping out of the bed. "Please tell me you don't think about me and Kurt."

"All the freaking time, gorgeous," Cass teased and he nodded up to the pictures that surrounded Blaine's bed. "I mean, have you seen the two of you together?"

Blaine started to say something then thought better of it and walked out the door. He handed in his cell phone and grabbed some cookies, trying desperately to concentrate on Cass' incessant cackling instead of imagining Kurt shivering beneath him as Blaine nibbled on his ear.

Sitting across from his father, James between them at the head of the table, made all thoughts of Kurt vanish from Blaine's mind. He held the document in his hand that detailed the steps his parents needed to take in order for him to be able to come home. Blaine and his father both read the front page, each cringing in their own way as their secrets were laid out bare for the world to see. Blaine abused, beaten, injuries documented. Mr. Anderson abusing alcohol and marijuana. Mrs. Anderson abusing prescription pain medication. Domestic violence. Multiple police responses to the home. Blaine was a witness and lied for them, taking them blame at times. Both parents failed to protect.

James was speaking but Blaine didn't hear. The rush of his blood echoed in his head as everything he'd worked so hard to hide was exposed and the memories came rushing back. He felt exposed and he knew his mother did as well. That's why she wasn't here. That's why she wouldn't see him. He had done this. Kurt may have been the one to call but he could have kept lying. It was his choices that had led them where they were today.

"Blaine?" James called, placing a hand on his, and it snapped him out of his thoughts.

"I'm sorry, what?" Blaine blinked. His face reddened with embarrassment and he refused to meet his father's eyes knowing that once again they would be full of disappointment.

"We were talking about the things that your father has been doing in order to make things better for you and your family," James explained. "We both thought you were old enough and that it was important for you to know what is expected of him and what he's working on."

"Yeah, okay," Blaine responded quietly and he flipped the page.

He listened as James and his father talked about his substance abuse treatment and batterer's program. He heard them talk about visiting with Blaine, supervised on a weekly basis for a few weeks and then if everyone felt comfortable, they could start going out in the community, to dinner or to bowling. Blaine remembered doing those things with his parents on the good days and he and his Dad had always had a good time. It was nice to think that they might be able to do it again soon. He hoped Kurt could come along as well. As they talked he kept reading. His father was to take a parenting class to learn new discipline techniques and he was not to use physical discipline with Blaine at any time. He knew as long as his Dad stayed sober that it wouldn't be an issue. His father loved him, it was the alcohol that hated him. Unlike his mother. He kept reading and…

"Wait," he said, looking up at both men in shock. "This says that you and Mom can't live together?"

"Things between your Mom and Dad get very volatile very quickly, Blaine. If your parents want you to come home, they need to make sure it's to a safe house and their being together is not safe," James explained.

Blaine looked at his Dad angrily. "You're just going to let them do this?" He yelled. He was suddenly furious. It was one thing for them to be told they had to do counseling or programs or visits. But to have them decide on the very definition of his family? It wasn't fair and it wasn't right. "You're going to let them tear our family apart? Is this why Mom hasn't come to see me? Because I tore our family apart?"

"No Blaine," John said trying to calm his son. "Blaine, I hate it as much as you do, but this is what we need to do."

"We? So we need to kick Mom out of the house?" He bolted out of his seat and paced, his emotions running away with him. "Where is she going to go exactly? You attack her and you attack me and she's the one that has to leave?" he shouted. "I protected her!" He turned to his social worker, tears blurring his eyes but the words poured out and he couldn't stop them if he tried. "For years, I protected her, James! I'd get in the middle, I'd instigate him, so he'd turn his attacks on me instead of her and now I'm supposed to just let her be kicked to the curb? I'm just supposed to completely abandon her?"

James watched them but it was his father that stood to answer, hands on the table as he faced his son. "She's abandoned you Blaine! She hasn't even come to visit you! Do you know why? Do you think it's because she blames you, because she doesn't. She blames me for everything Blaine! She blames me and she blames herself and that's why while I've been busy getting sober and trying to get you back, she's been busy getting high and fighting with me and doing nothing that she needs to do! I know she hurt you at the visit," John said.

"No," Blaine cried, his hand immediately flying to the wrist she had twisted. He rubbed at it unconsciously, as he tried to sort it all out in his mind. He couldn't even remember the truth of what had happened at home anymore. His father had hurt him, yes, but had his mother? She was just overwhelmed and scared and if she sometimes took it all out on him, well, she didn't mean it, and he was a man, he could take it. And at the visit she just grabbed him too hard. He had been rude and had deserved it, hadn't he? Maybe that was why she didn't come back to see him. It was suddenly all confused in his mind. "No, she wouldn't hurt me," he insisted as he stormed out the visiting room door.

Blinded by tears, Blaine couldn't even see where he was going, but that was the beauty of Sidney House. Sebastian and Cass sat merely feet outside the door in the living room waiting for Blaine to emerge. And when he did, so lost in his own world he didn't even know which way to turn, his friends were there to catch him. Cass draped an arm around Blaine's shoulder and brought him to the therapy room, holding him as Blaine, for the first time since he had arrived, cried everything out. Sebastian went to the front office and let Xavien know that Blaine needed him. Within seconds of falling apart, Blaine was in safe, knowledgeable hands that could help him work through his thoughts and feelings without running or hurting himself or anyone else.

And tomorrow he would be ready to face another day.


	9. Family

Kurt paced angrily back and forth as he watched his father work head deep in the hood of a 2003 Volkswagen, the familiar smells of gasoline and oil and clanking of metal on metal filling his senses. "I don't want him in that place anymore, Dad. He thinks it's what's best for him, but it's not. He thinks it's what he needs, but it's not." He stopped and turned to his Dad. "We're what he needs! We're his family!"

Burt stood up and wiped his hands on a cloth as he looked at his son, face red from tears and anger. "There's a lot of different types of families, Kurt," Burt told him calmly. "Blaine was always safer and more at home at Dalton than he was in his own traditional family. Maybe he's needing something closer to that right now."

Kurt shook his head. He'd let things go with Blaine that afternoon. He didn't want to be someone who turned on him. He needed Blaine to know he'd always be there for him. But he couldn't hide from his Dad how much Blaine's words hurt.

"How could he think I don't understand?" he asked, anger and pain causing his voice to shake as the tears started to fall again. "I lost Mom years ago, and there is no chance that she is ever coming back. There are no second chances for me. I've been called names and beat up my whole life. I was forced to leave my school, the people I loved…" His tears overwhelmed him and Burt gathered his son into his arms.

"And remember, you thought you were alone in all that too, that no one could possibly understand," Burt soothed into his ear. "Until you met Blaine and found someone who'd been through the same things, just like you." Kurt sniffled and wiped his eyes as his father placed his hands on Kurt's shoulders, looking him in the eye. "Now you know different. That there were others who understood and could help. Blaine just needs to figure that out too."

"I'm so afraid of losing him," Kurt whispered.

"Just give him time," Burt assured him. "You're not going to lose him."

"It just kills me to see him there. He needs to be surrounded by love, not strangers."

Burt's heart broke for his son, but he wasn't so sure that Blaine was wrong right now. Still, he wanted to do what was best. "Blaine is an easy kid to fall in love with. Don't underestimate the people at Sidney House. Still, I'll talk to James. See what I can find out."

"Thank you Dad." Kurt embraced him again. "I love you so much."

"I love you too, son," he said, then he had an idea. "Invite Blaine to Friday night dinner. More than anything he needs to know that he always has a home here whenever he wants it, whether it's for a couple of hours, or the rest of his life."

Kurt smiled. "I will. And hopefully he'll see that he belongs here."

* * *

When the final bell rang, Blaine gathered with the others at the bulletin board waiting for Artie to post the Chess cast list. He barely heard Rachel as she chattered on about how amazing the show was going to be with the two of them starring. Blaine's focus was only on the hallway where Kurt would be coming any minute from Home Economics. If Blaine looked terrible, he felt worse. His head hurt. Crying for hours the night before had left his eyes puffy and his skull pounding. The dirty looks he was getting from half of the Glee Club didn't help. Neither did the pointed glare Sheila threw him as she walked by on her way to probably toke up under the bleachers. He'd tried to get staff to let him stay home today, but they had handed him two Advil and kicked him out the door. There were few excuses in a program that would grant a kid a sick day.

When his father had walked out of Sidney House without even saying goodbye, Blaine had bolted from the therapy room, across the living room and to the front door where he shouted obscenities that cost him nearly five dollars in the House cookie jar. Xavien reached him just before he ran out and put him in a standing hold until he could settle his own body down. Then the tears truly came and somehow he ended up back on the couch curled in a ball.

They'd had to hold group without him in the kitchen, but another staff member took that over as Xavien stayed with him long past his shift was over. Eventually the tears stopped and the anger once again reared its ugly head as he swore, this time for free, at everyone. Kurt, his mother, his father and, most of all, himself were all fair game as he played the blame game for hours, each one growing more at fault than the one before. It tore his heart out to acknowledge the imperfections of the people he loved the most. It challenged everything he ever believed about himself to truly look at the pain his mother and father had put him through and to admit that he had never deserved any of it.

But he cried with relief when he allowed himself to forgive Kurt. And even more, to forgive himself.

He knew he'd have to do it again. The waves of blame and guilt and shame would wash over him again and again and there would be moments he'd wrongly believe that he or Kurt were at fault for destroying his family. And that was one of the true reasons he didn't want to live with Kurt and his Dad.

There were others. He had been honest when he'd said that he needed the professional help of staff around him 24/7. And he was honest when he said that for right now he needed to be around others who had been through the same. They  _could_  understand him in a different way than Kurt. Not a better way, but a different way and he needed them. And he knew that if he chose to live with Kurt that he would lose them. He was quickly learning how easily people walked in and out of the lives of kids in foster care. Their family was whoever they lived with at that moment, knowing full well that the next moment may bring them a new family, and the old would be forgotten. He understood that leaving the kids at Sidney House would be losing them. But he trusted that he would never lose Kurt.

That was the thought on his mind as Kurt came skipping over from class, excited to see the cast list. All thoughts of the list had been forgotten by Blaine though, and his heart swelled while his face broke out in a goofy grin. Without a thought for who was around he swept Kurt into his arms and held him tightly. Kurt grinned from ear to ear with relief at Blaine's gesture.

"Not that I'm complaining," Kurt said as Blaine released him from the embrace but not his touch, "But to what do I owe the honor of that greeting?"

"I just love you so much Kurt," Blaine choked out, eyes shining as the tears of last night threatened to return. "And I'm so sorry for hurting you yesterday. I don't ever want my shit to hurt you. Last night I…"

Blaine was cut off by Artie's appearance at the bulletin boards. "Back off everyone," he said as he rolled in waving a paper in his hand. "Back off and let me get in there. List of destiny in my hands."

Rachel jumped up and down clapping, Santana glared at Artie, Puck and Mercedes and Mike stood patiently, but Kurt's worried eyes stayed locked on Blaine. The disruption brought the rest of the world back into focus though and Blaine furtively wiped his eyes before turning to the cast list, his hand still clasped in Kurt's.

**CHESS CAST LIST**

**Freddie (The American): Blaine Anderson**

**Anatoly (The Russian) : Kurt Hummel**

**Florence: Rachel Berry**

**Molokov: Noah Puckerman**

**The Arbiter: Mike Chang**

**Svetlana: Santana Lopez**

**Walter: Finn Hudson**

Rachel's squealing broke Blaine out of his haze of staring at the cast list and he finally actually looked at it. "Oh my god, Artie!" she shrieked. "I am married to Blaine and in love with Kurt, it could not be more perfect!"

"Of course, because the two of you really need to be spending more time with Blaine," Finn sneered under his breath.

"Finn!" Kurt admonished with embarrassment.

Blaine looked up angrily. "What the hell is your problem, man?"

"Nothing. No problem at all," Finn snapped, throwing up his hands and walking away.

"I'm sorry," Rachel mouthed to Blaine as she ran after her boyfriend.

Blaine's head felt like it was going to explode and he needed to get away from the fluorescent lights and the audience that was now watching him closely. He gripped the strap of the messenger bag that hung around his shoulder and stormed off.

"Blaine, wait!" Kurt called after him as he rushed to catch up.

"That's just another reason why I can't live at your house, Kurt. Finn hates me," Blaine barked as he flung the front doors open and stormed off to his car.

They reached the parking lot before Kurt could grab his hand, but once he did he pulled sharply. "Blaine, stop!" he ordered.

Blaine let out a breath of air and rested his free arm on the hood of his car, his head nearly falling on the roof. Kurt paced quietly behind him, happy that Blaine had stopped instead of peeling away in the car. But this wasn't the way he wanted to leave things, not after the amazing greeting he'd gotten only moments ago. He stopped and turned.

"Last night you what?" Kurt asked pleadingly as their earlier conversation still rang in his ears.

But Blaine didn't answer right away. He propped his chin on his arm and stared out into the sky. Clouds were rolling in, looking like it might storm. The air smelled of electricity, but he couldn't tell if it was that or his fears that raised the hair on his arms. "Do you know who your family is Kurt?" he asked almost rhetorically. But Kurt's answer wasn't what he expected.

"No," Kurt responded softly.

Blaine twisted, his forehead scrunched in a mixture of surprise and confusion. He'd thought the answer would be easy.

Kurt continued. "I mean, is my Mom still part of my family? She's been gone almost ten years, but she's still in my heart. She's still in my Dad's heart. And what about Carole and Finn? Sure, I call Finn my brother now, but are we really, when he acts the way he just acted? And I love Carole, I do, but she's not my mother. It's still all so new."

Blaine held his breath as he watched Kurt's eyes shift from sadness to love when he stepped forward and took Blaine's hand. "And you. What about you Blaine? Sometimes you feel more like family then any of them. When I think of my family, of my future, it's you I see."

Blaine's words were constricted in his throat as he both laughed and wiped away tears of pain and contentment. "And that's how I know you won't go anywhere, Kurt. Even while I do this for me." His head dipped with regret. "But I never should have said you couldn't understand me."

"I understand that you're hurting Blaine. I understand that things are happening around you that aren't fair and you wish it was all in your hands to change, but it's not. I understand that everyone is making decisions for you and telling you how you're supposed to feel and how you're supposed to act when you don't even know how or what to feel because the world is collapsing around you."

Blaine's eyes raised and became transfixed on this boy he loved with all his heart when he hadn't even known that that much love could exist. He listened as Kurt showed him how much he understood when the truth was Blaine didn't even understand himself.

"And I understand how much you want everything to just go back to how it was. Back to normal on the good days," Kurt finished.

"That's why I can't live with you," Blaine said abruptly.

Kurt swallowed against the sudden heartache and shook his head. "I don't understand."

"But I finally do," Blaine said, life and hope returning to his face. "I love you, Kurt and someday, I hope, we will be family. But living with yours now would be giving up on mine, and I'm not ready to do that. It terrifies me to do that, Kurt. Where I am, it's temporary. It's safe. I have friends, I have support, but I don't have to get attached to anyone. I won't have a new father, a new mother. I know who my family still is. And I want to go home." He squeezed Kurt's hand, praying he wasn't hurting him further, hoping that Kurt understood now. "I know I'm almost an adult and I should be able to figure it all out without being confused, but you helped me realize I don't have to. Because you do understand me Kurt. You always will. I get that now."

Kurt took a deep breath and Blaine knew they were both resisting the urge to kiss in the middle of the parking lot. Kurt smiled tenderly. "My dad wanted me to invite you to Friday night dinner," he said with a small laugh.

Blaine grinned bashfully. "I'd love to come. If I can."

"Maybe you can sleep over," Kurt smirked with a suggestive wink.

"Oh Finn, would just love that, wouldn't he," Blaine teased.

"Well, I can understand his frustration, honestly," Kurt shrugged smartly. "You and I will be sharing his wife after all."

Blaine laughed and pulled Kurt toward him into a hug. Kurt melted into him, relief washing over them both. They were okay again, and this time when they went their separate ways, neither was holding onto hurt feelings.


	10. Dreams

Halfway through the teaching day her fingers started shaking, her mouth grew dry and she began to sweat.  _No_ , Theresa Anderson told herself.  _Not today_. She refused to give in to the cravings of the drugs with which she was poisoning her body, poisoning her mind, and poisoning the relationship with her son. She couldn't give in today. She had a visit scheduled with Blaine and she couldn't miss it. She hadn't seen him since that first time and she missed him. She missed him terribly. She missed his singing and his piano playing and she missed their heated and lengthy discussions of the books he devoured like candy. She missed him as much as she missed the pills she knew were sitting in her glove compartment of her car, ready to take the pain away.

And there was so much pain. Going home every night to a house without her little boy was devastating. She'd spend hours in his room, just breathing in the scent of him, lying in his bed, cuddling with his pillow. Usually she'd fall asleep in there. That was okay. She and his father didn't really talk much since Blaine had been taken, and when they did it was a battle of anger and blame. She believed that this was all his fault. He's the one that started drinking again after all those years just because he couldn't face the truth about his own son. And of course with the drinking came the violence. She thought that it was over. It was bad enough that Cooper had had to witness that, though she wasn't even sure he remembered it, he was so young still when it all got better. But to not only make Blaine see it, but to strike him too was inexcusable.

Somewhere deep inside her she knew that she should have left him, but everything was just so right when he was sober. He was the perfect father, the perfect husband. It was only when he drank that he hurt them and afterwards, while Blaine cowered in his room, he always promised her it would be the last time. How could she not believe him? He'd gotten better before.

Her last lecture ended with enough time to get to the OFC office in Columbus with time to spare. She knew Blaine would be waiting for her. She started her car and hit the highway, determined to make it there despite the increased racing of her heart. But as the monotony of the road got the better of her, the pain of losing Blaine, of losing everything, began to eat at her again. There was only one thing that could take that pain away, and though she fought it as hard as she could, the craving was stronger than her will. She reached into the glove compartment.  _Just one_ , she thought as she gripped the steering wheel and the pill bottle in her left hand and opened the lid with her right.  _Just one to take the edge off_ , she thought. But as it always did, one turned in to two and then two turned into four. Gulping the water in her travel mug, she wiped away the drops that dribbled onto her chin and rubbed her eyes that were now blurring and crossing into double.

The pills eased the pain and made her forget. They made her forget that she hadn't protected her son. They made her forget the monster and the angel that was her husband. They made her forget that any of this at all was her fault. They made her forget all the promises she had made.

She couldn't drive like this, she needed to let the initial effects pass. She pulled off the highway into the nearest rest stop. She would just close her eyes for a few minutes and she'd still get there in time for the visit.  _Just for a few minutes_ …

It was dark when she awoke and the first thing she noticed was the flashing light on her cell phone. Her mouth was dry and her head fuzzy. She took a drink and remembered that the last one she took was to wash down the pills. As if in slow motion she felt her hand reach out to her phone and punch in the numbers to get the voicemail.

_Hello, Mrs. Anderson, this is James from OFC. Blaine and I have been waiting in the office for 30 minutes for the visit we confirmed this morning, so I need you to call me as soon as you get this message._

She fell onto the steering wheel, sobbing. She'd let Blaine down again. Just one more promise broken.

* * *

John Anderson went to his AA meeting at 7am before work then headed into the office. He had his first meeting with Blaine and the social worker after Blaine got out of school at Sidney House and he didn't want to be late. He took a break at noon when the nerves started to hit him and went out to his car to call his sponsor. There was no privacy in the office and he didn't need anyone to know that he was in recovery. It wasn't that he was ashamed. In fact, he was proud to be sober nearly a month now. It was everything that had come before that he didn't want anyone to know. Everything he'd done to Blaine. To Blaine's mother. He hated himself for it all. His counselor told him that eventually he'd have to forgive himself, but he believed that sitting with the guilt for a time could help him repair his relationship with Blaine. And that was all that mattered to him.

As he left the program that night, Blaine screaming obscenities out the door at him, he climbed into his car quickly and pulled out of sight before stopping to collect himself. Blaine's words rushed back to him.  _For years, I protected her, James! I'd get in the middle, I'd instigate him, so he'd turn his attacks on me instead of her._  He couldn't believe that he'd never realized that was what Blaine had been doing all along, but looking back on it with a clear mind, it seemed obvious. He always used to think that Blaine was just defiant, trying to flaunt himself. But all along he'd been protecting his mother.

It angered John. Blaine's mother had hurt him too, but Blaine didn't seem to remember that, or at least he didn't want to. But for years, even before Blaine had come out, even before she started using the pills, she'd get angry at John but take it out on Blaine. She'd yell and scream and sometimes she would hit him, though she rarely ever truly hurt Blaine. Not like he had. Nothing like he had. And yet he felt somewhat resentful that Blaine seemed to love her and hate him. Especially when he was the one that was trying. Because he'd wanted so badly to do everything right with Blaine.

Cooper had been an accident, the mistake of a young couple still in college too naïve for their own good. They'd made mistakes with Cooper that they'd both regretted, but they'd grown up and dreamed of doing it right the second time around. They waited until they both had good jobs, him at the insurance company, her at the local college. Cooper was nine and a handful, but he'd settled down since the extreme hyperactivity of his younger days. He was happy to get a sibling and he wanted a little brother more than anything. When Blaine was born, he was nothing but perfect to everyone. The dreams they all had for him were enormous.

John was beginning to understand that they were too much for any kid to live up to.

* * *

"My Dad always wanted me to be a doctor," Blaine told his peers at group the night after his visit with his Dad. He sat in the swing, rocking back and forth, a little wistful, a little angry. "He used to tell me that someday I would come home to my wife and my two kids and I'd tell them about how I'd saved so many lives that day." Blaine chuckled ironically. "The sight of blood makes me ill. All I ever wanted to do was perform on stage and walk hand in hand home with a man who loved me. No matter how hard I try, I'll never be able to make his dreams come true."

"My parents had dreams of multi-million dollar homes and summers in France," Sebastian said bitterly, looking around the room. "Well, look the fuck where we are now, this sure as hell ain't France."

"I'll be sure to put up a painting of the Eiffel Tower for you Seb," Beth, the leader for the night's group, said with a calming grin to Sebastian, and they could all see him visibly relax. "Okay, who else wants to talk about the dreams their families had for them?" she said glancing around at the boys. The girls had taken a field trip to the local beauty parlor for makeovers.

"My dad wanted me to play professional sports," Nicholas told them sadly. "And I have always wanted to also. I've worked hard for years. But when I came out, he took me off of every team and told me that I should go play with the girls."

"More and more athletes are coming out now," Cass told him. "Hopefully they'll make it possible for you."

"I'm not going to live in the closet," Nicholas said determined, with just a slight glance at Blaine seeking reassurance.

Blaine nodded and smiled. "None of us should live in the closet. Out and proud may have gotten the shit beaten out of me, but no one can take away from me the fact that I had the courage to be myself. I'm just coming to realize that. Maybe it's not really my job to make my Dad's dreams come true," He said thoughtfully. "Maybe it's his job to help me make  _my_  dreams come true."

* * *

Kurt came home from school on Friday exhausted after their first read through for Chess. Blaine had to go back to the program to get his things to sleep over and he promised to be at the house before six. It had been a long, emotional week, with Blaine's moods constantly up and down, which took its toll on Kurt. He was trying to be strong. Whether it was true or not, and he really knew it wasn't, he felt responsible for all Blaine was going through. So he held his hand and listened and kissed him when he needed it and backed away when he didn't. Sometimes it felt like a constant roller coaster.

He had forgotten that James was coming over today before Blaine's visit. Burt had wanted to talk with him about the best way that he and the family could continue to be a support for Blaine. Stepping through the doorway Kurt heard voices and he waited in the foyer out of view.

"It's important that Blaine have people who have been there for him in the past to continue to be there for him now, no matter what happens, so he doesn't think that any of this is his fault. Also, if his parents don't do what they need to do and he stays in care, then he'll want someplace to go for holidays and vacations and just when he needs a break," James said. "No one wants to spend Christmas in a program."

"Blaine is always welcome here," Burt said firmly. "For a day, a week or a month, whatever he needs. I just don't want to force anything on him. I know Kurt was really upset when Blaine chose not to live here, but honestly, I think it's the right decision for him now. It's only been a month. If this drags out then we can talk again."

"I absolutely agree with you," James said. "If he were younger, it would be different, but he has a lot of issues he needs to work on. He presents really well because he wants to be loved and accepted, but there's a lot of anger and hurt caused by the trauma that he hides deeply. His sense of abandonment and rejection, he needs professional help to deal with that. No offense," he added.

Burt laughed. "None taken," he assured James. "I can fix a car from top to bottom, but people ain't my forte. Trying to figure out Kurt and Finn has been hard enough," he laughed.

Kurt smiled in the foyer and decided to make his presence known. "Was I really that hard of a kid to figure out?" he asked affectionately as he walked into the living room and sat next to his Dad.

"The toughest," Burt told him, ruffling his hair and throwing an arm around his shoulder. "How was school?"

"It was good," he answered, but his heart wasn't in it. Burt looked at him questioningly, eyebrow hitched high. Kurt shook his head. "I dunno. School's fine, it's just Blaine. He's all over the place. One minute he's happy and his usual self, the next he's angry and brooding. Sometimes I can tell what set him off, but usually it's just completely out of the blue." He lowered his head to his Dad's shoulder and looked at James. "Is it always this hard?" he asked.

James smiled sadly. "Unfortunately, yes. Usually worse. Blaine's actually doing really well. And that's because he's listening to his heart about what's right for him," he said pointedly.

"Do you think he'll ever go home?" Kurt asked quietly.

James sighed and leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. "I think there's a chance, but we need to make sure Blaine's safe first. His Dad seems to be trying and if that continues, especially given Blaine's age, we could be looking at him going home. "

"I just wish his Mom would try to," Kurt said angrily. "She's stood him up for what, three visits now? My mother would have done anything to be able to stay with us and she just throws him away and forgets about him? What kind of person does that?"

Burt didn't know what to say because he'd thought the exact same things, but he knew it wouldn't be helpful for Kurt to share those thoughts with Blaine. "I don't know, son. Probably someone who is in a lot of her own pain and can't see past it. It's okay for you to be angry at her, but expressing that with Blaine may not be helpful," he said.

"Your Dad's right, Kurt," James said compassionately. "No matter what she does, Blaine will always love her."

* * *

James pulled out onto the highway after his visit with the Hummels and checked his voicemail before heading home. He cycled through the messages quickly until the fourth message, when he heard Blaine's voice. The sadness in it was heartbreaking.

_Hi James, this is Blaine. Um, I was just wondering if you've heard anything from my Mom? I really want a visit with her as soon as I can. It's been a really long time. So, um, yeah. If you hear from her, please let me know. K? Okay, bye._


	11. Friday Night Dinner

_Hi James, this is Blaine. Um, I was just wondering if you've heard anything from my Mom? I really want a visit with her as soon as I can. It's been a really long time. So, um, yeah. If you hear from her, please let me know. K? Okay, bye._

Blaine hung up the phone in the office and leaned against the door frame with his eyes shut. He felt like he'd been blindsided and sucker punched.

The read through earlier that day of Chess hadn't been as bad as he'd imagined. The show was full of triggers for him but most were inside the songs and he tuned those out when Artie played the Broadway recording. He didn't need to fall apart today. He wanted everything to be perfect with Kurt today…and tonight.

He pulled up to the program and glided inside the door, a huge smile on his face. He was having dinner with Kurt. He was spending the night with Kurt. There was absolutely nothing that could bring him down.

After greeting Michael, the group leader for that night, as he set up the therapy room, Blaine went to his room. He found Nicholas napping on the bottom bunk and he quietly started packing his overnight bag, throwing in his clothing and toiletries and Kurt's favorite moisturizing products that he'd picked out just for Blaine before everything had happened. He was just about to zip it up when his phone vibrated in his pocket. He'd been so excited he'd forgotten to turn it in to staff when he got home from school.

It was a simple phone call really. Carole called to find out what his favorite food was so she could prepare it for dinner that night. Without even thinking he told her pancakes. She told him that she and Burt were really looking forward to seeing him that night. He hung up the phone and tried with all his might to bite back the tears that threatened to fall but he couldn't. He sat down on his bed next to his overnight bag and silently cried so as not to wake Nicholas, his head falling into his hands.

No matter what she did, or didn't do, he missed his mother terribly. He remembered the mornings after, when both of them were battered and bruised and their Dad was gone who knows where. She'd get up early and he'd wake to the smell of pancakes and bacon. He'd wash away his tears from the night before and head downstairs, sitting and laughing with her as they both ignored the elephant in the room and the pain in their hearts and bodies. All they wanted was to make it all better for one another. In those moments he loved her more than anything and as Blaine sat on his bed at Sidney House, he wondered if she ever made pancakes anymore. He wondered what she was doing, if she was okay, if she was safe from herself and from his father. And he knew that if he could just see her, he could help make it all better again.

He didn't realize a simple phone call could wipe him out, but as he finished his message to James and hung up the phone in the office, he needed to steady himself against the doorframe. He closed his eyes and tried to breath.

"Sometimes it's better just to give up hope."

Blaine's eyes flew open at Sebastian's voice so close and he saw the boy leaning across from him, arms crossed over his chest. His eyes were earnest and sad. Blaine knew he was right, that it would be easier to expect the worst. Still… "I can't give up on her. Not yet," he confessed quietly.

Sebastian nodded in understanding, then glanced to the floor and gently tapped Blaine's overnight bag with his toe. "Running away?" he asked with an eyebrow cocked.

The question startled Blaine. "What?"

Sebastian nodded to the bag. "I know you don't have an overnight with the 'rents, so…"

"Oh, no, no," Blaine said quickly to assure him, picking up the bag and throwing it over his shoulder. "I'm not running. I'm spending the night at Kurt's. With permission," he clarified. "James and Xavien approved it." The grin suddenly returned to his face at the thought.

Sebastian's face slowly turned up as well as he slapped Blaine on the back. "Holy, shit!" he exclaimed and immediately put an arm around Blaine. Sebastian led him to the kitchen, digging a quarter out of his pocket along the way and dropped it into the swear jar. He then, thinking better of it, threw a dollar in. Tyler and Rebecca, who were sitting at the table eating a late snack and doing homework before group, glanced up with curiosity.

"Expecting a firestorm?" Rebecca asked eagerly.

Sebastian was happy to satisfy them. "No. My buddy Blaine here will be spending the night gettin' busy with his Mister!"

Blaine blushed and stuttered. "Oh no…I mean…that's not really…"

But Sebastian didn't let him finish. "Condoms, lube, advice, new moves, kink suggestions" he said with a grin and a wink as he squeezed Blaine's shoulders. "Whatever you need I've got."

"Didn't realize your Johns were so exciting, Sebastian," Rebecca mocked.

"Fuck no," Sebastian said in disgust. "My Johns were boring as hell. That's why I needed to learn how to spice things up," he smirked.

"I bet Blaine already knows how to get things spicy," Tyler said, but he suddenly realized his friend was getting uncomfortable and stopped.

"Look guys," Blaine said pulling away from Sebastian's grasp. "I appreciate the enthusiasm for my sex life, I really do, but Kurt and I…I mean, we haven't…" he flustered awkwardly.

"Hold up Sexy," Sebastian called, turning on him with his hands on his hips. "You mean to tell me that you have access to that hot piece of ass, and you haven't screwed it yet?" Sebastian was incredulous.

Blaine dipped his head, embarrassment mixed with a touch of anger. "I don't have  _access_  to anything. Kurt's body belongs to him. And when Kurt's ready…when  _we're_  ready…" he clarified then paused picking up his bag. "You know, I understand you're just trying to help but this is between Kurt and me."

But Sebastian didn't back down. "Look Blaine, you and Kurt are going to be trying to create passion and fire on that stage. But how can you do that when you can't even find it in the bedroom?"

Blaine stopped in his tracks. He knew Sebastian was right. Their love was full of romance and sweetness, but fire and passion wasn't something that either one had strived for so far, keeping their hands above the waist up until now. He wanted that to change. He'd never admit it, but he felt it sometimes when Sebastian looked at him with nothing but desire in his eyes. He wanted to feel it with Kurt though, not Sebastian. Still he knew Kurt wasn't ready for what Sebastian was talking about. At least he was pretty sure. "We're just waiting for the right time," he told the group defensively, then raced out of the kitchen.

He couldn't deny that he hoped the right time was soon.

* * *

By the time Blaine pulled up to Kurt's house, his nerves were racing through his body. It wasn't just everything Sebastian had said. Sure, he was ready to move forward with Kurt but he was also happy to go at his boyfriend's pace. The most important thing was that Kurt was comfortable. No, what really made him nervous was facing Burt and Carole and Finn. He'd been to the house plenty of times by now. Since he and Kurt started dating he'd been welcomed with open arms and had been to a number of Friday night dinners over the summer, before everything fell apart for him. But now he was returning a liar, someone who had hidden dark secrets about himself and his family. He already knew that Finn's opinion of him had changed drastically. Over the summer Finn had been an overprotective big brother who had kept an eye out for Kurt but had trusted Blaine. Now Blaine had lost all of his trust and Finn was certain that Blaine would hurt Kurt.

And he knew the amount of work that Burt and Carole had put into opening their home to him. He knew that Kurt was still upset about his decision not to live with them, though he seemed to be starting to accept it. But he didn't know how Burt and Carole would feel. The last thing he wanted was to disappoint them and possibly lose them. He should have realized that the invitation to dinner proved that he never would, but Blaine couldn't believe that any grown up was there forever anymore.

He took a deep breath, steeled his courage and walked to the front door. His finger shook slightly as he rang the doorbell but his stomach settled a little when Kurt opened the door with a bright smile. The first thing Blaine noticed was his boyfriend's gorgeous blue eyes flitting to his overnight bag and then his lips. When his twinkling eyes rose to greet Blaine, he couldn't help the small thrill seeing the blush rising in Kurt's pale cheeks at the same time. "Hi," Kurt said softly.

"Hi yourself," Blaine answered coyly then leaned in tentatively to kiss Kurt. He had meant it to be quick, on the doorstep of Kurt's parent's home, but Kurt leaned in instantly, deepening the kiss to savor it. Blaine's heart beat faster, this time his nerves replaced with pleasure, and all thoughts of Kurt's parents disappeared. That was until they heard a throat clear from inside.

"Think you might want to ask him into the house and close the door first Kurt?" The boys suddenly separated, Blaine's face now flush too with embarrassment.

"Sorry Dad," Kurt giggled as he took Blaine's hand and led him inside, closing the door behind him.

"Sorry Sir," Blaine said more contrite. The nervous tension returned but Carole quickly quelled it as she pushed Burt aside with a stare that warned him to be good, and pulled Blaine into her arms.

"It's so good to see you again, sweetheart," Carole said as she hugged him tightly. Just when his mind began to haunt him with memories of his own mother, Carole held him out to study him. "You look good," she decided. "Hungry though I bet. Dinner's almost ready. You two finish saying hello and then come join us in the kitchen," she said with a wink.

Burt began to object but she grabbed his hand and pulled him into the other room, gently chiding him along the way.

Blaine breathed a sigh of relief and Kurt immediately wrapped his arms around him again. They kissed again, and Kurt pulled Blaine close to him, wanting to feel Blaine's body against his, never wanting to let him go. Blaine's hands traced the muscles in Kurt's back as their tongues danced and explored and they came to rest around Kurt's waist as they parted. "That was… incredible," Blaine told him and his heart skipped at Kurt's proud grin.

"You're not so bad yourself," Kurt teased with a blush.

Blaine took Kurt's hand and looked around cautiously. "So, is Finn here?" he asked trying to hide his hope that the answer would be no.

But apparently he didn't need to because Kurt's eyes turned devious and he tilted his head as they started walking into the kitchen. "I may have told him that there were secrets I knew that I might have trouble keeping if he didn't spend the night at Puck's house."

"Ooo, what secrets?" Blaine asked squeezing Kurt's hand.

"I dunno," Kurt shrugged with a grin. "But apparently there's something!"

Blaine's whole face lit up with delight. He'd forever regret thinking that Kurt didn't understand him. "I love you," Blaine glowed as he crossed into the threshold of the kitchen.

Kurt nuzzled his head contently against Blaine's shoulder. "I love you too."

* * *

"I think the show is going to be really good," Kurt was sharing after Burt asked them about the read through of Chess. "Rachel can be annoying, but she is seriously going to kill it in this role, she's brilliant."

"You were pretty brilliant too," Blaine added from across the table, pausing mid forkful. Their eyes met and softened instantly. Burt and Carole smirked at one another through the momentary silence, but Blaine quickly recovered. "I can't wait to start rehearsals."

"Finn told me you and he have a song together, Blaine," Carole said. She eyed him carefully, as only a mother could.

"Yeah." Blaine sobered and his eyes were downcast. "Look, I know Finn's not to keen on me right now," Blaine started.

"Finn's just working some things out," Burt said apologetically.

"No, it's okay," Blaine continued, wanting to finally get out what he'd been thinking for weeks. "I understand. I mean, I never should have put Kurt and Mercedes in danger when I ran. I shouldn't have gotten them all caught up in this. I never meant for the police to come to the house."

Carole grasped his hand. "Everyone makes mistakes Blaine."

Blaine shook his head, tears threatening at the feel of her hand, but he wouldn't let them fall. "Still, you guys have done so much for me. Kurt told me what you've gone through trying to let me come live here and then I just say no." He frowned. "I must seem so ungrateful, but I'm not."

"Blaine," Burt said and the man's tone made them all stop and listen. "What makes you special is that you follow your heart. No matter what you do. So if your heart tells you that here isn't where you belong right now, then we'll all support you. And in case someday you decide it is where you belong, we'll finish the home study so we're ready for you if you need us."

Blaine blinked and swallowed. "So…you don't hate me?" he asked quietly.

"Hate you?" Carole exclaimed. "Sweetheart, we love you."

Her words caught him by surprise and he couldn't keep the tears from flowing any longer. He quickly wiped them away, ashamed of his weakness in front of the Hummels. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

But Carole pulled his hand from his eyes and wiped them herself. "Tears are more than welcome in this house, Blaine." She smiled and squeezed his hand. "I don't know how it's been before, but here with us, you never ever have to apologize for how you feel."

* * *

Burt watched Kurt and Blaine finish clearing the dishes from the table. He wasn't born yesterday; he knew what the boys had planned for that evening. Part of him, a very big part of him, told him he was crazy to let it happen. But the other part needed to trust the boys to remember what he'd told Kurt last year and take it to heart. He wondered suddenly if anyone had ever told Blaine that he mattered. It made him sad, and maybe just a little bit nervous to know that probably no one had.

"So, since Finn's not here tonight, Blaine can sleep in his room," Burt said nonchalantly.

Kurt whipped around to face his dad. "No, Dad, you can't make Blaine sleep in there. It's completely disgusting. There's old food wrappers and clothes everywhere and god knows what he's done in his bed."

Blaine placed a hand on Kurt's shoulder to calm what he was sure would soon become hysterics. "It's fine Kurt, really."

"No, it's not fine," Kurt argued. "Whether you're here for a night or a year this is home and you're not sleeping in a dirty, disgusting room." He turned back to his dad. "Please, can't he sleep in my room? I'll grab your flimsy camping air mattress and sleep on the floor."

"Sweetheart, as soon as I heard Finn was out tonight I started cleaning his room," Carole assured Kurt. "I will make sure to change the sheets and take the laundry downstairs and vacuum. I promise, I wouldn't subject Blaine to the state of my son's room."

"And next time Blaine comes, we'll make sure the changes to my office are made so he can sleep in there," Burt promised. "But he's not sleeping in your room and there are no ifs ands or buts about it, is that understood?"

Kurt mumbled in the affirmative, while Blaine clearly stated, "Yes, Sir."

"Good," Burt said with a sigh. "And stop with the Sirs, Blaine. Nothing's changed since this summer and the last time you were here I had finally gotten you to call me Burt."

"Yes, Sir…I mean Burt, sir," he trailed off.

Burt laughed and ruffled Blaine's hair. "Ok, Carole and I are going off to watch a movie as soon as she finishes in Finn's room. Am I correct to assume that you boys won't be joining us," he said with an amused look.

"You are correct Dad," Kurt said taking Blaine's hand. "We'll be in my room. Don't come looking for us if you need us."

"Door open Kurt!" Burt called as they headed up the stairs, receiving only a dismissive wave of Kurt's hand in response.

Carole embraced Burt and kissed him. "Did I do a good job?" Burt asked nervously.

She chuckled. "You are a wonderful father, darling. To both of them."

* * *

"You taste like syrup," she heard Kurt giggle.

"Good thing you like things sweet," Blaine responded playfully.

Carole rapped quietly and slowly pushed open the door to Kurt's room which was only slightly ajar. She found the boys once again lost in their own world as they kissed and she couldn't help but smile. She cleared her throat quietly and the boys jerked apart.

"Finn's room is all made up for you Blaine," she told them. "I gave it an extra thorough cleaning. Lysol and everything. I'm going to go back to the living room and watch the movie with your Dad, Kurt, but I'm sure when he comes up he'll expect you two in separate rooms," she forewarned.

"Got it Carole," Kurt said gratefully. "Thank you."

"Goodnight you two. Be good." She blew them a kiss and closed the door part way.

Blaine looked up at Kurt mischievously. "Good was not exactly my plan," he said, leaning up to nip slightly at Kurt's lips.

"Good," Kurt smiled against his lips as he moved to straddle Blaine and kiss back. "It wasn't mine either."

As Kurt slowly moved from Blaine's lips to his neck, Blaine's mind started to wander to the things said at dinner and to Sebastian's words. Without knowing it, his body started to tighten and Kurt leaned back.

"What's the matter babe?" he asked, worry clouding his eyes.

"It's nothing," Blaine answered dismissively.

Kurt knew it wasn't  _nothing_  but he didn't push. Instead, he gently pulled Blaine up by the lapel and started unbuttoning his shirt. Blaine stared at Kurt's slender fingers in wonder until they stopped at the third button. "Is this okay?" Kurt asked, biting his lip.

Blaine's pupils grew big as his eyes met Kurt's and he whispered, "Yes."

Kurt's eyes never left Blaine's as he finished loosing the buttons and let the shirt fall over wide shoulders and down Blaine's back. He placed his hands beneath Blaine's t-shirt onto his sides, which burst out in goose bumps, and Kurt arched an eyebrow in question. Blaine nodded quickly, his breath becoming shorter, his body temperature rising. Kurt slipped Blaine's t-shirt off over his head. When Blaine's chest finally lay bare, Kurt sucked in a breath that he forgot to let go until a kiss from Blaine pulled him out of his trance.

"Lie down on your stomach," Kurt requested. Blaine did as he was told, resting his head on his crossed arms, and watched Kurt disappear into the bathroom. He soon emerged holding a bottle of lotion and climbed back behind Blaine, straddling his legs and resting gently on Blaine's thighs. "Is this okay?" he checked in again.

"Perfect," Blaine answered with a shiver.

Blaine heard Kurt warm the lotion up in his hands and then the feel of Kurt's soft fingertips on his skin mixed with the scent of vanilla and sandalwood filled Blaine's senses. It was electrifying. Kurt took care to massage every muscle in his back and shoulders until the tension was completely erased and replaced with a serenity Blaine never thought he could feel. He closed his eyes, soaking up every loving touch. It was as if he'd finally been able to push the "pause" button on life. Every worry was momentarily erased from his mind until the only thing that mattered, the only thing that existed, was Kurt.

After thirty minutes or so, he felt Kurt's fingers leave his skin and he almost whined. But then the touch returned and fingers slipped just under the waistline of his jeans, teasing him. Blaine suddenly moaned as his whole body erupted in a fire that coursed through his veins. He felt Kurt lean over and the hot whisper vibrated in his ear. "Roll over, love."

Kurt lifted his hips slightly, just enough for Blaine to turn over and Blaine's lust blown eyes met Kurt's. They were a darker blue than Blaine had ever seen on his boyfriend and he instantly fell in love with them. If he could see those eyes again and again for the rest of his life, he knew that he'd always be okay.

Kurt's fingers once again slipped under his waistband and knuckles traced back and forth along his sensitive skin until he rested on the button of his jeans. Blaine's heart beat wildly in his chest with anticipation.

"May I," Kurt asked.

"Please," Blaine rasped.

Blaine closed his eyes again as he felt the button pop and the zipper lower. Mindful of the partly open door, Kurt only pushed the jeans down slightly as he spread them open. Blaine felt Kurt brush his thumb over his boxers and his body pulsed hotly beneath it in response.

"Oh my god," Blaine moaned but it was quickly swallowed by Kurt's lips on his, smiling while they kissed, with satisfaction. "Don't stop Kurt, that feels amazing," Blaine whispered.

"I don't plan to stop," Kurt promised and Blaine felt Kurt's strokes become firmer and more sure.

"Please, Kurt, let me make you feel good too," Blaine begged.

But Kurt shook his head. "Tonight's about you."

The fire in Blaine's belly was growing but he needed Kurt to feel it too. He reached his arms around Kurt's slender form and ran his hands from his shoulders, down his side, to his hips. When Kurt didn't protest, he tentatively cupped his ass. Kurt bit his lip to suppress his moan and it was possibly the most beautiful sight that Blaine had ever seen. He pressed Kurt down into him as he jerked his own hips upward and it was as if flames erupted between them. Desperate lips met fiercely while they moved in perfect rhythm.

The passion rose between them as they grew so lost in the sensations flowing through their bodies that they had completely forgotten, or didn't care anymore, that someone could walk in on them at any moment. As the fire inside them finally exploded, they muffled their cries against one another and clung so tightly together that they wondered if, for a moment, they were truly one.

Sweat glistening, breath slowly returning to normal, Kurt buttoned Blaine's jeans for the inevitable moment when they would be interrupted. He brushed Blaine's cheeks that flushed with both passion and a bit of embarrassment and kissed his swollen lips. "You take my breath away." Kurt spoke softly, gazing intensely into Blaine's hazel eyes. "You're a survivor, Blaine. Everything you've been through, all the hurt and pain, and you're still able to love like that. I am so proud to call you mine."

Blaine's breath caught in his throat. Kurt's words filled a hole inside him he didn't even realize had been there. "I hope so," he said, his voice cracked. "I want you to be. There is no one else in this world I would want to have shared that with than you Kurt. I want to again and again, and so much more. I need you, so much."

"You have me, Blaine," Kurt answered. "I'm never going anywhere."


	12. Heaven Help My Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like Ryan Murphy saying this, but this is one of my favorite chapters. It's not an easy one, it's hard. It's angsty. It could be a bit triggery. But please trust me. I believe the end is worth it.
> 
> This chapter does take script from The First Time. I am sure you will know what it is. I don't own Glee, but the rest is all me.

"So, did you and gay face do the dirty last night or what?" Sebastian asked crudely as he combed through his hair.

Blaine was sitting on his bed with his English homework, trying to organize his thoughts on Hamlet, while Sebastian and Cass primped and polished to go out as only two teenage boys could do.

"Not that it's any business of yours Sebastian, but no, we didn't," he glared above his book. "And don't call Kurt that."

Sebastian only snickered while Cass ignored them. The two boys had an obvious connection from the start that Blaine fought at every turn. He knew that they could be good for each other, if they were both on their best behaviors. Sadly, Sebastian rarely was. Trying to deflect from the inevitable argument about Kurt, Cass tried on a fedora and turned to Blaine. "What do you think?" he asked with a goofy grin.

"Very gangsta, minus the smile" Blaine said, glancing up before highlighting one of Hamlet's lines in his book. "Where you guys going?"

"Scandals," Sebastian beamed as he jumped on the bed next to Blaine. He flung one arm around Blaine's shoulder and with the other hand he took the book out of Blaine's hands and threw it across the bed. "You should come." Sebastian's eyebrows wiggled at the double entendre.

Blaine rolled his eyes and moved away to get his book, settling on the opposite side from Sebastian. He looked up at Cass. "That's the gay bar out in Lima, right?"

Cass nodded enthusiastically. "The very one!"

"Don't you have to be 21 to get in?" Blaine asked.

Sebastian reached into his back pocket and pinched a small card between his fingers, flinging it smoothly at Blaine. He picked it up and looked at it. A fake ID. It wasn't badly made, but it didn't look like Sebastian and the date had him at 30 years old. "Got one for you too," Sebastian winked.

"No thanks," Blaine said, tossing it back to him. "Scandals isn't really our thing."

"Our, meaning you and Kurt? I don't remember inviting Kurt, I remember inviting you, sexy," Sebastian flirted.

"And that is precisely why I'm not going without Kurt," Blaine told him. "Now get off my bed."

"Leave him be, Bas," Cass chided. Sebastian smirked and got up, gathering up his keys and his wallet. Cass smiled warmly at Blaine. "It's pretty mild at Scandals. It's not like it's NY or San Francisco. Ask Kurt what he thinks and you two should come along with us next time."

Blaine returned to the head of the bed and leaned against his pillow. He found his place again in his Hamlet script and picked up the highlighter, but now his mind was picturing Kurt and him dancing together at the bar. He had to admit, he enjoyed the image. "Maybe I will," he answered a bit dreamily.

Sebastian's eye twinkled with mischief and Cass' smiled in delight. They both agreed that Blaine needed to get out and have some fun. He was too serious, too uptight. He needed to let loose and let his hair down. They thought going out tonight would plant a seed and they were right. They just hoped that Kurt would agree and the seed would grow into an amazing night.

* * *

_One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble_  
_Not much between despair and ecstasy_  
_One night in Bangkok and the tough guys tumble_  
_Can't be too careful with your company_  
_I can feel the devil walking next to me_

"Alright, good job Blaine! Mike, the choreography is amazing. Chorus you are to die for. Take five everyone!" Artie praised the cast from the house then rolled off to talk to Coach Beiste about some minor changes to the number.

Blaine jumped off the stage, sweat dripping from his exertion, and threw himself into the seat next to Kurt. Kurt smiled and handed him his water bottle. "If you guys do that number one more time, I'm going to have to drive you home while you sleep in the back seat."

Blaine chugged the water and wiped his mouth. "I can think of far more fun things to do in the back seat of a car," he said suggestively.

Kurt frowned at him. "You're spending too much time with Sebastian." 

Blaine grew tense. He knew better than Kurt did that Sebastian could be crude and overbearing, but he also had been a good friend to Blaine and was just trying to help him out of his shell of trying to be perfect and please everyone all the time. After all, it was impossible, and what was wrong with making mistakes once in a while anyway?

"Maybe you should try and get to know him a little better?" Blaine offered hesitantly.

Kurt groused. "And why should I do that?"

"Because it's important to me," Blaine said quietly.

Kurt turned slowly and really looked at Blaine. He could see Blaine's pleading eyes and though he didn't understand why, Kurt knew that this really mattered to him.

"Fine," he agreed reluctantly. "What do you suggest?"

Blaine smiled with relief. "Cass and Sebastian went to Scandals last weekend, and they invited us to come with them next time," he whispered hopefully.

"Scandals?" Kurt screeched and Blaine quickly quieted him. "Scandals?" he whispered strongly. "Blaine we have to be 21 to go there!"

"That's not a problem," Blaine told him. "Sebastian has fake IDs for us."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Of course he does. Look, Blaine, I know you want to fit in with these guys, and maybe yeah someday, we can go to one of those places, but don't you think we're kind of young?"

"Isn't now the time to be adventurous Kurt?" Blaine looked at him wistfully. "While we're young?"

Kurt sighed and pouted. "I don't know. I don't like the idea of sneaking into a bar full of alcohol and sweaty smelly older men who want to get their hands all over  _my_  teenage dream."

Blaine took Kurt's face and kissed his pretty pout. "The only hands I want all over me are yours," he assured him with a sly grin, but then turned serious. "This is my chance to be normal, just for one night. No staff, no counselors, just fun."

Kurt took Blaine's words to heart. He'd been through so much, they both had. But now Blaine was subject to rules and restrictions that most kids never had to deal with. He had to sign in and sign out, no phone, no computer, very little time for socialization what with groups and counseling and curfews. Kurt didn't like what he'd chosen, but Blaine deserved a night out and he deserved to be able to have a choice in his own hands for once. "Yeah, ok. Let's do it."

Blaine's eyes lit up. "Yeah?" he asked again.

Kurt nodded with a smile and squeezed Blaine's hand. "Just tell me when and I will be happy to be your date."

* * *

"Blaine, seriously dude, just come with us and meet Kurt there," Sebastian argued.

But Blaine would hear nothing of it. He'd spent 2 hours fixing his hair just right and choosing just the right outfit; a checkered shirt, vest and amber bowtie that matched his eyes. There was no way he was denying his boyfriend the chance to come pick him up for a date. And if they should happen to need some privacy at the end of the evening, in an outfit he'd made extra effort to ensure was easily removable, well climbing into the backseat of Sebastian's no doubt disgusting clunker was not at all what Blaine had in mind.

"No way Sebastian. I'm a gentleman, unlike you," he winked. "You two go, I'll meet you there."

Cass kissed him good-naturedly on the cheek and quickly straightened his bowtie. "Have a good drive down Blaine," he said sincerely. "Come on Sebastian, let's leave him be."

It was only moments after Sebastian and Cass left that the doorbell rang and Blaine raced to answer it. Opening the door took his breath away as he took in Kurt's skin tight pants, bolo tie and vest. "Kurt you look…amazing," he breathed.

Kurt beamed at the compliment as his eyes raked over Blaine. "So do you," he said, punctuating it with a kiss. Blaine signed himself and his cell phone out in the office then took Kurt's hand and led him out the door.

"I know it's kind of silly for me to want to come all the way here to pick you up just to drive all the way back to Lima," Kurt said with a lilt of apology in his voice.

Blaine squeezed his hand in reassurance. "It's not silly," he said. "It's romantic."

Kurt's cheeks grew rosy at Blaine's words and it thrilled Blaine. They climbed into the car and pulled on their seatbelts. They talked about Chess, and school, but mostly they sang on the short trip down.  _Fucking Perfect_  played and they belted it to one another, quickly deciding that it was their song. Their love was perfect and neither one believed that the other could ever be anything less than perfect.

They arrived at Scandals and parked in the lot. The cheesiness of the club made them both flush with embarrassment and Blaine handed over the IDs he'd gotten from Sebastian. Kurt balked at them. He suddenly expected all of his anxiety about the evening to have been for nothing because the IDs were so bad they would never get in. But the bulky bouncer barely gave them a second glance as he waved the boys inside.

Kurt grabbed Blaine's hand and looked around. The music was loud, and the air was cloudy though he knew cigarette smoking wasn't allowed. It did smell of incense and probably a smoke machine. Drag Queens flounced their goods and chatted up the men in the club while the younger guys were grinding against one another openly on the dance floor. It didn't exactly make Kurt comfortable, and a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach grew only bigger as Sebastian strode over.

"Hey sexy," Sebastian drawled as he slid up to Blaine, eyes already flirting unashamedly. "Hey Kurt," he added as an afterthought. He held out two brown bottles as he chugged his own. "Beers boys?"

"No thanks," Kurt refused and he frowned as he watched Blaine take one and immediately bring it to his lips.

"More for me then, Miss Priss," Sebastian said, winking at Blaine before hitting the center of the dance floor.

"I really don't like that guy," Kurt said.

"He's harmless," Blaine said. "But then let me introduce you to someone you will like," Blaine said with a grin as he caught Cass' eye across the bar. Kurt was pulled along until they were in front of a boy who reminded him of Heath Ledger in his prime. Tall, with soft curly blond hair and an inviting smile, Kurt couldn't help but relax as Blaine introduced them. "Cass, meet Kurt. Kurt, this is one of my roommates Cass."

"So nice to finally meet the guy that makes Anderson happy," Cass said genuinely.

"And you," Kurt answered. "I've heard great things about you. I really appreciate you being there for him."

"It's absolutely, my pleasure," Cass said. "You're a lucky guy."

Blaine looked coyly at Kurt and Kurt smiled, kissing him on the cheek. "I know I am."

"I'm going to go dance," Cass said. "You guys coming?"

Blaine looked at Kurt eagerly, but the dance floor seemed a bit like hostile territory to Kurt. His preference was sitting at the bar watching the action. But Blaine looked so excited he nudged him along. "You go ahead," Kurt told him. "I'll just watch for now."

Blaine kissed him quickly and scurried off to the dance floor, drink in his hand. Kurt sidled over to the bar and ordered a lemon seltzer, throwing some cash on the counter. He'd never liked the taste of beer and even that quick kiss was enough to turn up his nose. Blaine though didn't have the same problem. Kurt turned on the stool, sipping his drink, and watched as his boyfriend danced with Sebastian and Cass. Cass was respectful, spinning Blaine playfully but keeping a safe distance. Sebastian had no such decorum and much to Kurt's dismay, Blaine didn't seem to either. The two of them danced close, Sebastian not even trying to hide how much Blaine turned him on as he grinded seductively against the other boy.

This was the side of Blaine that Kurt didn't like. He'd seen it before. It had hurt him before when Blaine sang flirtatiously with Rachel on a night that ended with him kissing her. They hadn't been together then though. This felt even worse.

Cass came sliding in next to him, ordering two more beers. "You just gonna let Sebastian weasel in on your boyfriend?" His eyes were growing cloudy with the drink, but they still glittered with his ever present good humor. Cass nudged Kurt's shoulder. "Go out there and show those two who's the boss of your relationship." Cass tossed a ten on the counter, grabbed the beers and headed back out. He slipped one to Blaine and kept one for himself, then pulled Sebastian away to dance, winking at Kurt from across the room.

Kurt smiled gratefully and strutted onto the floor, immediately coming up behind Blaine and wrapping his arms around Blaine's waist. Blaine pressed back into him as their hips moved in rhythm to the pounding dance beat until Blaine spun around with a huge grin. "Now that is what I'm talking about," he beamed.

Kurt couldn't help but smile and Blaine pressed his lips onto Kurt's, sloppy and drunk. Kurt didn't like it but he didn't stop him immediately, willing to put on a show if it put Sebastian in his place. Eventually though Kurt pulled away. They danced the night away together. Sebastian and Cass would join them throughout the evening when they weren't busy grinding up against one another. Kurt enjoyed Cass' company very much, but found that as soon as he took his eyes off Blaine, Sebastian was more than happy to fill his spot and Blaine, on his third beer by the end of the night, was becoming far more willing to oblige than Kurt liked.

As soon as Blaine finished his third beer, Kurt said their goodnights and pulled Blaine out of the bar, wrapping an arm around his shoulder to keep him steady.

"This is the best night of my life," Blaine slurred as he stumbled. "It's the best night. This is ecstasy, Kurt. I want to live here…and I just want to make art…and help people. Help people just like Xavien."

Kurt laughed and rubbed his back as he got him to the car. "Ok, well, you can certainly help make fires with your breath."

"Hey, come on, I only had one beer," Blaine protested.

An alarm went off in Kurt's head, knowing that Blaine had had three. But he ignored it and tried to get Blaine into the car as he opened the back seat.

"Kiss me," Blaine asked, turning around and leaning in, his hands going instantly to Kurt's hips. Kurt said no, but he didn't stop. "Kiss me, come on, kiss me."

"No, Blaine, you ride in the back. Lay down," Kurt insisted as he guided Blaine into the open door. "You're less likely to throw up that way."

"Ok," Blaine agreed, but he pulled Kurt down on top of him as soon he got in. Blaine kissed his neck and pulled Kurt's hips into him, thrusting up so Kurt could feel him underneath. Kurt tried to get away, hating the smell of the beer and the forcefulness of Blaine's actions, but Blaine ignored his protests and kept pulling him down. "Come on. Hey Kurt, let's just do it. I want you. I want you so bad," he begged.

"No Blaine, stop it," Kurt cried. Another alarm went off and Kurt knew he needed to get away before his own anger took over or Blaine did something he'd regret. He needed to take space away from Blaine until he was sober and himself again.

Blaine's eyes though were desperate and haunting. "Look, I know you want it all romantic and stuff, but who cares where we are, it's all about us."

"Right!" Kurt yelled finally breaking free as he backed out of the car. "It's all about us, which is why I don't want to do it on a night where you spend half of it dancing with another guy, and you're sober enough to remember it the next day!"

Blaine got out of the car. "Why are you yelling at me?" he asked angrily as he closed the door behind him.

"Because I've never felt less like being intimate with someone," shouted Kurt, his eyes brimming with tears, "and either you can't tell or you just don't care."

Blaine moved to walk away, but before Kurt knew what was happening, Blaine spun around and slammed Kurt hard into the side of the car. "What the hell is your problem Kurt?" Blaine shouted.

The world stopped turning. Kurt lost his breath and his words as his back hit the cold metal that reminded him all too much of a locker. The only thing he could manage was an expression of pure shock. He was certain where the door handle hit him would bruise. He tried to find the real Blaine in flames of amber, but he saw only a drunk haze of fury, hurt and regret that Kurt didn't recognize. It was as if Blaine was a stranger.

He didn't see where the boys came from, but suddenly Sebastian grabbed Blaine from behind clasping his arms at his side so he couldn't lash out again. Cass put a hand on Kurt's shoulder to get his attention. "Are you okay?" he asked.

He ignored Cass and focused on Sebastian. "Get your hands off of him!" Kurt yelled and Sebastian immediately let go. Blaine stumbled off alone to the bushes where he threw up. "You couldn't keep your damn hands off of him all night! Was this your plan? Plow him with beers and then take advantage of him?"

"No, Kurt, I swear," Sebastian said earnestly, his hands up in surrender.

"I'd never let that happen," Cass told him. "We only wanted him to have a little fun, Kurt. Let loose."

Kurt closed his eyes and scoffed. "Well, he let loose alright. Now if you'll excuse me."

Cass leaned away from the car and Kurt opened the front door slamming it shut behind him. He shifted into gear and sped home. The night had turned into a nightmare quickly, and he wanted to leave it behind as fast as possible.

* * *

Xavien stared between the poker hand in front of him and his cell phone. He didn't know which was more frustrating, being one card shy of a Royal Flush or a call from the program in the middle of the night.

Finally he threw the worthless cards down and answered the phone. "What the hell are you doing calling me at one o'clock in the morning?" he barked into the phone.

The staff on duty, Michael, laughed. "I thought I'd leave you a voicemail so you didn't walk in the door to an incident report on your desk unexpectedly. What the hell are you doing up at one o'clock in the morning, Xavien? Unless you're calling in sick tomorrow morning, you're due here in six hours, and I am not staying a moment longer than that. "

"I'm losing at poker to James and his wife. And I know you're not calling with any good news either, so spill it," he said.

"Sebastian, Cass and Blaine just arrived home 2 hours after curfew, drunk and smelling of incense," Michael sighed.

Xavien joined him and rolled his eyes, glancing up at James for the first time. James mouthed, "Blaine?" and Xavien nodded to him then turned his attention back to the phone. "Let me guess, Scandals?" Xavien said.

"Ding, ding, ding," Michael said. "Score 1 for the home team. Sebastian and Cass didn't seem too phased, but Blaine wants to know if we're gonna call his Dad. I told him that was a conversation he needed to have with you in the morning."

"Good," Xavien said with a deep breath. "I'll talk to James about it. Night." He hung up the phone and gathered his poker chips. "Game over," he frowned.

"What did Blaine do now?" James asked, throwing an apologetic smile to his wife. She just nodded understandingly and began cleaning up the snacks.

"Looks like some of our boys decided it was time to initiate Blaine into the only gay scene in town and took him to Scandals. Got him drunk, who knows what happened. I'll find out more in the morning." Xavien stood up and collected the cards and the chips, putting them away in his case. "He wants to know if we're going to tell his parents."

James sat back in his seat, arms folded, considering. He raised a brow to his friend. "What do you think?"

"I think it's your call, not mine," Xavien smirked. "The joy of being a program director and not a social worker. So what do  _you_  think?"

James was quiet, rolling it all over in his mind. The possibilities were endless, it could go really well or it could go horribly. It was an excellent chance to see if Blaine's Dad especially had truly been making any progress. He always hated risking a kid's emotional and physical safety as a test of parent's commitment to change, but it was almost always necessary. They'd set up safeguards, but it had to be done.

"Call them," James decided. "See if they can come on Monday evening. If Blaine's comfortable with it, he should be the one to tell them. If not you do it, but with Blaine in the room so he knows everything that's being said. He's 17 next week, he's old enough for this.

"So in other words, you're just going to let me handle it," Xavien playfully protested.

But James just smiled and slapped him on the arm. "You're an amazing caseworker, Xavien. You'll be fine."

* * *

Blaine took a shower and washed away the smell of alcohol, vomit and shame. He didn't need it to sober up. He had never been more sober than the moment he saw Kurt's face after he'd pushed him. Blaine had raced away from whoever was holding him to the bushes where he emptied his stomach of the poison that continued to attack, betray and abuse him no matter how hard he tried. And now he had let it hurt Kurt as well. When he finally turned back, Kurt had driven away. Blaine wouldn't blame Kurt if he never wanted to speak to him again, but he prayed that his boyfriend…his best friend…would forgive him. He honestly didn't know if he could survive without him.

He changed into his pajamas and curled into bed, but he got little rest. His sleep was wracked with nightmares. Images of his father's beatings were mixed in with Kurt's terrified expression and he unknowingly tossed and turned all night.

Cass woke up to Blaine's moans and movements and crawled out of his own warm bed, stumbling over to Blaine's. He tucked Blaine's covers under him and climbed on top next to him, wrapping an arm around Blaine in comfort.

"I'm sorry I brought you to Scandals," Cass whispered, hoping maybe Blaine could hear. "I should have known better."

"I'm so sorry Kurt," Blaine cried, his eyes closed but flowing with tears. "I'm sorry, please don't leave me."

"Oh Blaine," Cass sighed and brushed his fingers through the mess of curls until finally the boy quieted and fell into a deeper sleep.

Blaine woke up Sunday morning to an empty room and a splitting headache. He moaned and covered his eyes with his pillow, but the chatter and clanging of pots and pans from the kitchen beneath his bedroom could not be drowned out. He slowly sat up, but his stomach lurched and he quickly lay back down. Suddenly the memories of the night before rose, and he couldn't hold back any longer. He ran to the bathroom and threw up.

When he finished, he went to the sink to rinse his mouth, then decided to dunk his head under the faucet. He held back the tears. He didn't deserve them after what he'd done.

"Feel any better?" Blaine stood up, dripping like a wet and lost puppy, and turned to see Xavien standing in the doorway. Blaine shook his head. He didn't feel better at all. "You're lucky the boys let you sleep in. Cass said you tossed and turned all night."

Blaine looked away and grabbed a towel to dry his hair. "I don't remember," he muttered.

"No, I don't imagine you would," Xavien said thoughtfully. "Get dressed and meet me downstairs in the therapy room in 5," he ordered.

"Should I pack my bags?" Blaine asked, fear and resignation mixed in his voice.

Xavien raised an eyebrow in amusement, the question completely expected. "Planning on going somewhere?"

"No," Blaine said quickly. "I just thought…" he trailed off.

"Well you thought wrong," Xavien told him as he turned to head down the stairs. "Five minutes Anderson," he called behind him.

Blaine made his way to his room, feeling only slightly better knowing that he was staying. It meant he'd have a chance to see Kurt again, though he was filled with dread at the thought of Kurt rejecting him. He'd understand it. Hell, he expected it. But expecting it didn't make the anticipation of that moment any easier.

He trudged down the stairs and straight into the therapy room, his stomach having no interest in the smells wafting in from the kitchen. He chose the egg chair, curling in on himself in the safe cocoon of despair. Xavien sat comfortably on the couch in silence. They sat that way for a good five minutes.

Blaine had nothing to say. The thoughts mulling over in his mind were tumultuous at best, dangerous at worst and he knew that one sentence in to confessing to Xavien the tears would flow and he didn't want that. Xavien was content to live in the silence for a time, but sooner or later Blaine knew that his caseworker would make him talk, and he was right.

"So, here's what I don't understand," Xavien started lightly as if they'd been conversing easily for the last half hour. "I mean, Cass and Sebastian, they've got little to lose. They know that they're safe here and one extremely stupid night isn't going to change that. Sebastian's parents' rights have been terminated, so he doesn't have to answer to them at all, and Cass can do no wrong in his parents' eyes. Not to mention the fact that you brought Kurt into that dangerous situation. So what I don't get, is why you would do it."

Blaine shrugged. "I dunno," he mumbled.

"Ah, but here's the thing, Blaine. I think you do know," he said.

"It doesn't matter, Xavien," Blaine snapped, finally coming out of his literal shell. "It doesn't matter why I did it. The only thing that matters is I got drunk and I hit Kurt, and I'm absolutely no better than my own parents and now I've probably lost him forever, which is good because he doesn't deserve to be with someone like me anyway."

Xavien put his palms together and sat back, his two index fingers pressed against his lips. Blaine was right. For now, the  _why_  didn't matter. The  _what_  was so much more important. "Cass told me you pushed Kurt. He didn't say you hit him."

"Same thing." Blaine curled back up in despondency.

"Is it?" Xavien asked.

Blaine thought back to his father's rages. When he was hit he felt the pain and knew it was almost over. But the push was the start, it was filled with dread and anticipation of worse to come. Kurt's face, eyes wide with fear, mouth slightly open with shock, once again flashed before his eyes and this time he could not stop the tears as he allowed himself to feel the pain he'd caused the love of his life.

"No," Blaine said. "It's worse."

They sat in silence for a moment. Xavien reached over his head to grab a box of tissues from the shelf and he handed them to Blaine who took them silently. There were certainly things that Xavien needed to talk about; the fake IDs, the beer, breaking curfew. They needed to talk about Blaine's parents and how they might react. But none of that would mean anything while this was overwhelming Blaine's mind. Silence was powerful. It gave Blaine time to think, to work things through, and to decide what he needed in this moment.

"What am I going to do?" Blaine asked finally.

"What do you want to do?" Xavien asked.

"Talk to him," Blaine said quietly through his tears. "Tell him how sorry I am. Tell him I don't want to lose him. But how hypocritical is that?"

"It's not hypocritical Blaine, it's honest," Xavien told him. "Tell him how you feel and then put the decision in his hands, where it belongs. Then you and I can work on living with his decision."

Blaine looked up pitifully. "Do you think he'll leave me?"

Xavien shrugged. "I don't know." He leaned forward resting his arms on his knees, as he closed the distance between himself and his client. "What I do know Blaine, is that you're strong enough to survive whatever happens. And you know what else? So is Kurt."

* * *

Just as he avoided Blaine earlier at their lockers, Kurt avoided him now, seeking out Rachel in the auditorium, where he knew she'd spend her lunch period rehearsing. He wasn't disappointed. He found her at the piano stage right, and he crossed the stage to lean on the baby grand while she sang through one of her solos.

_If it were love I would give that love every second I had_   
_And I do_   
_Did I know where he'd lead me to?_   
_Did I plan_   
_Doing all of this for the love of a man?_

Rachel looked up at Kurt sympathetically in the middle of the verse, knowing the words would hit home for him, especially now. He smiled sadly back and joined in. She stopped singing, letting him say what he needed to say. His voice was almost resigned, quiet and introspective.

_Well I let it happen anyhow_   
_And what I'm feeling now_   
_Has no easy explanation_   
_Reason plays no part_   
_Heaven help my heart_   
_I love him too much_

A memory of a day a year ago, on a long spiral staircase flashed in Kurt's mind. Blaine's face, his voice, his smile and then his hand as they ran through a majestic corridor toward a future neither one of them could have imagined.

_What if he saw my whole existence  
Turning around a word, a smile, a touch?_

Rachel took her fingers off the piano and looked up at him, the words and music hanging heavy in the air. "Have you talked to him yet?" she asked gently. She was the only person Kurt had told so far, calling her on Sunday morning when the tears wouldn't stop long enough for him to face his father. She'd said little at the time, merely listening and consoling him.

"No," Kurt said quietly, shaking his head. "I don't know what to say."

"Just say how you feel," she suggested.

He looked out into the dark auditorium almost longingly, then back at Rachel. "I don't know how I feel. How would you feel? If Finn had pushed you?"

Rachel shook her head quickly. "That's different. Finn is twice my size and he hasn't been through what Blaine's been through," she said strongly.

Kurt swallowed in an effort to loosen his throat, but his voice remained tense and drained. "So that makes it okay?" It was an honest question that he'd been asking himself ever since it happened. "Just because he's not bigger than me and he's been through hell?"

"I didn't say it was okay, Kurt, I said it was different." She placed her hands back on the piano keys and started lightly playing again. "It's up to you Kurt, I wouldn't judge you either way. But you have to ask yourself, how would you feel if this was the end?" She picked up her solo where she left off, giving Kurt time to think.

_One of these days, and it won't be long,_  
_he'll know more about me_  
_Than he should_  
_All my dreams will be understood_  
_No surprise_  
_Nothing more to learn from the look in my eyes_

The last thing in the world Kurt thought when he'd picked Blaine up at Sidney House was that that evening would be the end. He didn't want this to be the end. He loved Blaine more than he ever knew he could love someone else. One part of him truly believed that Blaine was perfect, like the song said, and Kurt didn't want to be just another person who abandoned him. But another voice told him clearly that perfect didn't hurt.

The truth was that right now he didn't even know what was going on with him. Blaine was in school today but would he be able to stay or would he be sent away again somewhere else. Contemplating the thought of losing him choked him up, and his voice broke as he sang.

_Don't you know that time is not my friend_  
_I'll fight it to the end_  
 _Hoping to keep that best of moments_  
 _When the passions start_  
 _Heaven help my heart_  
 _The day that I find_  
 _Suddenly I've run out of secrets_  
 _Suddenly I'm not always on his mind_

Losing him terrified Kurt, but now staying did too. The reality of the situation had struck him last night as surely as Blaine nearly had. There was so much about Blaine he didn't know. He still kept so many secrets, so much pain deep inside. How would that look when he finally opened up, when it all came out? If he ever did? What would Blaine do when he felt threatened? Kurt didn't know, and it scared him. _  
_

_Maybe it's best to love a stranger_  
_Well that's what I've done - heaven help my heart_  
_Heaven help my heart  
_

Kurt sighed into his hands, his heart heavy with decisions he didn't want to make, when a soft broken voice startled him from up high on the auditorium stairs.

"Kurt?"

Kurt looked up to see Blaine, thumbs linked nervously in his back pockets. Kurt wondered how long he'd been standing there, how much he had heard.

"I'll leave you two to talk," Rachel told Kurt with a sympathetic smile. He watched as she gathered her music and left backstage.

By the time he turned back, Blaine was at the bottom of the stage steps. "Can we? Talk?" he asked tentatively.

Kurt peered over the piano at Blaine, his chin on his clasped hands, and his heart melted. "Yeah. Of course."

They met center stage, an unfamiliar and unwelcome awkwardness separating them. They watched one another for a minute, both hesitant and uneasy about their thoughts and what had happened. Kurt tried to break the silence. "I don't know what to say," he muttered.

"Then don't talk, let me." Blaine's voice caught in his throat, his eyes glittering with unshed tears. Seeing him like that broke Kurt's heart. "I know that I don't deserve your forgiveness. But I am so, so sorry Kurt. I hope you know that I would never ever want to hurt you. I love you, Kurt, more than anything in the world, and what I did to you…" he bowed his head in shame and the tears broke free.

"I know Blaine," Kurt whispered, taking Blaine's hand as his own tears began to fall. Seeing Blaine in pain made his heart ache in ways he never thought imaginable, because he had no idea if this time he could stand by him.

"Please, let me finish," Blaine begged. "I know what it means to stand where you are and to hear the apologies and to believe them…to want desperately to believe them. My father told my mother and me that he was sorry hundreds of times Kurt, and every time I think he believed it, he seemed so sincere. And every time we'd forgive him and pray there wouldn't be a next time, but Kurt there always was." Blaine wiped the tears from his face, but more kept falling in their place. "Kurt I don't want to lose you," he sobbed.

Kurt took Blaine's other hand and pulled him close placing their clasped hands on their hearts. "Blaine you are not going to lose me," he vowed as he pulled himself together, strong and tall. "But I'm also not going to let you hurt me. We have been through that too much already Blaine. We've had enough violence in our lives between Karofsky and your parents, and I'm not going to let more violence or alcohol come between us. So no more, Blaine. If you drink again, I'm walking away until you are sober. You do that on your own, understood?"

"I'm not drinking again, Kurt, I swear," Blaine said emphatically.

"And I won't let you put your hands on me again," Kurt declared. "Not like that."

"Promise me Kurt," Blaine pleaded. "Promise me that if I ever hurt you again you'll let me go. Even if I beg you to stay, you have to promise me that you'll let me go. Please, I know how easy it is to trust, to come back again and again. I don't want that for you. So please promise me."

Kurt reached up and cupped Blaine's cheeks, wiping the tears with a gentle caress. "Blaine Anderson, I will love you forever, and you will always be my best friend. But I promise, I won't let you hurt me again."

It was a promise Kurt would never break.

Relief flooded through Blaine's veins as his heart started beating again for the first time since he'd lashed out. "May I kiss you?" he asked softly.

"No." Kurt said. Blaine's face fell, but Kurt raised it with a finger on his chin. Their eyes met and a million emotions swam between them. "But I'm going to kiss you," Kurt whispered.

Blaine's lips started to turn up, but Kurt stopped them with his own as he wrapped his arms around Blaine's neck pulling him close. The taste of salt as their tears mixed and fell on their tongues only added to the realness of the moment. This was a shedding of innocence, as they grew to understand that love wasn't only about savoring what comes easy, but about confronting life's most difficult challenges together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heaven Help My Heart and One Night in Bangkok, both from Chess


	13. No Contest

It felt like years, but way too soon, before their lips parted. Kurt rested his forehead on Blaine's and they breathed in each other's air. "I love you so much it scares me," Kurt whispered.

Blaine felt like the words ought to have hurt him, but instead, with all that had happened, he found them reassuring. He was scared too. Part of him wanted to just let go of the other night, but knowing that Kurt still loved him despite it all meant everything to him. He couldn't go from here with anything left unsaid. "I'm sorry, Kurt. You were right. Our first time shouldn't be like that. I shouldn't have…" he bowed his head and bit his lip.

"Blaine, don't," Kurt said gently, not wanting to dwell anymore on what had happened.

"No, please." Blaine needed everything about that night to be out in the open. "Please let me finish. I was thinking about this all day yesterday and I have to say it."

"Ok," Kurt agreed quietly.

"I thought," Blaine swallowed, the words getting caught in his throat. "I thought that I was ready. And that I was waiting for you. But..." His eyes shined with unshed tears. "But I have so much more work to do before I give myself to you. You deserve better."

Kurt cupped Blaine's face and brushed his cheek. "Don't be like that Blaine. You are amazing. You're hurt, I get that, but we'll get through this."

"I'm broken, Kurt, and I don't want to be like this when we…" He wrapped his arms around Kurt and pulled their bodies close together. Their hearts raced as the heat and energy passed between them. "You deserve a better me, Kurt. And I'm going to work really hard to make that happen. And I hope you'll wait for me."

Blaine looked up at Kurt, eyes scared and hopeful at the same time. They both stood still as Blaine's words echoed in their minds. It seemed strange to them that at a time when neither of them felt more ready to take that step, having survived the fall over the emotional precipice from childhood to adulthood, that both of them knew it wasn't the right time. But then again, maybe it was their new found maturity that made them understand; Blaine had so much more healing to do before they would truly be ready. Nevertheless, Kurt couldn't completely hide his yearning with Blaine pressed up against him.

"So, when will we know you're ready?" he asked, a little breathless with desire.

"When I go home," Blaine answered surely.

Kurt faltered and swallowed before responding carefully. "What if you don't go home?"

Blaine took a deep breath. "I can't live like this forever, Kurt. One way or another, I'll go home soon."

Kurt caught the promise in Blaine's eye, and smiled. Blaine understood that there was always a home waiting for him. "Then I'll wait for you until then," Kurt said.

The bell rang and they both startled as the outside world disturbed their silence. They laughed softly as time started again and they remembered they were in the middle of their school day. "See you at rehearsal?" Kurt said with a kiss on the cheek.

"Can't wait," Blaine beamed.

Blaine watched Kurt gather up his belongings from the piano and leave backstage toward his math class. He jogged down the stairs to get his bag that he'd left below and headed out the side door closest to his locker. In the throng of students racing to and from the lunchroom in between classes, he fuddled with the lock, his thoughts still on the auditorium stage and a promise of tomorrow that he had nearly given up. Absentmindedly he swapped out his books for the afternoon, returning his old to his locker and placing the new ones in his messenger bag. He paid no attention to the world around him, so was completely taken by surprise when he was forcibly turned around and slammed against the locker.

He looked up to see Finn staring down at him, eyes blazing. "You think you can just push my little brother around?" Finn accused.

Blaine's mind swam as he calculated the risk to his safety, wondered how Finn knew, then panicked that Burt knew as well, fought back the guilt and reached for his long learned survival skills all in a matter of seconds. He rushed out the only question he could think of to stall as he considered his next move. "Did Kurt say something?"

Finn looked at him with disgust. "No, dude, he kept your little secret. Something you're really good at," he snarled. "But we live in the same house. I heard him crying all morning yesterday on the phone with Rachel. "

Blaine's heart fell to the floor as that image flashed in his mind, but he refused to let it show as he reached a hand out to close his locker and stood defiant. "It's none of your business, Finn, just stay out of it." He moved to leave, but Finn was much bigger and held him back against the lockers with one hand on his chest.

"Like hell, it's none of my business," Finn snapped. "I let things go with Karofsky for way too long and I'm not doing that again. You think I don't know what guys like you are like?"

Blaine's eyes narrowed. "Guys like who?" Blaine questioned slowly, trying to control his breathing and the ringing in his ears.

"Is there a problem here boys?" Two sets of eyes snapped up to see Mr. Schuester approaching, his arms crossed.

Blaine and Finn's eyes once again locked on the other, but they physically separated, Finn's hand dropping to his side. "No problem," they answered simultaneously without a second glance to their teacher.

Mr. Schuester eyed the situation carefully and knew there was far more to the story, but he was willing to let it go if it ended there. "Then I suggest you two move along," he urged.

Their stare lingered for a moment. "This isn't over, Anderson," Finn whispered as he took off toward his class. Blaine exhaled and closed his eyes as he relaxed against the locker. He felt exhausted. It had taken every ounce of strength to neither fight nor flee.

"You alright?" Mr. Scheuster asked quietly.

Blaine's eyes flung open and he grabbed the strap of his bag. "Yeah, I'm fine," he said and walked off in the opposite direction.

Three steps down the hall and Sheila seemed to come out of nowhere, stopping him head on. "You should have just punched him."

"No," Blaine said as he stepped around her.

"Sometimes it's better to just be who they think we are," she called down the hallway.

Blaine stopped and slowly turned. The hallways were emptying and there was no one between him and her. He walked back to her slowly. "It may be easier," he said quietly. "But it's not better." The bell was moments from ringing, but neither of them cared. "I refuse to give up Shelia, on myself or on my family."

"You think you and your rich ass family are better than me and mine?" she sneered.

Blaine shook his head. "No. I don't think we're better than you. But I think we're better than this. I  _know_  I'm better than this, and you could be too," he added. "I'm going to do everything I can to make sure I'm not like my parents. And that means not being the person that Finn Hudson thinks I am." His head dropped. "Not being the person I almost was."

The bell rang, and he hitched his bag, leaving Sheila staring after him. He wasn't going to let Finn Hudson get him down. Today was a new start.

* * *

_Nothing is so good it lasts eternally_   
_Perfect situations must go wrong_   
_But this has never yet prevented me_   
_Wanting far too much for far too long._   
_Looking back I could have played it differently_   
_Won a few more moments who can tell_   
_But it took time to understand the man_   
_Now at least I know I know him well_

_Wasn't it good?_   
_Wasn't he fine?_   
_Isn't it madness_   
_He can't be mine?  
_

Blaine and Kurt sat next to each other in the audience a few rows back as Rachel and Santana rehearsed their duet on stage. The boys' hands were clasped tight, their breath stolen from them and Blaine started to sweat with anxiety at the words the girls beautifully sang. He knew that it was just a song for the show, it wasn't even about his character, it was about Kurt's. But he couldn't help but hear his own story in the words and he knew that Kurt did too.

_No one in your life is with you constantly_   
_No one is completely on your side_   
_And though I move my world to be with him_   
_Still the gap between us is too wide._

_Looking back I could have played things some other way_   
_Looking back I could have played it differently_   
_Learned about the man before I fell_   
_I was just a little careless maybe_   
_But I was ever so much younger then_   
_Now at least_   
_I know him well_

Blaine choked back a sob as he listened. He felt Kurt squeeze his hand, knowing what Blaine was thinking, and he leaned his head on Blaine's shoulder. "That's not us," Kurt whispered. Blaine nodded, but they both knew it could be. One mistake made, one promise kept, and someday it could be them.

Blaine's attention was pulled to another set of eyes boring into him, glaring at the two boys so close. Finn watched them, anger, maybe even hatred, seething. Blaine did nothing though, except pull Kurt closer and lay his lips on top of Kurt's head in reassurance for them both.

_Wasn't it good?_   
_Wasn't he fine?_   
_Isn't it madness he won't be mine?_

_But in the end he needs a little bit more than me -_   
_More security_   
_He needs his fantasy and freedom_

_I know him so well_   
_It took time to understand him_   
_I know him so well_

"Ok, good job ladies, that was beautiful, there won't be a dry eye in the house!" Artie called from the floor. "Take a break you two," he said and Santana and Rachel rushed off the stage. Artie turned to look at the cast members spread around the auditorium. "Ok, Blaine and Finn. Let's do  _No Contest_."

Blaine's eyes darted back and forth, as Kurt lifted his head and patted him on the leg to go. He hadn't told Kurt, or anyone, about Finn's confrontation in the hallway and Mr. Schuester wasn't there. He glanced quickly at Ms. Pillsbury, but her expression didn't read concern, and he assumed that Mr. Schuester hadn't yet shared with her what had happened. He nervously got up and took his place on the stage with Finn. The pianist started immediately. Finn jumped right in as if he had been waiting for this moment all day. His anger at Blaine fueled him.

_FINN:_   
_You take care you don't let_   
_Their shenanigans blind you_   
_And you're wrong to forget_   
_You've got your country behind you._

The words belonged to their characters but those characters were forgotten, the emotion behind the words the same. Blaine wasn't going to let Finn tell him or Kurt what they could and could not do. He had no right to dictate anything. Finn had turned on him the moment he'd been pulled from his home, giving up any say in what happened between Blaine and his brother.

_BLAINE:_   
_You're a fool if you think you can wave a flag_   
_And inspire some dramatic action_   
_If I want bad enough then it's in the bag_   
_If I don't you're a mere distraction._

Kurt stared at his brother and his boyfriend as Finn and Blaine went at each other full throttle, nearly spitting the words back at one another. He felt like he was watching a boxing match and though it fit the scene, he grew increasingly uneasy. He didn't see the characters on that stage, he saw Finn and Blaine and his stomach fluttered with anxiety. Something was coming to a head and he felt ill prepared to deal with it.

_FINN:_   
_You taught me, baby_   
_How the few who win acquire_   
_What their hearts desire_   
_It ain't practice, it ain't skill_   
_They'll help but not as much as wanting will._

_BLAINE:_   
_No contest, baby!_   
_Pay no mind to reputation_   
_You want concentration?_   
_When they pick him off the floor_   
_It's 'cause I wanted it a little more._

All Finn heard in Blaine's voice and his words was Kurt being hurt by a heartless Blaine. It infuriated him. As soon as he had learned the truth about Blaine he had feared for his brother's safety. Apples didn't fall far from trees, and if Blaine's father was an abusive drunk then he had every reason to believe that Blaine would be as well. He'd seen him at the party last year. He knew that Blaine had kissed Rachel. And now he knew that Blaine had gotten drunk and pushed Kurt. There couldn't be a next time, he couldn't tolerate it. He'd allowed Kurt to be hurt once, but never again.

_FINN:_   
_You can win, you can lose_   
_Take or be a possession_   
_You taught me how to choose_   
_And the key is obsession._

_BLAINE:_   
_See my eyes, are they safe, are they even sane?_   
_Are they warm when they seem to greet you?_   
_You don't know, you can't tell, but it should be plain_   
_These are eyes that are gonna beat you_

Blaine forgot everyone else in the room. He concentrated on Finn's eyes and all he saw was the boy growing angrier by the second until he was coiled and ready to strike. Blaine's jaw tightened and his fists clenched as he struggled to keep the fire that was burning strong in his own gut from exploding on stage, using all of his strength to channel it into the character and the lyrics of the song. He wouldn't back down, but he wouldn't strike.

_BLAINE:_   
_Don't ever tell me_   
_I don't know the way to play it_   
_Do I have to say it?_   
_Doesn't matter what he tries_   
_I have him, you can see it in the eyes._

The words coming out of Blaine's mouth were threats in Finn's mind and he'd heard enough. He missed his cue as his hands sprung into action and he shoved Blaine hard across the stage. Blaine's voice wailed in mid song as all his breath escaped. The music stopped and gasps sprang from the auditorium as everyone watched Finn charge him. Blaine threw his arms up in surrender as Puck and Kurt raced up the stairs to the stage to stop the brawl. Kurt grabbed Blaine around his waist as Puck did the same with Finn, only Finn continued to fight with Puck to get free.

"You can dish it out but you can't take it, can you Anderson?" Finn spat.

"Finn!" Kurt gasped in outrage.

Blaine didn't fight Kurt's hold, but he continued to seethe at Finn's words. "You have no idea what I can take, I've been taking it for years now, far worse than anything you can dish out!" he yelled, not caring one bit who else was around them. "You know what Finn? I don't have time for this. I have to go back to the program…where I  _live_ ," he added in emphasis, "so I can meet with my father and possibly have him beat the shit out of me for what I've done. So you'll excuse me if I only feel like taking one beating a day."

He broke free from Kurt's loosened grip and jumped off the stage, snagging his bag quickly from the seats. He climbed the auditorium stairs two by two until he stormed out the front door.

Kurt raced after him and caught up in the school lobby. "Blaine, wait," he called breathlessly.

Blaine turned and seeing Kurt was alone, he stopped. "I'm okay Kurt. Really. I don't care what others think, the only one that matters is you."

Kurt wrapped him in his arms and nuzzled into his neck. They stood in the empty hallway just holding one another. "Do you have to go back?" Kurt asked sadly after a few minutes.

"Yeah," he said, breathing in Kurt's calming scent. "My Dad is coming. I have to tell him about Scandals…the fake ID, the drinking, breaking curfew."

"You don't really think…" Kurt worried.

"Xavien will be in the room, Kurt," Blaine assured him, though he himself was terrified it wouldn't matter. He knew full well that tonight could be a game changer. "I'm safe. I just said that stuff because I was mad."

"Because it would have been true. Before," Kurt acknowledged sadly.

Blaine sighed and nodded. "Yes, it would have been true before."

"And now?" he questioned looking at Blaine.

Blaine brushed Kurt's fallen hair off his face, and his fingers traced behind his ear. "Now, I'll probably be on restriction for at least a week. Maybe more. Which means nothing but school and home."

"Your birthday," Kurt frowned. He'd been planning to celebrate this weekend with a romantic date and overnight, but now it seemed like he might have to put those ideas on hold.

Blaine shrugged, reading Kurt's thoughts. "We'll celebrate another day." He kissed Kurt lightly on the forehead, lingering for a moment. "I have to go," he whispered. "I may not be able to text or call tonight. Pretty sure my phone privileges will be gone."

"I'll have my dad call and check on you," Kurt told him.

Blaine's eyes fell and his stomach quickly screwed up in knots. "Does your Dad know? What I did, I mean?"

Kurt shook his head. "No. I thought maybe we could talk to him together?" Kurt asked with a raised brow.

Blaine thought about it. He wanted Burt to know, to be aware of the dangers, so that he could protect Kurt. Blaine needed someone he trusted, not Finn and not his parents, who would hold him accountable. He needed a father. "I'd like that," Blaine agreed.

Their fingers lingered, intertwined as Blaine went to leave. "I'll see you tomorrow," he said, knowing that tomorrow he could be a very different person than he was right now.

"See you tomorrow," Kurt answered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I Know Him So Well" and "No Contest" from Chess. I hope you listen to them if you don't know them. They are both amazing songs.


	14. Trouble

The sight of his parents' car in the driveway of Sidney House paralyzed him. He grew light headed and felt like he was going to either throw up or pass out, both of which seemed like better options than going inside to face his father. He leaned his head on the steering wheel, closed his eyes, and tried to breathe and calm his racing heart. In and out, slow and deep, like Xavien had taught him. His attempt utterly failed though when a knock on the car window startled him back to reality.

Xavien climbed into the passenger seat and closed the door behind him. "Planning on going inside at all or are you going to sit out here all night?" his caseworker asked smartly.

"Sitting out here is sounding like a pretty good plan," Blaine grumbled.

"Your mom's inside."

Blaine's eyes shot up; surprise, then happiness, then fear rushing through him in a matter of seconds. "Is she clean?" he asked, dreading the answer.

"Yes," Xavien told him. "They both had drug screens and breathalyzers about two hours ago. And they look good." Blaine closed his eyes. That meant she'd been clean for at least three days. "I wouldn't let them in if they were using," Xavien said in a soft, assuring voice. "But you don't have to do this if you don't want to."

Blaine swallowed his fear and begged his racing heart to slow. "No," he breathed. "I'm ready."

The two got out of the car, and went inside. With both of his parents in the other room, it suddenly felt strange to Blaine how quickly Sidney House had started to feel more like home to him than his actual home. Some of the girls were knitting or reading on the couch in the living room while he heard Tyler helping Nicholas in the kitchen with his homework. He assumed Sebastian and Cass were keeping themselves scarce with Blaine's parents here. They still hadn't talked about that night, and Blaine wasn't sure how he felt about them right now. But even with all that, as the girls smiled hello at him, he realized how safe and protected he felt within these walls. He belonged here, right now more than anywhere else. And he didn't want his parents ruining that for him.

Xavien slung an arm over his shoulder as they headed to the visiting room. "Doesn't matter what happens in that room," Xavien told him, knowing what Blaine was thinking. "You're here until you don't need to be anymore. Whether that's next month, or when you turn 18."

Xavien opened the door and walked in first, Blaine following close behind. John Anderson sat at the table on the far side in front of the windows to the outside. Xavien walked around and stood near him, leaning on the windows ledge. Theresa Anderson stood, away from his father, against the wall. She appeared tense and angry with her arms crossed and her brow furrowed. Her eyes softened some when Blaine walked into the room. But he closed the door behind him and shrunk into the corner as far from his parents as he could.

He remembered the days at home, after Cooper had left, after he'd come out, when he'd done something wrong. His father would say nothing as he turned and headed out the door. His mother would glare at him, angry that he'd driven his father to the brink once again. Blaine would go to his room and wait for the horrible sound of the garage door opening, the drunk fumbling of keys in the lock, and the heavy footsteps up the stairs. He shivered and wrapped his arms around himself.

"Blaine and I asked you to come here today so we could talk to you about a recent incident. We like to include parents when at all possible so we can all be on the same page." Xavien looked at Blaine. The boy had a very faraway look in his eye, standing completely protectively as if trying to disappear. "Blaine," Xavien said quietly as he walked over to him. He slowly came to with a blink and met Xavien's gaze. "Still with me?"

Blaine's lip turned up in a small smile and nodded.

"It's your choice what you want to do here. You can tell them, I can tell them and you stay, or you can leave the room. Whatever you want."

"I want to tell them," Blaine choked out. He had to do this. He had to see their reaction first hand. He needed to know for sure if going home was possible or not. Xavien nodded and returned to the window, giving Blaine some space.

Blaine waited for his nerves to settle but they only seemed to get worse as he looked from his mother's stern face to his father's confused and worried one. Mr. Anderson leaned forward. "Blaine, son. It's not like it was, okay? No one's going to hurt you, just tell us what's going on."

His father's eyes looked sincere and Blaine took a deep breath. "A few friends and I decided to go to a bar the other night."

"Blaine Devon Anderson!" His mother was the first to yell from across the room and Blaine slinked back into the corner as far as he could. His father put a hand out to quiet her. She stared at them both, but shut her mouth and stood with her hands on her hips.

"Go on, son," John said calmly.

Blaine looked at his shoes as he scraped at the cuticles on his fingers. His voice was so low they had to strain to hear it, but he blurted out the rest to get it over with. "We got fake ids. We drank. We were late for curfew."

"I can't believe this," Theresa muttered under her breath and then her eyes flew up to Xavien's. "What the hell kind of place are you running here?"

"It's not Xavien's fault!" Blaine shouted, coming immediately to his caseworker's defense. "I just did it, Mom, I just wanted to be a normal kid for once!"

"And what bar is it  _normal_  for kids to go to around here?" She spat.

"I think maybe we need a little time to cool down," Xavien suggested.

Blaine looked pleadingly at his Dad when John's eyes snapped with recognition at his wife's question. Blaine froze. "Answer your mother's question, Blaine," he ordered evenly.

It was the one thing that scared him more than anything else. He could handle the rest, but the fact that he'd gone to a gay bar was exactly the type of thing that would have tipped his father over the edge. It would have driven him out of the house. It would have driven him to drink. It still could.  Once again, Blaine could bring his father to his breaking point. He would never go home and this time it really would be all his fault. But he wouldn't run away, not this time.

"We went to Scandals," Blaine whispered.

The room was silent for a minute as no one moved. Then the scrape of his father's chair on the linoleum floor startled them all. "I think Xavien is right," he said as he got up. "I think some time to cool down would be good."

Blaine raced out the door and took the steps up to his room two by two not wanting to know if his parents were going or staying. His vision was cloudy and his head was spinning as he flung himself into his room and onto his bed, not even seeing that Cass and Sebastian were waiting for him.

His breathing was fast as he came down out of his panic and Cass sat on his bed and rubbed his back until it passed.

"That bad, huh?" Sebastian blurted flippantly. "Makes me glad my parents are long gone from the picture."

"Shut up, Sebastian," Blaine muttered, his head buried in the pillow.

"Come on," Cass said gently. "Sit up and tell us what happened."

Blaine did as Cass told him and leaned up against his wall, but he shrugged his shoulders. "Not much happened really," he said, now that he thought about it. "I told them what we did, my Mom freaked out at Xavien and my Dad called for a break."

Cass smiled. "So maybe it's a little too soon to panic?"

Blaine rolled his eyes. "Says the guy who can do absolutely nothing wrong in his parents' eyes."

"Which is the only reason that I'm not downstairs having the exact same conversation with my folks," Cass said.

"Cassanova Arlington, the only boy in the world who gets taken away because his parents love him too much," Sebastian teased. "Cass' Mom's only concern would be that he'd had enough to drink. And his Dad's only concern would be that he got laid by the most handsome guy in the bar," Sebastian smirked.

"At least they wouldn't be selling me to the highest bidder," Cass quickly retorted, then clapped a hand over his mouth. Sebastian went quiet. Blaine looked warily between them. "I'm sorry, Bas, I shouldn't have said that."

"No," Sebastian said as he stormed angrily out the door. "You shouldn't have."

Cass immediately followed his friend out the door yelling, "Bas, stop, I'm sorry…" and nearly ran into Xavien as he entered the boys' room.

"Should I even ask?" Xavien inquired with a mix of worry and amusement.

"Probably not," Blaine sighed, leaning his head back against the wall and closing his eyes.

"Those two are going to be a couple the minute they leave this place," Xavien mused as he closed the door behind him.

Blaine looked up and raised an eyebrow. "You think so?"

"Honestly, I'm amazed they've held out this long." Xavien pulled out one of the two desk chairs in the room and straddled it backwards, leaning his arms on the back. "Your parents are waiting downstairs."

"They are?" Blaine asked surprised. He'd expected them both to leave.

"They are," Xavien said. "And they both want to see you."

Blaine lowered his eyes. He wasn't sure. "They're mad," he said.

"Your Mom is mad at what you did. Especially getting drunk. She doesn't take too kindly to you acting out, does she?" Xavien probed. Blaine shook his head, tears threatening but not falling. "That's probably something we should talk about some more." Blaine hesitated, then nodded. She always left him alone if his father was drunk. But when his father did nothing, she was the one he had to answer to. He imagined it would be like that if he ever went home.

"And Dad?" Blaine asked, his heart in his throat.

Xavien smiled. "Sometimes, when we hurt the people we love, we blame ourselves for their behavior. Even when we have nothing to do with it."

Blaine was quiet. "He blames himself," he said under his breath, to himself more than anyone else. "Did you tell him anything else?" He didn't know if he wanted his parents to know what had happened with Kurt, but if Xavien had already told them…

"The rest is yours to tell, Blaine, if you want to," Xavien told him. "All they need to know are the reasons you're under restriction and can't go off campus this weekend for a visit with your Dad and the Hummels like we'd planned."

"Ok," Blaine said, getting off the bed and gathering his courage. "Let's do this."

They went downstairs together. "They've moved over to the library, since it's more comfortable. Is that okay?" Blaine nodded and they went in.

A couch sat in the right hand corner where his Dad sat. His mother sat in an armchair facing him. Blaine looked between the couch and the empty armchair, deciding where to sit. Not wanting to take sides, he settled in the armchair as Xavien perched himself gracefully on the arm of the couch, and waited.

He didn't have to wait long. "Blaine, we're very disappointed in your behavior," his mother started.

"Why did you come today, Mom?" The questioned startled everyone, Blaine included, but it was something gnawing at the back of his mind and apparently the serenity of the library made him able to ask. "I mean, you miss visit after visit, you leave me stranded for hours waiting for you. I've been worried sick that you're high, or too battered to visit or that something else horrible has happened, and I wasn't there to protect you. But as soon as I've done something wrong, you come running? Why?" His voice came out slightly strangled, but he sounded braver than he felt.

Theresa immediately softened as tears threatened. "Blaine," she sighed.

"You know, it was really hard to get your attention growing up," Blaine said, lost in his own thoughts. "Sometimes I would misbehave just to have you notice me. It didn't matter that the attention wasn't good, it was just nice to be noticed sometimes. And then when Dad got worse and started hurting you, I'd act out so he'd come after me instead. So maybe that's what I did this time," Blaine shook his head trying to figure it out in his own mind. "I dunno."

"Blaine." John leaned forward and put a hand on his son's knee. "Your mom and I are going to try really hard to fix this. Whatever Xavien decides for you in this is fine. Right now he knows better than we do." Theresa opened her mouth to argue but John shot her a look and she closed it.

Xavien cleared his throat and their attention all turned to him. "Blaine is on restriction until next Monday. I know, Mr. Anderson, you were planning on taking Blaine off campus for his birthday, but it will have to wait until the following weekend."

"It's okay," Blaine whispered, then looked to his Mom hopefully. "Will you come visit me here this week? I mean, just to see me?"

She smiled and took his hand. "I definitely will."

Xavien excused himself as the family spent some time alone talking. He watched from a distance through the door he kept open peeking in every once in a while to check in. It would never cease to amaze him how much a child could forgive. But it shouldn't have really surprised him anymore. All any child truly wanted from their parents was love.

* * *

It was Burt and Kurt's day to wash the dishes after dinner. Carole and Finn went off to "talk" which Kurt could only assume meant Finn was in trouble for his fight with Blaine that day. He took a washed plate from his Dad, and silently wiped it dry, lost in his own thoughts of worry and guilt. Burt of course, didn't miss a thing.

"Something you want to talk about son," he wondered with a knowing glance.

Kurt looked back. He knew there was no way he'd get out of this unscathed, but he promised Blaine. "Do you think you could call the program tonight and make sure Blaine's okay?" he asked.

"Sure," Burt said without hesitation. "Was there a problem today?"

"He um…he got into some trouble and his parents are at the House tonight for them to talk about it," Kurt told him.

Burt was quiet for a minute, rinsing the last bowl and handing it off to Kurt before shutting the water off. He turned around to lean on the counter. "What kind of trouble?" Burt wondered suspiciously.

"It's no big deal, Dad," Kurt lied.

"Doesn't sound like no big deal if you're this worried about him," Burt commented. He gave his son a moment to continue, but Kurt didn't, his silence dripping with guilt. "This trouble something I should know about?" he prodded, watching Kurt carefully.

Kurt sighed. He'd gotten away with it all so far, but now it was time to face the music. He put the bowl away, folded the towel and sat back down at the kitchen table. Burt knew his son well enough to know that this was not going to be a quick or easy conversation. He grabbed his coffee and sat down, waiting for Kurt to start.

Kurt traced his finger on the table, carefully studying the lines in the wood instead of his father's eyes which were sure to be full of disappointment in only a few seconds. "Remember the other night when Blaine and I went to the movies?"

"Mmhmm." Burt said against his coffee mug, ready for the shoe to drop.

"Well…" Kurt braced himself, then raced through the words. "We didn't go to the movies, we went to Scandals."

It took Burt by surprise. Kurt didn't lie to him as far as he knew, especially about where he was going to be late at night. Sure, Kurt did dumb things every once in a while, but never had he betrayed his trust like this before. "And how exactly did you get into a bar, Kurt?" he asked, trying to stay even keeled.

"Sebastian," Kurt explained, his nerves fraying already. "He had fake IDs for us."

Burt took all the information in. Blaine and Kurt went to a gay bar, where they had to be over 21, using illegal IDs, with at least Sebastian, about whom Kurt had nothing but terrible things to say. And as he and Kurt had this conversation, Blaine was back at Sidney House having the exact same conversation with the parents he'd been taken from because of their abuse. His eyes narrowed, disappointment and not just a touch of anger flaring. "And were you planning on telling me any of this? Or were you planning on sending Blaine into the lion's den while you tried to escape your own responsibility in this?" he challenged.

Kurt looked up horrified. "No! I swear Dad, I was going to tell you, I just…" his eyes dropped, hating the look in his father's face, but not wanting to reveal anymore about that night alone. "Blaine and I wanted to talk to you together."

Burt studied him. And he knew he hadn't heard the whole truth yet. "There's more to this story," he said knowing the answer.

Kurt nodded uneasily, but said no more.

"Ok," Burt said, getting up from his chair and turning away to think. He rubbed a hand over his face. He missed the days when Kurt was a little boy and things like this were easier. Even though it had been nine years, he missed having Kurt's mother around to guide him. She would have been so much better at these things than he was. He turned back to Kurt. "Ok, I'm good with you and Blaine finishing this conversation together, but you're grounded until that happens."

Kurt's face flashed with alarm but he quickly tempered it at Burt's warning glance. "Blaine thinks he's going to be on restriction for a week. Which means he won't be able to come over until next Friday." Eleven days.

"Well, then that will give you a good long time to think about how much danger you put yourself and Blaine in by illegally going to a bar full of older men who were most likely drunk and ready to prey on young high school kids looking for a good time," Burt said. "Now, I suggest you go upstairs and put on your pajamas. I think it's gonna be an early night in this house for everyone."

"I'm sorry Dad," Kurt said as he got up and pushed his chair in.

Burt walked over and pulled Kurt into his arms. "I love you, Kurt. Always will. Nothing you do can change that." Burt kissed him on the forehead then gave him a tap on the hip to head upstairs.

Burt sighed once Kurt was gone and wandered into the living room where he dropped into his arm chair, exhausted. Carole sauntered in and sat on the arm of the chair, draping her legs lightly over her husband. She laid her head on his shoulder. "How many more days until college?" she joked.

Burt chuckled and kissed her softly on the lips. "Not enough," Burt told her as she snuggled down into him. "Not nearly enough."

* * *

Kurt grabbed his pajamas, then went down the hall to take a shower. He dropped his clothes onto the counter, but a swear from Finn's room drew his attention and he went to check on his stepbrother. Kurt stood in Finn's doorway, his arms crossed, watching as his brother cleaned his room. Finn pulled papers and clothing out from under his bed, not noticing his audience until he came up for air to sort his findings. Their eyes met and Finn searched Kurt's, looking for any clue as to whether or not Kurt was mad at him, but Kurt revealed nothing. Finn brushed the dust off of his pants. "Look, Kurt, I was just trying…" he started.

"Stop," Kurt ordered, and Finn stood silent as Kurt entered Finn's room, closing the door quietly behind him, and leaned against his desk. "I appreciate what you thought you were doing for me," Kurt eventually said.

Finn arched a brow and sat on his bed. "But?" he asked, waiting for the inevitable.

Kurt shook his head. "No but," he said.

Finn relaxed, and gave a small, relieved smile. "Thanks."

They stayed in silence. Kurt chewed his lip, mulling over his thoughts while Finn wondered if it could really be this easy, if maybe he'd done the right thing despite others saying he hadn't.

"Did you tell your Mom the fight was with Blaine?" Kurt asked finally.

"No," Finn assured him. "Principal Figgins said he couldn't reveal the other student's identity and Mom didn't ask."

"Thanks," Kurt said softly.

"I did it for you, Kurt," Finn told him. "Not for him."

Kurt knew that. He understood. But he had to make Finn understand as well. "You know what my Dad did when I told him I was gay?" Kurt asked suddenly. Finn shook his head. "He hugged me." Kurt slipped his hands into his pockets. "Do you know what Blaine's father did when he came out?" Kurt kept his eyes trained on Finn and waited for an answer.

"No," Finn admitted quietly.

"He left the house, got drunk, and then came back and beat the crap out of him. See, that's what his Dad always did when Blaine told him something he didn't want to hear," Kurt said.

Finn felt his cheeks redden. "I didn't know that," he said, starting to feel a bit guilty.

"You remember what my Dad did when I was being bullied at school?" Kurt continued. "He did everything he could to protect me. When Blaine was bullied for going to a dance with another boy, his father taught him a lesson by beating him so badly he ended up in the hospital." 

Finn's stomach tied in knots. He had known a little bit, but he hadn't known it was that bad. "Kurt, dude, I'm sorry. I just…You see all those things on tv shows and the news about foster kids. About how they use drugs and get in trouble and are just no good and foster care can make them violent. I'm just scared for you. You're my brother."

"You know why that happens, Finn?" Kurt challenged. "It's because people stop loving them. People stop supporting them. They lose hope. They stop believing in themselves and start believing that they have nothing left to lose. We can't let that happen to Blaine. I won't let it happen to him. No matter what, Finn, we're his family. New Directions sticks together and to not have everyone behind him and fighting for him, well, it's awful. I understand how Mercedes feels, the police coming to her house and all, but you're the leader Finn, they'll follow your lead."

"I just want you to be safe, Kurt," he said with such sincerity that it erased any anger Kurt still felt for him. Kurt went and sat next to him on the bed.

"I am safe, Finn," Kurt reassured him. "I'm not that kid I was with Karofsky anymore. Blaine's helped me become stronger than that. And I'm not going to let anyone, Blaine included, hurt me. I promised him that, and I'll promise you that."

Finn's eyes widened in surprise. "You promised Blaine that?"

"I did," Kurt confirmed. "So tomorrow I hope you'll go to school and start fresh with him."

Finn lowered his eyes. "I can't, Kurt."

Kurt stood up angrily, his hands on his hips. "Why the hell not?"

Finn looked at him sheepishly. "I've been suspended for two days," he admitted, then quickly added. "But I promise as soon as I get back, I'll talk to him. And everyone else. You're right, we've been treating him awfully. And it's gonna change."


	15. Keep Holding On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "The psychological trauma created by the removal [of a child from their parents' home] combined with the neglect or abuse that preceded it, leaves [a] child forever changed and forever different from other children."- Children's Advocacy Institute "The Fleecing of Foster Children"

The next few nights, Blaine's sleep was wracked with nightmares and more than once he woke to Cass in bed with him or Nicholas staring wide-eyed and scared. In the dark of night, with the boys he nearly called family, he whispered his fears and revealed old secrets.

He didn't tell Kurt. Kurt would worry and insist he talk to Mr. Schuester or Ms. Pillsbury, but Blaine knew that neither was equipped to deal with the monsters in his dreams. Besides, he didn't want any of them to know that Finn had made his way in to them as well. Instead, he soaked up the normalcy of school and glee club, Chess rehearsals and stolen kisses backstage where no one could bother them. He breathed freely for the two days that Finn was suspended.

But each afternoon, he drove back with anxiety building, fearing that his father's car would be in the driveway. He knew it made little sense. The rest of the visit with his parents had gone well, though the tension between them all remained palpable. But he couldn't stop the intrusive thoughts, the old worries, from haunting him. Especially while he slept.

The dream was always the same, two to three times a night. Every time he closed his eyes he heard the grinding of the garage door opening and the thundering of drunk footsteps up the stairs. Only this time, the stairs led to his room here at Sidney House. He could smell the liquor on his father's breath as he tried to make out the slurred words and he could feel his father pull him off the bed as he assaulted him for going to Scandals. Sometimes in the dreams his father turned into Finn, sometimes he didn't, but it didn't matter. Each time he'd wake up in a sweat, hyperventilating, with at least one person's eyes on him.

Xavien assured him it was typical for kids with post traumatic stress disorder to be wracked with nightmares, when the distractions were no longer there and the mind was free to wander into old patterns and memories. He suggested that Blaine talk to the psychiatrist about taking medication before bed, but Blaine didn't want to. He was afraid now of putting anything into his body that would alter his mood or change who he was and what he was going through. He was afraid of becoming addicted, but he was also afraid of not feeling it.

So instead, they talked, a lot, about Blaine's abuse growing up. How it was before he'd come out and how it changed after. He talked about his fears of his father and his mother, and he talked openly for the first time about his mother's violence toward him. He talked about his fears of becoming just like them, and how the moment in the Scandals parking lot scared him to death. He told Xavien about Kurt's promise and admitted he was afraid of Kurt both keeping it and not keeping it. Right now his emotions were completely out of his control at times, and he was terrified that he might lash out again if he was triggered. Xavien and his therapist worked with Blaine to talk and write about his past, but also about how to change his future.

"Bring Kurt in here, Blaine, when he's no longer grounded," Xavien told him. "Burt can come too. We can talk about your triggers and the signs that you might be dissociating and losing control. We can talk to them about when and how to help you deescalate, and when Kurt needs to walk away for his own safety."

Blaine closed his eyes, his head in his hands. "Is that any way for us to live?" he lamented. "For Kurt to live?" He raised his eyes to Xavien in question.

Xavien reached out to him, placing a hand on his knee in assurance. "It's not forever, Blaine. You will get better. If you two stay together, it will become as natural as breathing."

"Breathing doesn't seem so natural these days, Xavien," Blaine quietly chuckled.

"Well, that will become more natural too," he promised. "You just need to be patient."

"Yeah," Blaine sighed. "Everything is about patience these days, isn't it."

* * *

Blaine sat in the middle seat of the choir room finishing up his English homework before Glee rehearsal. He'd stayed in study hall in the library until attendance was taken and then took off. He knew he wouldn't get in trouble. There were benefits to being a foster child and getting away with breaking harmless rules was one of them. He could always plead that he'd needed to take space, and it wouldn't be entirely untrue. But mostly, he just enjoyed the quiet energy in that room, the lingering hum of art and music that hung in the air for all time.

He was deeply engrossed in a study of mythology in modern day America, when he heard someone else walk in the door. It was too early for Glee and he looked up, hoping Kurt had somehow snuck away from his science lab. When he saw it was Finn, though, his defenses immediately rose and he slowly closed his book. Finn didn't look at all surprised to find Blaine there, it seemed as though he'd been searching for him. Finn slowly walked to the middle of the room, then stopped, digging his hands into the pockets of his jeans. As they sized each other up, Blaine waited for the ambush. But it never came.

"Kurt ever tell you he had a crush on me sophomore year?" Finn asked instead.

Blaine's forehead creased. "Yeah," he answered guardedly, wondering where this was going.

Finn shuffled uncomfortably, but stayed where he was, maybe feeling it was a safe distance for the moment. "When I found out, I didn't handle it very well. And when he set up his Dad and my Mom just so we could spend more time together, truth is, I didn't treat him so well. I said some horrible things to him." His voice was full of regret and Blaine found himself letting his guard down just slightly. "The things Karofsky was doing and saying, I knew about some of it, and I didn't put a stop to it like I should have. Kurt would try to fight back but he never stood up for himself, he didn't ask for help, he just held it in and kept taking it, until it was almost too late."

Blaine nodded slightly. "And you're afraid he'd do that again," Blaine said sadly. "With me." He understood. He'd seen it day in and day out with his mother.

"Yeah," Finn answered, almost apologetic. "At least I did until he told me what he promised you."

Blaine's eyes dropped and his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. Embarrassed that the promise was ever needed in the first place, embarrassed that Finn knew about something that had been so intimate for Blaine. Finn didn't seem to notice though. "Do you think he'll keep his promise?" he asked with great concern.

"I don't know," Blaine muttered staring at his shoes, then squinted up at Finn. "I hope so."

"I didn't step up until he came back from Dalton," Finn admitted. "And by then he had you. He didn't really need me anymore."

"I'm his boyfriend Finn, not his brother," Blaine said quietly.

"I still promised myself that I wouldn't do it again," Finn said. "And when I thought he needed me to protect him from you, I couldn't let him be hurt again. I thought I could finally get it right this time."

"I get that Finn, I do," Blaine told him. "But here's what I don't understand. Why before all this happened? We were cool all summer together, but as soon as I came to school here, you've had it out for me? Why?"

"When you ran from the foster home, to Kurt, you really put him in danger," Finn explained. "The police told Burt and my mom that because Mercedes was 18, she could have been arrested that night for harboring a runaway. Her parents too. Burt was furious with Kurt. I don't think they ever told you that."

"No, they didn't," Blaine said quietly. Everything was a blur from those days and he was sure that they didn't want to make things any worse for him. "I'm sorry Finn. That night, after everything that had happened, I was just…It was stupid but I was so scared."

"And I didn't understand then, but I do now," Finn reassured him. "I'm really sorry for how I treated you. I was stupid and scared too."

"So I guess that makes us even," Blaine said with a conciliatory smile.

The bell rang before Finn could answer and their teammates filed into the choir room. Kurt slipped in next to Blaine and grabbed his hand immediately. "Everything okay?" he whispered with an eye to Finn.

Blaine squeezed his hand back with a smile. "I think so," he whispered, his eyes softening at the handsome boy next to him. "It is now at least."

Kurt blushed beautifully and Blaine chuckled, when they were interrupted by Mr. Schuester calling the class to order. "Good afternoon everyone. Finn has a song he'd like to perform, so let's give him the floor."

"Thanks Mr. Schuester," Finn said nervously, wiping his hands on his jeans. He turned to the group, gave a quick glance to Kurt, and then looked to the others. "I, um…I've made a mistake. See, I forgot that we're a team and that teams have to stick together, no matter what. But even more than a team, New Directions is family." His eyes fell on Blaine. Blaine swallowed hard as Kurt held him tighter. "I'm sorry Blaine," Finn said. "I know I told you that, but I wanted to say it in front of everyone. And well, we all say things better in song here, so…" Finn turned to Brad and nodded.

_You're not alone_   
_Together we stand_   
_I'm here by your side you know I'll take your hand_

Blaine's tears threatened, but Kurt's fell immediately, his free hand flying up to his mouth, so taken with emotion by his brother's song. Rachel watched her boyfriend proudly and got up to join him, grabbing his hand and singing to Blaine.

_When it gets cold_   
_And it feels like the end_   
_There's no place to go_   
_You know I won't give in_   
_No I won't give in._

Puck, Artie and Brittney went out to join Finn and Rachel in support of Blaine. As their voices rose up in the room, Blaine's heart burst with a feeling of acceptance at McKinley that he hadn't felt before. His teammates became friends, supports he could count on.

_Keep holding on_   
_Cause you know you'll make it through, you'll make it through_   
_Just stay strong_   
_Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you._

_There's nothing you could say_   
_Nothing you could do_   
_There's no other way when it comes to the truth_   
_So keep holding on_   
_Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through_

Blaine turned to Kurt, overcome with emotion. Kurt saw in Blaine's eyes a sense of belonging for the first time since Dalton. In the back of both of their minds though was the always constant worry that at a moment's notice it could be taken from him. They weren't in charge of their own destiny, not entirely. But they would hold tight to what they had and control what they could. Kurt cupped Blaine's face and sang.

_So far away_   
_I wish you were here_   
_Before it's too late, this could all disappear_

Blaine knew all that Kurt was thinking. He could be removed from where he was and placed hours away, he could be returned home. But Blaine tried to assure him that it wouldn't matter as he sang.

_Before the doors close_   
_And it comes to an end_   
_With you by my side I will fight and defend_   
_I'll fight and defend._

Finn and Rachel went out to grab their hands and pulled Kurt and Blaine into the middle of the choir room. Finn hugged Blaine, while Rachel put an arm around Kurt, a huge smile on her lips. Puck went next, pulling Blaine into a firm handshake, then fist bumped with a wink. Brittany tried to ruffle his hair but Blaine ducked before she could and, face beaming, he pulled her in for a hug. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so loved and accepted and a smile was plastered on his face. As they all sang and embraced him, he never wanted to let it go.

_Keep holding on_   
_Cause you know you'll make it through, you'll make it through_   
_Just stay strong_   
_Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you._

_There's nothing you could say_   
_Nothing you could do_   
_There's no other way when it comes to the truth_   
_So keep holding on_   
_Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through_

Santana had made her way over to Brittany and smiled warmly at Blaine though she didn't reach out like the others. The only one who remained in the seats was Mercedes and as his friends all came to the end of the chorus, he stepped out of the circle and toward the one friend of Kurt's who he had truly lied to, betrayed and put in danger. He wouldn't blame her if she didn't forgive him, but he really hoped that she would. Mercedes closed her eyes briefly, as if in prayer, then opened them and met his pleading eyes. As she did, she sang.

_Hear me when I say, when I say I believe_   
_Nothings gonna change, nothing's gonna change destiny_   
_Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly._   
_Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah_

Blaine smiled and walked over to her, taking her hand, with a kiss on the cheek. Mercedes couldn't help but smile and forgive him. Blaine was radiant as he pulled her off the chairs and onto the floor with the rest of the New Directions. He was taken by surprise as Kurt wrapped his arms around his waist and turned him around. With the voices of their friends adding this song to the history of the choir room, Blaine was held tightly in the safety of his boyfriend's arms. Their eyes were locked on one another, so full of love they felt they might just burst. "Thank you," Blaine mouthed to Kurt and Kurt kissed him in response, tears of happiness mixing on their lips. Kurt pulled back, but held him close. He sang with the others though his voice was the only one Blaine heard.

_There's nothing you could say_   
_Nothing you could do_   
_There's no other way when it comes to the truth_   
_So keep holding on_   
_Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through_

* * *

It felt like one of the longest two weeks of Blaine and Kurt's life. They cuddled together during Glee and Chess rehearsals as much as they could, they'd take the longest walks ever back to their cars, and in between classes they'd steal quick kisses in the shadows. But being apart for two weeks felt like an eternity, especially once Blaine was off restriction but Kurt was still grounded.

His time wasn't wasted though. He had three visits with his mother, including one with his therapist where Blaine finally felt the two of them began a road to recovery. He knew it would be a bumpy one. His mother's sobriety was far shakier than his father's and she was far less able to accept her own responsibility in the things that had gone wrong. But she wanted a role in her son's life and for Blaine that was huge improvement over how he felt these first two months when he thought that maybe he'd lost her for good.

He was also allowed his very first unsupervised visit with his father after his restriction was lifted. For two hours they left the program and went nearby for a birthday dinner. They talked about football and the show and his father promised to come to one of his performances. John even said he'd take him and Kurt out after the matinee if he was allowed. He gave Blaine some money for his birthday and told him to buy whatever he needed. Blaine found himself smiling more than he ever had before with his father. He finally had hope that just maybe, he really would go home some day.

It made him even more nervous though for dinner with Kurt's father on Friday. Things were going too well, something had to give and he really didn't want it to be the relationship with Burt, especially since he and Finn had just cleared the air between them. But he knew it was a real possibility. Burt was a real father. He loved and protected his son with his entire heart and soul. After what Blaine had done, he knew there was a chance that Burt wouldn't forgive him and he tried to prepare himself for that possibility. Kurt tried to assure him it wouldn't happen, but Blaine's trust in parents had been severely damaged.

He wrung his hands together and took a few deep breaths before knocking on the door of the Hudmel home. Thankfully Kurt answered and slipped outside with him, closing the door behind him. Without a word, Kurt took him by the hand and immediately pulled him around the house to the gardens in the backyard where he unabashedly crashed their lips together in a passionate kiss that Blaine couldn't help but moan into. "God, I missed you so much," Blaine said breathlessly when they separated for air. "How is it even possible seeing each other every day?"

"Because we couldn't do this," Kurt muttered before capturing Blaine's lips once more as he pressed their bodies together.

Blaine instantly pulled back though, biting his lip. "I thought we were taking this slow, Kurt," he breathed.

"Sounds like a good plan to me," came the booming voice of Burt Hummel from behind them and they both jumped to see him at the open back door. Damn it, Blaine thought as he closed his eyes and turned away, feeling as though he'd just blown any chance of this night going well.

Kurt softly squeezed his hand though and whispered, "Don't worry about it. Come on," as he made his way inside. Blaine sighed and slowly followed, feeling Burt's eyes burning into him the entire time.

"Hey, Dude, glad you could come," Finn said brightly as he saw them enter the kitchen.

"Thanks Finn," Blaine said genuinely.

The table was set and Finn and Carole were putting dinner out onto the table. Kurt took Blaine's hand and they sat down next to one another, across from Burt. "We're so glad you could join us tonight sweetheart," Carole said as she came over to the table with the last dish and sat in between Burt and Blaine. Finn sat across from his mother next to Kurt.

Blaine was thankful that Finn monopolized the conversation, talking about football and Rachel. As the night went on and dinner started to come to a close, the hand Kurt held beneath the table started trembling as Blaine's anxiety grew. He needed this to be over, he just needed to know where he stood with Burt so he could move on in whatever way he needed to. Kurt sensed it and cleared his throat.

"Um, Dad, do you think that Blaine and I could have that talk with you now?" he asked hesitantly.

Burt looked at the two boys. He'd noticed Blaine picking at his food, becoming increasingly more quiet and agitated as the night went on. He didn't want to put him through any more than he had to, and he quickly pushed his chair back. "Carole, Finn, if you don't mind, the boys and I have something we need to chat about."

Finn scowled that he was left with clean up of the dishes, but Carole smiled warmly. "Of course, Finn and I will clean up," she said, giving Finn a warning glance.

Kurt kept his hand tight around Blaine's as they followed Burt to the living room. The boys sat on the couch and Burt took his seat in his armchair facing them. Blaine's heart was in his throat. Even if he wanted to speak there was no way his breath would escape. He'd only said the words to Xavien in the sanctity of the therapy room. The shame he felt at what he'd done, the intimacy of the promise, it was all too much for Blaine to speak aloud in the open. Burt saw his fear and tried to ease it.

"Blaine, before you and Kurt tell me whatever it is you need to, you need to know something about me. I love my kids. Doing something wrong,  _anything_  wrong, doesn't change that. I could be mad as hell at Kurt for something, and I have been," Burt said with a smirk as Kurt's face flushed, "but I've never stopped loving him. And nothing you could do could ever stop me from loving you. Got that?"

Blaine lowered his eyes. He didn't get it. He didn't believe it, not at all, because when all was said and done, Kurt was his child, not Blaine, and Blaine had hurt Kurt. Blaine could someday hurt him a whole lot more.

Burt saw the pain and distrust in Blaine's eyes and it broke his heart. He looked up at Kurt who bit his lip, his own nerves getting the best of him. "Why don't you just tell me what happened," he said as gently as he could.

Kurt kept one eye on Blaine to make sure his boyfriend was still mentally with them, and the other on his father as he started to tell all that had happened at Scandals. "I knew I was driving so I didn't drink, but Sebastian and Cass and…" he instantly stopped as he felt Blaine's nails dig into his hand. He turned and watched him carefully.

Blaine's head was pounding and he could hear the blood rushing in his ears. Kurt's words were nearly lost in the swarm and despite his panic he knew that Burt had to hear the words from his mouth, not Kurt's. It felt worse than the idea of telling his own parents and he didn't know why except that today's confession could lead to Kurt being taken away from him for good and that was worse than any beating his father could give. But strangely, that realization gave him the courage to speak.

"I didn't even realize that I was getting drunk," Blaine said, his voice just above a whisper, his eyes trained on the floor. "I didn't realize anything I was doing. It was like being in a fog, moving slowly through it. I danced with Sebastian and Cass, but I remember that I couldn't find Kurt. I was afraid I'd lost him. It sounds stupid now, but with the beer, and the fuzzy…everything felt so…heightened."

Kurt's stomach clenched, hearing Blaine describe the night as he experienced it. He'd always have to remember that Blaine's fear of abandonment was a trigger.

"When I finally found him, I didn't want to let him go," Blaine continued, disbelief evident in his voice as it grew a little bolder even though the words were getting harder. "At some point Kurt led me outside. The cool night air felt so good and everything just felt perfect. I wanted it to be perfect for us too. I pulled him down into the backseat…I tried to...but I was too…I'm sorry," he looked up at Kurt, eyes begging for forgiveness that was given days ago but Kurt reassured him once again.

Blaine's gaze returned again to the ground, unable to meet Burt's, which was probably a good thing because the man's eyes narrowed. He expected the drinking. He expected that maybe they'd taken things too far, but this sounded far more ominous than he'd imagined. Burt buried his growing fear and anger deep within him though and continued listening with an open heart.

Guilt-ridden and shame-faced, Blaine continued, nearly forgetting his audience at this point, needing nothing more than to finally say the words aloud. "Kurt didn't want to, and he yelled at me stop. I couldn't understand why he didn't want me like I wanted him." His face twisted as he tried to recall, the picture getting fuzzier by the minute. "I remember him yelling. I didn't know why he wouldn't stop yelling at me." Tears of regret fell as Blaine pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes. Kurt wanted more than anything to embrace him but his father's eyes had turned hard and he couldn't get his arms to move.

"What did you do, Blaine?" Burt demanded, dreading the answer.

For the first time since he'd started talking, Blaine raised his eyes to Burt. Burt raced to soften them, but it wasn't in time and Blaine saw the flash of cold in them. It nearly stopped his heart from beating, but in a way it gave him strength, because cold and unforgiving he was used to, he knew what to expect. He braced himself for the inevitable as he answered the question. "I shoved him, hard, into the car door. I might have done more if Sebastian hadn't grabbed me and held me back."

Blaine and Kurt kept their eyes trained on the formidable man in front of them, Kurt's filled with worry, Blaine's with resignation. Burt's emotions swam through him and he couldn't sit. He stood up and turned away from them both, bringing fists he didn't even know he had made to his chest where the boys couldn't see them. He breathed. He counted. He prayed. In the silence, Kurt looked to Blaine but Blaine never took his eyes off the man, waiting for the attack that was sure to come.

"Kurt," Burt said, his voice rough but calm. Too calm, Blaine thought. Burt reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet, grabbing a ten from the fold and holding it out. "Go to the store and grab another pack of diet coke, I think we're out."

Kurt looked from Blaine to Burt in disbelief. Kurt had promised they'd do this together, why was his father making Blaine face this alone? "What, now?" he shrilled.

"Yes, now!" Burt demanded, losing his temper momentarily as he turned to Kurt.

"It's ok," Blaine whispered and let go of Kurt's hand, though his eyes never left Burt. He could take whatever Burt thought he deserved.

Kurt stared back at them both then angrily swiped the money from his father's hand. "I'll be back in ten minutes," Kurt said trying to assure Blaine while warning his father.

Burt and Blaine waited in silence until they heard the door slam loudly and the car start, then watched the headlights disappear from the window. Finally, Burt sat down again, his anger dissipating. Blaine never looked away, a constant challenge to the man to do his worst, to say whatever he had to say, do whatever he was going to do, to prove that he was no different from the other adults in his life that had hurt and betrayed him.

Burt knew that was precisely what Blaine believed. The only thing was, Burt was nothing like the others he had known. "You and me Blaine," Burt began evenly, "we're not that different. We both have a fire inside that burns very brightly when something sets us off. For me it's when someone hurts the people I love."

"Yes Sir, I know," Blaine answered evenly.

"Part of me wants to tell you that you can't see Kurt anymore," Burt admitted. Blaine's head immediately dropped into his hands as his every fear came true and he felt his world crumble. "My temper is not so quick though. And I know that's not the right answer for either of you. You'll learn you can trust me Blaine."

His face lifted in reserved hope and eagerness. "Yes sir, I wouldn't be here right now if I didn't," he said, and it surprised him how true that was despite his fears.

"We aren't our fathers," Burt said. "And you don't have to grow up to be anything like yours. But if you drink, Blaine…you can't take your guard down for even a minute. And when it comes to Kurt, neither can I." Burt got up from the armchair and sat next to Blaine, putting a reassuring arm around him. He felt Blaine tense beneath him, and it was heartrending. He was still scared for his son, but he could talk to Kurt about safety later. Whatever Burt felt inside, at this moment it wasn't nearly as important as the words he chose to impart to Blaine. This was one of those moments that could change Blaine forever, so he chose very carefully. "What you did, you learned from your parents, but it doesn't make you who you are. You can be better than that. You can be better than them. Your choices are your own and you shouldn't let anyone or any _thing_  make choices for you."

Blaine wanted that to be true so desperately, and if Burt and Kurt both believed it was, he thought maybe he really did stand a chance. He felt his gut unclench and his heart beat slow. His head and his vision had slowly cleared. He took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "So what happens now?" he asked nervously.

"For now," Burt said, "you and Kurt see each other only here or at the program where someone is around if either one of you needs us."

Blaine nodded, not liking it, but understanding. "For how long?"

"For as long as it takes," Burt told him. "I need to trust you again. I need to know that Kurt is safe and he knows what to do if he thinks he's not."

"Xavien said you guys could come in and we could all talk about it. About me being safe and you guys recognizing when I might not be and what to do," Blaine offered.

"That's a real good idea, son," Burt said and unconsciously ruffled his hair. It made Blaine smile and blush with happiness to hear Burt call him son. He didn't know how he had gotten so lucky to have two wonderful men in his life, but he knew that with them by his side there was always hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is "Keep Holding On" by Avril Lavigne, but covered in Season 1. It is one of my absolute favorite Glee numbers and I think this version of it is pretty sweet.


	16. Someone Else's Story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a very hard one for me. But I have seen it happen time and time again.

Kurt arrived home, a 12 pack of diet coke in his hand and a snarl on his face directed entirely toward his father. Burt placed a gentle hand on Blaine's knee and patted it softy. "Excuse me a minute," he said.

Blaine just nodded and Burt followed a very annoyed Kurt into the kitchen. Kurt put the soda away in pointed silence, then spun around to his father. "How could you do that to him?" Kurt snapped under his breath. "You yelled at me for making Blaine take responsibility alone and then you make me leave him to deal with that by himself? After I promised him we would do it together?"

"What you and Blaine did going to Scandals was both of your responsibilities." Burt kept himself and his voice steady and calm as he explained. "But what Blaine did, Kurt, you had no blame in that. What he did to you was wrong and it was not your fault."

Kurt's anger turned to confusion as he listened to his Dad. "I know that," he told him.

"Do you?" Burt asked seriously, needing to make sure.

Kurt's shoulders dropped with his tension and he nodded. "Yeah Dad," he reassured him, his eyes filling with love for his father. "I do understand that."

"Are you okay?" Burt asked and Kurt knew he meant the other night and not now.

"Yeah," he said softly, averting his gaze. "I was pretty black and blue and it hurt for a day or two, but nothing worse than being shoved into the lockers by Karofsky."

"You promised me with Karofsky that you wouldn't keep these kinds of things secret again, Kurt. If it happens again…" Burt warned, but Kurt cut him off.

"I won't let him hurt me again Dad," Kurt said. "I told him I wouldn't and he begged me to promise to leave him if he ever came after me again." Kurt looked toward the living room, wondering if Blaine was listening. He understood without them ever having talked about it that the promise was intimate to Blaine, his shame to stay private between them. But like on the night he called child protective services, there were certain people Kurt felt needed to know, for both of their safety.

Burt's eyebrows arched in surprise. "And do you think you will?" he asked, knowing how love could be both strong and foolish. "Leave him I mean?"

Kurt nodded. He'd always love Blaine, he'd always be his best friend, but he wouldn't allow that kind of violence into his life. "For both of our sakes, yes," he said. "I do."

* * *

Kurt tucked Blaine in and cuddled over the blankets as they watched the last little bit of a movie in the guest room that was now known fondly by Finn as Blaine's room. Blaine snuggled in close with his head resting on Kurt's chest as Kurt tenderly curled Blaine's hair between his fingers.

"I'm sorry I can't take you out for that private birthday dinner anytime soon," Kurt frowned.

"That's okay," Blaine said softly, nuzzling into Kurt's neck. "We can celebrate another time. The only thing I need right now is you."

"If we wait long enough I may just have to rethink what your birthday present might be," Kurt insinuated with a tease in his voice.

Blaine glanced up at Kurt, eyes shining and wanting. "I think I'd like that," he answered, a smile slipping from his lips.

Kurt smiled too and placed a soft kiss on Blaine's temple. "Time for sleep, love. I'll see you in the morning."

Blaine let Kurt slip out from under him and he curled into his pillow as Kurt turned off the movie and the room went dark. "Sweet dreams, Kurt," he called softly.

"Sweet dreams, Blaine," Kurt wished him as he closed the door gently behind him.

And he did have sweet dreams, of soft fingers on his skin, slow kisses on his lips and two bodies pressed together in warmth and love. No nightmares plagued him. Instead he woke content with the memories of his dream until he and Kurt were ready to make them real.

* * *

"Do you guys really think this is a good idea?" Blaine asked nervously as he and the Hudmels walked up to the restaurant.

"I think it's always a good idea to celebrate birthdays," Burt answered, slapping an arm around Blaine's shoulders.

"That's not exactly what I meant," Blaine chuckled softly.

"I know it's not kid," Burt smirked as he pulled him in reassuringly. "Doesn't mean it's not true."

Blaine took a deep breath, trying to steady his beating heart as they walked into the restaurant. It was fancier than he'd ever been with the Hudmels, which just increased his anxiety. He glanced over at Kurt nervously as they reached the host. Kurt grasped his hand and squeezed. "This could go horribly wrong," Blaine whispered.

"Or it could go right," Kurt said encouragingly. "We won't know until we try."

But Blaine knew as soon as they all rounded the corner that it wasn't going to go right. His parents sat at a large round table in the middle of the restaurant as far apart as they could possibly get. He was certain by the scowls on their faces that they'd been fighting and immediately Blaine's defenses went up. As soon as John saw his son, however, his face softened and smiled at Blaine, getting up to hug him. "Two birthday dinners this year, huh?" he said jovially as he took Blaine in his arms. "I'm guessing that means 17 is gonna be a good one."

Blaine gave a tight smile and went to say hello to his mother. She remained in her chair, arms crossed, a scowl on her face, and Blaine could see now her eyes were shifty and her hands shook slightly. They were small signs but they were enough for him. She had come to his birthday dinner high and he had no doubt that it was what his parents had been fighting about. She reached up to him, her movements a tad slower than usual, and pulled him down for a kiss on the cheek. "Happy Birthday Blaine," she said with a hint of a slur that probably no one else would notice, but to which he was intensely attune.

"Why would you use today?" Blaine whispered at her, settling into the chair next to her. Kurt sat on his other side and Finn sat next to Kurt. Burt and Carole sat on the other side between the Andersons.

"I was nervous Blaine, I just needed a little bit," she rationalized. He shook his head and looked at his Dad. John tried to offer his son a reassuring smile but he knew there was no true reassurance. Relapse was a part of recovery but it also would set back the clock of Blaine's homecoming.

Blaine put his napkin on his lap and his head in his hands. The men were oblivious to Theresa's condition, but Carole was not. They made small talk until the waiter came to take their drink orders and tell them the specials, giving Blaine a chance to breathe and refocus. He would get through this dinner just like he got through every other one. He would go back to Sidney House and…and what? Tell Xavien his mother came to his birthday dinner stoned on Xanax or whatever the hell she was on? Or keep quiet and wait for Carole to tell James, because either way he was screwed. He knew there was no way to keep this secret and he honestly didn't even know if he wanted to. His days of hiding should be over.

"Excuse me," he whispered to no one in particular as he threw his napkin on the table and raced to the front of the restaurant. "Bathrooms?" he quickly asked the host who directed him up the stairs. He climbed them and found himself outside the restrooms and two empty ballrooms for events. He walked into one of the ballrooms and slid down against the wall, pulling his knees in tightly to his chest.

Kurt watched Blaine go and immediately stood to follow. "Kurt," Burt warned with a nearly imperceptible shake of the head, but Kurt had no patience right now for his father's rules.

"I'll be fine," he snapped and took off after Blaine.

After a few false starts, he found his boyfriend shaking as he cried, head buried in his arms. Kurt immediately knelt down in front of him and took Blaine's tear-stained face in his hands, wiping it dry with his sleeve. "No," Kurt told him firmly. "I am not going to let you fall apart here. Not today."

"She's high," Blaine whispered brokenly, his eyes the saddest thing that Kurt had ever seen.

"I don't care," Kurt said. "And neither should you."

"Why the hell shouldn't I care, Kurt?" Blaine grew tense, his fight or flight reflexes playing with his mind.

"Because I love you," Kurt said. "Any my father loves you, and Finn loves you, and Carole loves you, and everyone at Sidney house loves you, and it even seems to me like your father loves you. So trust us all to help make this right for you," he pleaded.

Blaine shook his head and looked away. "I don't know if I can," he cried.

Kurt took his chin in his hand and turned Blaine back to him. "You can," he breathed before kissing him fiercely, pouring into it the anger he felt toward Blaine's mother that he'd never reveal. Blaine gave in and opened his lips, thrusting his tongue between Kurt's, who took in all of Blaine's fear and soothed it. They let the kiss' intensity subside and slowly relaxed into one another's arms as it became tender and loving.

A throat cleared at the doorway, and they quickly parted and looked up to see Burt. "Your mother left," Burt said quietly to Blaine. "Your Dad called her a cab." The boys looked at him carefully. It was clear that there were things that he was not telling them, but neither asked for the details. They could both imagine. "He'd like you to come back to the table Blaine. We all would," he said warmly.

Kurt turned to Blaine and offered him one last soft kiss, nodding to him to go. Blaine kissed him back, and with a small smile to Kurt and to Burt he walked back down the stairs to his party.

Kurt went to follow but Burt placed a hand on his chest stopping him. "I was serious about what I said," he told Kurt sternly. "You two are not to go off by yourselves. In the state he was in, anything could have happened up here and no one would have known."

"I know how you feel," Kurt said calmly, "and I respect it. But I trust Blaine, and even more than that, I trust myself. We're going to be okay," he assured his Dad.

Burt reached up a hand to cup Kurt's cheek and smiled. "Yes, I believe you will be," he agreed and they headed back to Blaine's party.

They found Blaine in his father's embrace, whispering to one another private words meant for them alone. John and Burt's eyes met. Burt nodded his approval, and John smiled with soft pride. They all took their seats, Blaine shifting to the chair beside his father. Careful conversation turned into storytelling and then laughter. It ended in a rousing rendition of Happy Birthday. With only a quick glance out the front door, Blaine closed his eyes and made a wish, blowing out the candle, and smiling at his family with happiness.

* * *

She entered the building almost cautiously, hearing Blaine's voice as she did. She knew she was attune to it. No matter what, a mother could always pick her child out in a crowd. But there was no crowd here, just her child's voice ringing throughout the building in song, and pride filled her chest. His voice was beautiful but his heart was even more so. No matter what, he would be okay.

_I'd have thought you'd support_   
_Any attack on these people_   
_On the people who ran_   
_Mindlessly over your childhood_   
_Don't let them fool you for_   
_Thirty years on they're the same._

One thing Blaine loved about playing Freddie was having the opportunity almost daily to get out his feelings. His feelings of anger at his parents, frustration at his mother, jaded hope for his future. Musically sparring with Rachel, at times he replaced her with thoughts of his Mom and for just a moment he could say what he needed to say and feel good. Not better, just good. The past few weeks since his birthday it had been a blessing. His visits with her had gone from silent to non-existent, but he was doing okay. He had his father still, and Kurt of course. He had Friday night dinner with the Hudmels and his friends at McKinley and at Sidney House. He had Xavien to keep him sane and James to look out for him. Kurt was right, he had a lot of people in his life who loved him. He didn't miss his mother at all.

Or at least that's what he told himself.

Next week was tech week, affectionately known by thespians worldwide as hell week, and today was their second full run through. He and Rachel were killing it as they finished their duet and he stormed off upstage left then turned and froze, where he knew next week he'd be beautifully lit in silhouette during Rachel's solo. This was surprisingly one of his favorite moments on stage. He loved her voice. He loved being on stage, but not being there, a memory in her mind, haunting her as so many haunted him. He closed his eyes and let it wash over him.

Theresa went straight toward the voices and quickly found the auditorium where she knew he was rehearsing for Chess. She very gently pulled the handle to be as quiet as she possibly could be and closed it softly behind her, the small click the only giveaway that she was there. She was very well aware that she wasn't supposed to be there. But it wouldn't matter. Not anymore.

_Long ago_   
_In someone else's lifetime_   
_Someone with my name_   
_Who looked a lot like me_

She searched the theater quickly and found him on stage, eyes closed. She began down the aisle slowly until the words filling the auditorium struck her like a knife. She stopped, transfixed.

_Came to know_   
_A man and made a promise_   
_He only had to say_   
_And that's where she would be_

It was as if the words were written for her, even by her. The promises she'd made to John to stay despite his drinking, despite his temper. The promises she'd made to always be there for him and for the children. To put her own needs and wants on the back burner for all of them, three men who were now grown and in truth were far better off without her.

_Lately_   
_Although her feelings run just as deep_   
_The promise she made has grown impossible to keep_   
_And yet I wish it wasn't so_   
_Will he miss me if I go?  
_

Blaine opened his eyes and was instantly drawn to the figure on the stairs. His mother, staring back at him, confusion and regret and resolve in her face. Rachel's voice, her words, rang through his ears and suddenly he was standing in his mother's shoes, watching through her eyes. And oh yes, he wanted to scream, he would miss her if she went.

_In a way_   
_It's someone else's story_   
_I don't see myself_   
_As taking part at all_   
_Yesterday_   
_A girl that I was fond of_   
_Finally could see_   
_The writing on the wall_

_Sadly she realized she'd left him behind_   
_And sadder than that she knew he wouldn't even mind_   
_And though there's nothing left to say_   
_Would he listen if I stay?_

Transfixed, the song playing out her life on that stage, Theresa unconsciously made her way slowly to the empty orchestra pit, staring up at the girl singing her reality. Blaine watched her, unable to move, unable to scream, unable to jump off the stage and promise that yes, he would listen and so would Dad if she would just get clean.

_It's all very well to say you fool it's now or never_   
_I could be choosing_   
_No choices whatsoever_

Her breath hitched, and tears started to pool in her eyes. The fear she'd felt earlier came rushing back. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe she could just go back, beg forgiveness, try inpatient care again. But that felt more like choosing nothing than choosing something.  _  
_

_I could be_   
_In someone else's story_   
_In someone else's life_   
_And he could be in mine_

No! Blaine screamed in his head, taking a step, nearly forgetting his role in the scene before freezing again. His head though started spinning. His mind started racing. He saw it in her eyes. Resolve.

_I don't see_   
_A reason to be lonely_   
_I should take my chances_   
_Further down the line_

_And if that girl I knew should ask my advice_   
_Oh I wouldn't hesitate she needn't ask me twice_   
_Go now! I'd tell her that for free_   
_Trouble is, the girl is me_   
_The story is, the girl is me_

The minute the song ended, Blaine raced to the front of the stage and jumped down to come face to face with his mother. He didn't notice everyone else staring at them, or Ms. Pillsbury and Coach Beiste coming to meet them, knowing that Mrs. Anderson was not supposed to be in the school. He didn't notice Kurt rushing from backstage to stand above him. His only world was his mother and hers was only him. He wanted to scream and grab her and tell her not to give up, but instead he waited. Knowing he was too late.

"I'm leaving," she finally said.

* * *

Ms. Pillsbury had quickly ushered the two into her office and sat in her chair behind her desk quietly while Blaine and his mother talked. She gave Shannon the name and number to call his social worker. Kurt paced outside the glass doors.

"I don't understand why you're going." Blaine stared at his fingers, the shock settling into his skin, freezing him.

"I know you don't, Blaine," Theresa said, offering him little comfort. "But I have to do this for me. I can't fight with your father anymore. I can't stay sober. There's nothing here for me."

His eyes shot up. "I'm here!" he yelled.

"I'm no good for you here sweetheart." She tried to placate him. "And Ohio is no good for me."

Blaine looked away, unable to stare too long at a women he had known his whole life and yet didn't know at all. "Where are you going?" he whispered.

"Indiana. Back to my family." She shrugged. "Maybe things will be different there. And without me, maybe you can go home. If James says it's ok."

Blaine looked at Ms. Pillsbury, then back to his mother. His stomach hurt. The room was suffocating. His eyes held no tears. He was angry. There wasn't room right then for anything else. "I'd like to go back to rehearsal," he said standing up.

"Will you give me a hug goodbye?" Theresa asked hopefully.

His head said to hug her, it could be the last time. His heart said he wasn't ready. But when he found her arms wrapped around him, his chest lurched and he began to sob uncontrollably, in a way he hadn't since he was a small child. "Don't go," he whimpered against her shoulder.

"I have to sweetheart," she said regrettably but with all the honesty she had. "It's the best thing for both of us."

She kissed him once on the cheek and walked out the door without another turn. Blaine collapsed back into the chair and cried until soft arms enveloped him and he nestled himself against Kurt's warm body. "It's going to be okay Blaine," Kurt whispered softly. "Everything is going to be okay."


	17. Going Home

"Are you sure you want to do this?" James asked as he pulled up to McKinley High's front door. Blaine rolled his eyes and got out of the car, walking around to the trunk and knocking on it. James flipped the switch and followed him out. "I just want you to be certain Blaine."

Blaine pulled his messenger bag out of the trunk and slung it over his shoulders, then reached in again for his small duffle. He flung that over his back. "I'm sure James. I'll be fine. It's less than 24 hours, I have to be back again here tomorrow night before 6:30."

"If you were younger there is no way I'd allow you to have overnight visits yet," James told him. "I'm only letting you do this because you're seventeen years old." And in fact he was still incredibly nervous about it. If it was nearly anyone but Blaine, he'd never allow an overnight before at least four months of sobriety. But he trusted Blaine could take care of himself and do the right thing.

Blaine gave a crooked smile. "Well I appreciate your faith in me."

"I do have faith in you," James said. "And I have faith that you'll use your safety plan if you need to," he added pointedly. Blaine rolled his eyes again but nodded as he started walking into the school. James continued to follow. "You know the emergency hotline number?"

"Yes," Blaine assured him.

"And the number to Sidney House?"

"Mmmhmm."

"And the number to Burt's house?"

Blaine suddenly turned a look of mock terror suddenly on his face. "Oh my gosh, I can't remember my boyfriend's phone number! Oh wait," he teased, his lips curling in a sly smile. "I've had that memorized for over a year now." James pushed him playfully toward the school door. "Child abuse, child abuse!" Blaine called, laughing hysterically.

Now it was James' turn to roll his eyes. "You are ridiculously giddy," he said opening the door for them.

"I'm going home James," Blaine said excitedly. "Sure it's only for one night, but I don't care. I'll be in my own bed, in my own room, by myself. No snoring or sniveling to keep me up. No starving teenagers to wake me up in the morning. I'm going to sleep in for the first time in almost 3 months."

"Good thing, because you're going to be exhausted after opening night tonight," James reminded him.

They reached the dressing rooms set up in the choir room and Blaine threw his bags down and made a beeline for Kurt, pulling him down into a dip and kissing him passionately. Kurt kissed back but gently coaxed Blaine to let him back up. When they separated, Kurt raised a curious eyebrow at James.

"He's a little excited," James shrugged with amusement. He couldn't get upset. It was amazing to see Blaine this way.

"About opening night or your first overnight with your Dad?" Kurt asked Blaine.

"Both," Blaine bounced hyperly. "Today is maybe the best day of my life."

If Kurt didn't know any better he'd think Blaine was drunk, but the kiss had proven that there was absolutely no alcohol on his breath. And Kurt realized that Blaine high on life was better than anything else in the world.

"I'm going to go," James called and the boys twisted quickly toward him. "You call me when you're on your way back here tomorrow, I don't want to find out 20 minutes before your call time that there's a problem. If I don't hear from you by 5:30pm I will drive out there and come get you. Understood."

"Yes James," Blaine answered with fond exasperation. "It will all be fine."

"Ok," James chuckled. "Break a leg. I'll see you tomorrow after the show and I expect to hear all about your visit."

Blaine waved him away then turned to Kurt and kissed him again before grabbing the duffle he'd dropped in the middle of the floor and carrying it to an unused corner. Kurt took a seat on the floor and began stretching. Blaine joined him after slipping his messenger bag under his dressing room table next to Kurt's. Legs splayed, they both warmed up opposite one another as they talked.

"So are you nervous?" Kurt asked, concern evident in his voice. "About going home I mean."

"Yeah, sure," Blaine admitted. "There are a ton of memories there, and not a lot of them are good. Some of them are pretty awful. I think I'm more nervous about that than anything else."

"You're not worried about your dad?" Kurt questioned.

Blaine frowned. "Not for one night, no. He's proven to me that he can stay sober at least for our visits. And without Mom there…" Blaine grew quiet and looked away.

"Have you heard from her?" Kurt asked softly.

Blaine's voice was sad as he responded. "She called when she settled in a few days ago. She's living with her sister. She says she's been clean." He shrugged. "I don't know. I don't want to get my hopes up. And it's not like I can see her as long as I'm still in OFC custody unless she comes back to visit me, which she won't. So it really doesn't matter."

"Of course it matters," Kurt said grabbing his hand mid stretch. Blaine smiled lovingly at Kurt and kissed his fingertips. How did he ever think that Kurt didn't understand?

"All right everyone, gather around for notes!" Artie called as he wheeled into the dressing room.

Artie spent the next half hour working on clean ups from the night before; slight restaging, a few changes in timing, and constant pestering to everyone to for godsake find their light. When he was finally done it was time for makeup and costumes. 7:30 rolled around, half-hour was called, and the carnations and notes started coming in from the lobby. The ushers were in and out for a bit before one carnation each landed on both Kurt and Blaine's tables. They grinned at one another and each opened their note.

_**Dear Kurt,** _

_**I am so proud of you tonight and every night.** _

_**Break a leg.  
Love, Dad** _

 

_**Dear Blaine,** _

_**You are going to shine tonight like the star you truly are.** _

_**Break a leg.  
Love, Burt** _

 

"Your dad is the absolute best," Blaine beamed, blushing at the man's words.

Before Kurt could even smile, another carnation landed on Blaine's table. Kurt arched a brow and Blaine stared at it with confusion before picking up the note curiously.

 

_**Dear Blaine,** _

_**Tonight is our night to start over, and I am so proud it will begin with you on that stage.** _

_**You are my star,  
Dad** _

 

Tears welled in Blaine's eyes, but this time they were tears of happiness. Kurt looked at him with worry, but Blaine was too overcome with emotion to speak. He merely handed over the note, wiping his eyes dry as Kurt read it.

"Oh Blaine." Kurt choked up at the words, knowing just how much they meant to Blaine after everything that had happened between him and his Dad. He reached out to Blaine's face and tugged him close, kissing him tenderly, his heart full of love. When they parted, Kurt placed the note gently back in Blaine's hands, wrapping his fingers around it. "No matter what happens Blaine,  _this_  happened. And no one can take it from you," he whispered.

"10 minutes," the stage manager called and the room responded in unison with a "thank you ten." It broke Blaine out of his trance.

"Oh my god," he chuckled, wiping the last of his tears. "I need to fix my makeup and both of us need to get into better headspace. I need to hate you, not want to tear all your clothes off right here."

"Well they say there is a fine line between love and hate," Kurt quipped.

Rachel sidled up between her show-husband and her show-lover. "And thus a whole new version of Chess was born," she teased. "Now come on you two, it's show circle time."

Blaine quickly touched up his makeup and joined the rest of the cast and crew for show-circle. As they focused on one another and passed their energy between them, Blaine couldn't help the part of him that strayed outside the choir room doors and out into the auditorium. His father was out there. For the first time ever, his father had come to watch him perform. And tonight, he was going home.

* * *

_Each game of chess means there's one less_   
_Variation left to be played_

_Each day got through means one or two_   
_Less mistakes remain to be made_

They pulled up to the house that Blaine had left nearly three months ago, ripped away by social workers who didn't understand, or understood too much. He'd never truly decided which it was. So much had changed since then, but the house looked the same, imposing and cold. Blaine shivered. His father placed a warm hand on his, but it only served to intensify Blaine's flashback. His heart raced, sweat beaded on his brow and he was having trouble breathing.

"Blaine, it's okay," his father repeated patiently over and over. Xavien had warned them of this, the last time they'd met when they'd agreed to this overnight. Throughout his time at Sidney House, Blaine had been very prone to flashbacks and nightmares and refused any medication to help them subside. Instead they'd worked very hard developing tools to manage it. "Close your eyes Blaine, think of Kurt. You're in his arms. You're safe."

Imagining himself wrapped in the loving arms of his boyfriend was the only thing they'd found so far that could ease him. Blaine had been surprised when his father agreed to use the imagery with him, and maybe it was partly the strangeness of those words coming out of his father's mouth that helped break the cycle of panic. But eventually Blaine's breathing slowed and the rush in his head subsided. His head fell in his hands as his stomach calmed. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Don't be sorry Blaine," he said, squeezing his hand. "We knew this would happen. We just have to get through it, one step at a time."

Blaine nodded and opened the door. He grabbed his bags from the backseat of the car and walked into the house.

It looked and smelled exactly the same as the night he'd left and his head reeled but he closed his eyes and took a breath. He asked himself what was throwing him, what he needed to do, and he realized that it was the sameness of it all. He opened his eyes and they immediately shifted to all of the hiding spots. The bar, the couch, the kitchen, Dad's office. He didn't see his father standing behind him, watching. He took off for the bar and flung it open.

Empty. He flipped the cushions on the couch where the marijuana sometimes hid. Empty. He ran to the kitchen and opened the cabinets where his mother hid her pills. Empty. He raced to his father's office and searched his drawers and the trash for any sign that his father had been drinking. There were none. He finally stopped and looked up.

His father stood in the doorway, a proud grin on his face. "I am 81 days sober today," he told Blaine. "I had your mom trash the alcohol while I was in rehab. And the day of your birthday party I threw out all of her pills and the weed. That's why she was so angry. She went to her car where she hid a bottle in her glove compartment and popped a few before I could wrestle that out of her hand. Then I put her in the car and we drove to see you."

Blaine's knees gave out and he fell into his father's high back leather office chair. He shook his head. "I'm not sure what to say," he said overwhelmed by everything.

John smiled softly. "That's okay," he said. "You don't have to say anything. I have no expectations for tonight or tomorrow. We'll just get through it and next time will be better. Okay?"

Blaine nodded, exhaustion hitting him. It had been a really long day and the last twenty minutes felt like an eternity. "Okay."

"Come on, let's get you to bed."

Blaine walked upstairs, his father grabbing his bags and bringing them to his room. Blaine tried to shake the memory of the social workers sitting there, stealing the truth from him that he'd worked so hard to keep hidden. His father dropped the bags on his bed and Blaine pulled out his pajamas and his tooth brush. He went to the bathroom and took a shower, washing out the gel and makeup and sweat of being under hot stage lights. This wasn't what he thought tonight would be like at all, but he realized that maybe he should have known. He'd just had such hopes, he had forgotten that reality would smack him in the face the moment he pulled up.

And yet reality was different now. The house was substance free. His father was sober. And the incredible tension between his parents that was always as thick as smog wasn't there. He hated that his mother wasn't there. He missed her terribly. But his father was better without her, even if he couldn't come to fully admit that he was better off without her for now. He turned off the water, dried off and dressed for bed. He brushed his teeth and returned to his room. His father sat on his bed.

"I have an urge to tell you a bedtime story," his father quipped with a shy smile.

Blaine laughed softly and climbed into bed. "Once upon a time, there was a boy who came home."

John reached over and hugged Blaine tightly. "I think we're gonna make this work," he said.

Blaine blinked back the tears and squeezed his dad tightly. "Yeah, I think we are."

* * *

"You promised you'd tell me all about the visit," James complained as he drove Blaine back to Sidney House Saturday night.

"I made no such promises," Blaine corrected him. "But it was good. Really good. I slept in like I said I would and Dad made breakfast. Then he took me shopping so I'd have brand new clothes and toiletries waiting for me when I came home. That way I don't have to pack the duffle for visits. Then we went out to lunch and talked."

"What did you guys talk about?" James asked. But he knew he wouldn't really get an answer. If there was one thing he'd learned throughout the years it was that kids almost never told him what happened on visits. It was like a secret pledge they made, but whether it was between them and their parents or just a universal "foster kid" agreement, he didn't know.

"You know. Just stuff," Blaine shrugged. Sebastian had warned him about sharing too much. Like Miranda warnings, anything he said could and would be held against them in a court of law. He wouldn't keep secrets from Xavien. He'd tell him everything. But their conversations were confidential unless Blaine was in danger or a danger to himself and things had actually gone really really well on the visit once he'd gotten past the actual fact of being home.

And that was the main thing he didn't share, with James or with his Dad yet. It became clear as he'd lain awake last night, and when they went back to the house this afternoon, that he didn't want that to be home anymore. Moving back there had too many bad memories, too many sad memories. It wasn't the same without his Mom, something he knew his Dad wouldn't understand. But there was more.

He had no way of staying at McKinley if he went back there. The trip was way too far to make on a daily basis even if the school districts did allow it which he knew they wouldn't. And he didn't want to return to Dalton. He'd talked to the guys over Facebook once in a while but they hadn't been there for him like the kids at McKinley now were.

And he'd be so far away from Sidney. He didn't want to give up Xavien or Sebastian. He wanted to be there for Nicholas when he needed a big brother. He wanted to do the summer shows with Tyler at the Sidney Theater. And of course, he wanted to be close to Kurt.

He didn't know how his father would feel about moving to Lima, but he knew he had to ask sooner rather than later. It could slow down his return home, but if returning home meant losing everything that had become important to him, he wasn't sure he wanted to do that. He'd rather wait it out.

"You were amazing on that stage tonight," James suddenly told him, clearly aware that Blaine wouldn't be talking any more about the visit. "I mean, I knew you were good but I had no idea you were that good."

Blaine grinned. "Well, maybe if we had a piano at Sidney I would have given you a concert. But that placed is totally uncivilized," he joked.

James filed that piece of information away for later. "Well I'm sure they are all going to love the show tomorrow. You guys have plans after the matinee?"

"Yeah, Cass' surprise birthday party," he said with a mix of excitement and sadness.

"The big 18," James said. "What's he planning to do?"

"He got an apartment nearby," Blaine told him. "He's signing back in with OFC for now, but I don't know how long it'll last," he said honestly. Actually, he was pretty sure he knew exactly how long it would last. It would last until Sebastian's 18th birthday when they'd move in together, though neither of them would admit that.

"Well I'm sure he'll do well," James said. "He seems like a good kid."

"Yeah, he is," Blaine agreed.

They drove up to Sidney House, the lights downstairs already out but the bedroom lights still glowed upstairs. "Don't be a stranger Blaine," James warned. "I'll see you next month if I don't see you before."

"Thanks James," Blaine said. "For everything."

* * *

Blaine rang the bell and was let into the residence by the night staff. He signed in, handed over his phone and made his way upstairs, sleepiness finally hitting him. It was after curfew so everyone was in their bedrooms. He thought about knocking on Sebastian's door but he didn't want to cause any trouble, so instead he quickly brushed his teeth in the bathroom and retired to his own room, collapsing on the bed.

Unfortunately, his roommates would not just let him be. And honestly, he didn't truly want them to.

"How did your visit go?" Nicholas asked excitedly from the bottom bunk.

"How did the show go?" Tyler asked from the top.

"Did you and Kurt get it on backstage?" Cass asked with a grin.

Blaine smiled into his pillow then rolled over and sat up, setting the pillow on his lap to cuddle. His friends waited eagerly. "Visiting with my Dad actually went really well, but being back in the house, especially without Mom there and with all the memories was really hard." He squeezed his pillow and pulled his knees up. He glanced up at Cass. "I'm not sure I want to go back there. I'm thinking of asking my Dad if he'd be willing to move."

Cass raised a brow. "Move where?"

"Lima," Blaine answered. "I want to stay at McKinley. I want to stay close to here," he said looking fondly at Nicholas. Nicholas smiled shyly back. He'd grown to really care about Blaine and rely on him. As much as he knew Blaine wanted to go home, he'd really miss him if he left. "I don't know. Going back just didn't feel right. I mean, being with my Dad, sober and getting along, that was amazing. But the rest didn't feel right."

"Even if your Mom leaving was right," Tyler said, "it doesn't make you miss her any less. And that's okay I think."

"Sebastian would say otherwise," Blaine said wryly. Sebastian's exact words had been "good riddance to bad rubbish" before squeezing Blaine in his arms as tightly as he could. And despite the fact that he was the only one that hadn't really validated Blaine's loss, it was Sebastian that he continued to turn to whenever he started missing her. Maybe it was  _because_  of his feelings on the matter and not despite them. Sebastian gave him permission to hate her when everyone else gave him permission to still love her. And sometimes, hating her was easier.

Cass came over and snuggled in close to Blaine. "Yes well, Sebastian has his own way of looking at everything doesn't he? Now get to the important question. Did you and Kurt get it on backstage?" he asked wagging his eyebrows.

"You have been spending too much time with Sebastian," Blaine teased and Cass blushed, knowing that there really was no such thing as too much time with Sebastian. "To answer your question, no, we did not. There's very little time that one or both of us is not on stage. And to answer your question Tyler," he continued glancing up with a grin, "the show both nights went wonderfully, but I really want your professional opinion tomorrow after you guys see it. And I think I'm more nervous for you guys to see it than I have been for anyone else."

Cass ruffled his hair playfully. "Aw, don't be nervous, Blaine. We're all rootin' for ya!"

A quick knock on the door had them all flinging themselves down on their pillows before Michael stuck his head in the door. "Lights out boys, it's going to be a big day tomorrow. Blaine needs his sleep." They all grumbled their agreement as his flicked the light switch off.

They were quiet for a time and Blaine almost thought that he was the only one awake, when a whisper floated to his ear.

"Blaine? Can I come visit you when you go home?" Nicholas asked.

Blaine smiled and rolled over, meeting the boy's wide eyes in the dark. "Yes Nicholas, I would like that very much."


	18. You and I

Nicholas woke up with the sun, an old habit he'd found impossible to break, especially with the flimsy curtains that hung on the windows of his bedroom at Sidney House. He didn't mind though. The other boys all slept soundly and it was a good time to roll over and daydream. He looked over at the boy lying across from him, gorgeous as always, his dark brown curls peaking out over the pillow where his serene beautiful face held just the whisper of a smile. Nicholas dreaded the day that he would no longer wake to the sight of Blaine. He knew it was coming. He'd learned one thing in foster care – nothing was forever.

There were nights when the smile would slip from Blaine's lips and the crying would begin. No doubt thoughts of Kurt fell away to nightmares of the past. In those moments Nicholas wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and hold him and tell him it would be okay. But he didn't. He was too young. It wouldn't be right and it would likely get both of them in serious trouble. Instead he watched as Cass played the role of protector, big brother. For them it would be okay.

Nicholas wasn't in love with Blaine. Not really. But he was very much in love with the idea of him.

* * *

Sebastian woke to the sounds of most of the other kids in the kitchen – drawers closing, silverware clinking, the smell of coffee and pancakes and bacon drifting upstairs and making his stomach growl. But the heaviness in his heart weighed him down and he didn't want to get up. Getting up meant walking down the stairs and into the kitchen where he would see Cass' face for the last time. Getting up meant their last breakfast at Sidney House together. It meant being one minute closer to saying goodbye. He wished that he could just freeze this moment in time and lie there forever, never feeling that there might be a tomorrow without his best friend.

Sebastian wasn't in love with Cass. Not really. Except that he very much was.

* * *

They piled into the van, Blaine already gone an hour earlier to make his call time. All the boys from Blaine's room, Sebastian, Rebecca and a few of the other girls that Blaine had grown close to buckled in as Xavien and Beth drove them to McKinley to see his performance of Chess.

Cass' thoughts wandered as they drove to the school and lingered in the lobby. It was a weird feeling, knowing that today was his 18th birthday. He was signing himself back in to care so that he'd have financial help and continued support from his social worker as he tried to make it on his own, but he hoped it wouldn't be for long. They hadn't talked about it. Living together at Sidney meant looks of longing across crowded rooms and fights about little things that escalated into mountains because neither could say what they truly felt. But Sebastian would be 18 in only four months, and maybe they'd take a chance. Those chances came with huge consequences though, and he didn't know if either was ready or willing to face them.

_This is an all too familiar scene_   
_Life imperceptibly coming between_   
_Those whose love is as strong as it could or should be._

In the darkness of the McKinley auditorium with the finality of the day weighing over them, the raw performances of loves unrequited and forbidden both suffocated and liberated them. Their hands searched for the other, as they never had before, and their fingers threaded together. Cass squeezed tightly and a tear slipped from Sebastian's eye before he could blink it back. Everyone could see them, but it didn't matter anymore. Cass was leaving today and there was no one that would force them to remain apart any longer.

_Why do we need to put love into words?_   
_Causing confusion_   
_We protest, explain_   
_Reassure, in vain_   
_Come to no conclusion._

It had gone unspoken, but known by all for a while now. Cass and Sebastian danced around their feelings, calling themselves best friends, both knowing but refusing to admit it was so much more. Watching every character on the stage fight for love in a real life game of chess, Sebastian and Cass saw their own stories flash before their eyes. For years now, before foster care and after, they'd been pawns in someone else's game; chess pieces moved around a board, by their parents and the State. And now that the nightmare was finally coming to a close, they wondered – was it safe to start dreaming?

_You and I –_

Was this the beginning of the end or the end of the beginning?

_We've seen it all_   
_Chasing our hearts' desire_   
_But we go on believing_   
_Nothing can harm us_   
_This is forever._

Cass brought Sebastian's fingers to his lips and kissed them tenderly. Sebastian's breath hitched and he looked over, their eyes shining in the dark. It had been a long time since he believed in anything. But maybe it was time to start believing in this.

* * *

"Dude, you were absolutely awesome!" Cass said as he tackled Blaine outside the high school stage door, nearly knocking over Kurt, who stood by his boyfriend's side.

Blaine laughed and clapped Cass on the back excitedly. "Thanks Man!"

"Seriously," Tyler chimed in, squeezing in to shake Blaine's hand. "You are definitely coming out to Sidney Theatre this summer to audition," he told Blaine then turned to Kurt. "You too. We need more amazing young talent, and you guys were incredible."

Blaine and Kurt both smiled their thanks. Blaine peered down to Nicholas and raised an eyebrow. "So whaddya think buddy?"

Nicholas looked up with a face that could be described as nothing less than adoration. "You were amazing Blaine."

Blaine and Kurt glanced quickly at each other and chuckled knowingly, then Blaine ruffled the boys' hair. "Thanks, that means a lot to me. Want me to sign your program?" he asked jokingly.

Nicholas nodded with a grin and Blaine pulled a pen from his bag and autographed the playbill. He handed it back but Nicholas gave it to Kurt to sign too. Kurt smiled widely and wrote his name with a flourish, his first tastes of stardom feeling good. Blaine saw the sparkle in Kurt's eye and pulled him close, kissing him lightly on the cheek.

Long legs strode up in front of the boys and Blaine straightened a bit taller instinctively. He grew a bit nervous, biting his lip as he looked up at Xavien expectantly. "You did good, Blaine," Xavien said proudly.

Blaine beamed, the approval meaning more to him than he would have guessed, and his cheeks flushed with pride. "Thanks Xavien."

"The pleasure was all mine, honestly," Xavien assured him. "Now it's time to go everyone," he said to the crowd around Blaine.

"You guys want to come with us?" Blaine asked Sebastian and Cass raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, sure," Sebastian answered quickly glancing at Xavien and Beth. "If that's alright."

"Sure," Beth answered with a shrug. "We'll meet you guys back at the house."

"Oh, I forgot something," Blaine said suddenly. "Be right back!" he called as he rushed backstage.

Kurt rolled his eyes and leaned against the wall as he was left alone with Cass and Sebastian. Kurt had been around them more since his father's restrictions about when and where he could see Blaine, and he'd grown to like Cass. But Kurt struggled to forgive Sebastian for the things he'd put in motion that night at Scandals, not to mention the way he often came on to Blaine whether Kurt was there or not. Blaine told him over and over it was just Sebastian's way and that it didn't mean anything. But even if that were true, Kurt didn't like Sebastian's way at all.

"You were really great up there," Sebastian suddenly said shyly, shocking Kurt out of his revelry.

"Thanks," he said, suspicion filling his voice, but he remained polite. "I'm glad you guys could come."

"Look, Kurt, I know we haven't always gotten along," Sebastian said. "You don't understand me one bit, and frankly it is a complete mystery to me why Blaine would be into you…" Kurt raised an annoyed eyebrow, but there was a teasing smirk on Sebastian's face and suddenly Kurt realized that maybe he shouldn't be taking the boy so seriously. "…but he loves you and I," Sebastian glanced shyly over to Cass then back to Kurt, "I can respect that. I  _will_  respect that I mean. From now on."

Kurt eyed him warily, but a small pleased smile played at his lips. "And I will try not to hate you so much," he pledged. "Because I know how important you are to Blaine, even though  _that_  will remain a complete mystery to  _me_."

Sebastian laughed heartily. "Well that sounds like a deal then. We will get along for Blaine's sake."

Kurt nodded in agreement. "For Blaine's sake."

"What are we doing for my sake?" Blaine asked breathlessly at the end of his run back to his friends.

"Getting our butts back to Sidney before Xavien sends out a search party," Cass answered quickly and started heading out the door. "Whaddya forget anyway?" he asked over his shoulder.

Blaine turned to Kurt and Sebastian with a wink and a grin. "Oh nothing," he sung. "I had it with me all along."

* * *

"Surprise!"

Cass' heart beat out of his chest as every staff and resident shouted when he walked through the door. His bags were packed and sitting in the office. His bed was stripped, his drawers were empty and the whole drive back he had dreaded those final moments. But looking at the reception that awaited him, the banner that said "Happy 18th Birthday, We Love You!" and the smiling faces of his friends, he couldn't help but be overwhelmed with joy.

He turned back to Sebastian, Blaine and Kurt who just shrugged with devious grins. Cass' eyes fell on Sebastian's whose smile softened. Love and hope and fear filled their eyes just for a moment before Cass turned back to everyone else, beaming. "Thank you everyone, this means so much to me. I love you all too. Now let's get this party started!"

* * *

Kurt and Blaine mingled for a while with the other kids at Sidney until Kurt needed a break. He never felt like he belonged there, often feeling guilty that he'd grown up in a loving and accepting home with parents who would do anything for him. He gently nudged Blaine, who understood and led him back to an empty couch. Blaine wrapped Kurt in his arms and pulled him cozily against his chest. Kurt snuggled in with a contented sigh. The tension he didn't even know he was holding released and he closed his eyes. "Soon it will be your bags packed by the door," Kurt said softly.

"I've still got some time," Blaine answered, lightly brushing the hair on Kurt's forehead that had fallen post-show. "I've only had one overnight so far." Blaine kissed Kurt's head and squeezed him tightly. "Besides, I've made a decision."

Kurt opened his eyes and tipped his head back to look at Blaine inquisitively. "What decision?" he asked with a little worry to his tone.

"I'm not going back to Westerville," Blaine said.

Kurt sat straight up and turned around between Blaine's legs, complete surprise on his face. "But I thought…" he screeched.

Blaine smiled and kissed him quickly to interrupt, taking Kurt's hand. "Don't freak out Kurt, I want to go home with my Dad. I just don't want home to be Westerville. I want to stay at McKinley and I want to stay close to Sidney and I can't do that if I'm two hours away in Westerville. I want to stay close to you," he finished with a soft breath.

Kurt's blue eyes gleamed with delight at Blaine's words but they quickly turned to worry when reality set in. "Have you talked to your Dad about it yet?"

Blaine shook his head, but didn't answer. He lowered his eyes to where Kurt's thumb was rubbing soft circles on his skin and turned Kurt's palm over. He traced the soft line that ran down the center. "This is your fate line," Blaine whispered.

Kurt watched him, curiously. "What does it mean?" he hummed intimately.

"Yours is soft, strong. Joined with the life line, here," he said pointing it out. "It means you control your own fate. You figured out when you were little what you wanted to do and you're going to do it." Blaine looked up at him through his lashes, eyes sad, but mixed with pride for his boyfriend. Kurt would never let anyone or anything get in the way of his dreams.

Kurt looked to their hands and turned Blaine's palm over, tracing the same line on his darker, rougher skin. The line was deep and ragged. Blaine's eyes never left Kurt's as the soft touch sent shivers up his spine and made his voice breathy. "The deepness means that fate plays a strong role in controlling my life. The breaks signify conflict, trauma, and change." Blaine took hold of both of Kurt's hands and held them between his own. He kissed them tenderly. "I haven't had a lot of control in my life. But you inspire me so much to change all that and take charge of my destiny. I've never felt I had the right before, but now I do. I have to. For both of us."

Kurt reached up and caressed the slightly stubbled skin on Blaine's' cheek before drawing him close. Tenderly he brushed their lips together in a loving kiss. "I believe you will do it," Kurt sighed.

Blaine felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Xavien, peering down at them amused. "I have a favor to ask you Blaine, can you come with me a minute?" he asked with a crooked smile. Blaine shrugged apologetically to Kurt and followed his case worker.

Kurt watched Blaine proudly as he went off then glanced around the room, his eyes falling on another boy who was also watching Blaine. Nicholas leaned against the wall across the room, admiring from afar. Kurt recognized that look and he smiled fondly, remembering his own days of longing.

Kurt quietly slid up next to Nicholas, keeping his eye on Blaine. He nudged the boy and whispered, "You have a crush on Blaine?"

Nicholas' eyes snapped to Kurt's and widened in embarrassment as he stammered an answer. "What? No!"

Kurt's eyes sparkled with amusement and he leaned down to whisper conspiratorially with Nicholas. "I'll tell you a secret. I do too."

Nicholas blushed. "You can't have a crush on him, he's your boyfriend," he argued.

"Yeah, he is," Kurt smiled. "And I love him a lot. And you know one of the reasons why?"

Nicholas knew a lot of reasons why someone would love Blaine, but he just shyly shook his head.

"One of the reasons I love him is because of how much he cares about you," Kurt shared. "He tells me all the time how special you are."

Nicholas' face lit up like a Christmas tree and he turned to Kurt. "He does?"

"Yes, he does," he said warmly. "And because of that I know that out there in the world is someone special just waiting for you to love him."

"You really think so?" Nicholas asked.

Kurt smiled. "I know so," he said definitively.

Strong arms snaked around Kurt's waist from behind and warm lips kissed him on the cheek. A voice whispered in his ear. "I love you so much."

Kurt glanced down at Nicholas, a playful concern on his face. "It's Blaine, right?" he asked feigning worry.

Nicholas giggled and nodded, then took off with a wink back to the boys.

Kurt turned in Blaine's embrace, draping his arms over Blaine's shoulders as Blaine pulled him tightly to his chest. Kurt kissed his lips tenderly, not caring where they were or who was around, knowing they were safe here. He soaked in the love that filled his heart, sighing into the kiss until they parted. He looked down into beautiful hazel eyes, eyes that shined up with nothing but contentment. "I love you too, Blaine," Kurt whispered.

* * *

The food was running low, the drinks were empty and the sun was going down. "Speech, speech" the crowd called excitedly as everyone grabbed seats on the couches in the living room. Kurt didn't hesitate to take his place on Blaine's lap. After all, he needed to do his part in making room for everyone.

Cass looked out on the friends and staff, some of whom had been there for him for nearly the whole time he'd been there. He smiled at his caseworker Michael. They'd come so far from the beginning when he'd been a spoiled rotten sixteen year old who'd never respected a single limit or boundary in his life. Now he was leaving with self-assurance and self-respect.

"I really want to thank you all for throwing me this party. For some reason I'd been thinking that I'd walk through those doors, grab my bags and head out to my new apartment with a few goodbyes but barely a glance. But I'd forgotten what Sidney house was all about." Cass felt the tears welling in his eyes, and though his instinct was to laugh them away, this time he left the jokes aside. He tried though to avoid Sebastian's gaze. It wouldn't do to completely fall apart. "For everyone who wasn't here, when I first arrived, I was one huge pain in the ass." He heard Michael's fond laughter and continued. "I thought I could do what I wanted whenever I wanted. After all, that's what my life had always been like before I came here. But I soon found out that no one was going to put up with my shit here, and you guys taught me that I really didn't want to live that way anyway." He let his eyes fall on Sebastian, who had taught him more than anyone else and his heart filled with love. There was no denying it anymore. And as soon as he walked out that door there was nothing stopping it. "Everything I am today is because of each and every one of you here, and if I do say so myself, I've turned out pretty good."

"You have turned out pretty good," Michael said, walking over to clap him on the back and give him a hug.

"Thank you for everything," Cass whispered.

"Don't be a stranger," Michael told him.

Cass' eyes strayed to Sebastian. "Not a chance," he said and Michael nodded. Cass started the rounds then to say goodbye to everyone. He made plans with Blaine and Kurt to have them over to the apartment for a housewarming dinner as soon as he was settled in. Sebastian helped carry his bags out to the car while Cass said one last goodbye and closed the door to the place that was his home for the final time.

Sebastian closed the trunk of the car, the moonlight reflecting off the metal. Xavien would be out in only a few minutes to drive Cass to his apartment across town but they both knew they had a few moments. Sebastian though couldn't look at him, his eyes and cheeks wet. Cass grabbed his hand and turned him, instantly cupping his face to wipe it dry. "Shh…Seb, don't cry."

Sebastian leaned into one palm, nuzzling unconsciously as he closed his eyes against the stream of tears. "I can't help it."

"I meant everything I said in there, Seb. I am who I am now because of you. You are the one, Sebastian, who taught me that was no way to live." He tried to put into words everything his best friend had meant to him and he found it was nearly impossible, but he had to try. "As I started to become close to you, I realized that you were put in my life to change me. For years you were used, your body exploited, and it killed me to think that anyone, especially your parents, had ever done that to you. And at some point I began to realize that by throwing myself around the way I did that I was treating myself the same way others had treated you, and my parents were no better than yours for having let it happen." Cass watched him carefully, but Sebastian showed no sign that the words upset him, so he took a breath and continued. "And when I started to love you, I knew I had to either make a change or let you go. And I didn't want to let you go."

Sebastian felt the world had stopped turning and time had frozen. The blood coursed through his veins but it was making him tremble. "How long have you loved me?" he breathed.

Cass dipped his eyes and his lips twitched. "For just a little bit longer than you've loved me?" He glanced up, hopeful that his words were true.

Sebastian shook his head and looked up at the sky, his tear-streaked face shining from the light on the porch. "I don't think that's possible," Sebastian whispered quietly, before turning shyly back to Cass. "Because I think I've loved you forever."

Cass's anxious face melted into laughter and he shook his head with relief. "Well, I am a few months older than you," he quipped.

"Shut up and kiss me," Sebastian ordered, and he didn't have to wait long because Cass lunged forward, desperate to finally feel the strength of Sebastian's lips and to discover the taste of his skin after all this time. Both were breathless at the intensity of it, their hearts beating powerfully as months of longing and desire were finally freed and they drunk each other in. They'd poured their souls out to one another over the months they'd lived together, shared their deepest and darkest secrets, laughed and cried together. But they'd been unable to admit their love until this very moment and it was both the sweetest and the harshest thing in the world because it came with goodbye.

"I don't want to let you go," Sebastian whispered against Cass' ear when they'd finally broken apart, holding each other so closely they hoped they could become one.

"Then don't," Cass begged. "Because I'm not letting you go. Believe in us Seb. Believe in this."

"I can't stay here without you," he cried into Cass' shoulder.

"It's just a few months more," Cass reminded him. "Just a few months and we can be together again. You can get your own place and we can stay involved with OFC or we can live together and do it on our own. Whatever you want, Seb, it doesn't matter."

"I just want you," he answered without hesitation. Sebastian had never had any plans of remaining in foster care after he turned 18. A suitcase full of clothes, a plane ticket to Paris and his dual citizenship had been all he'd ever needed. Until now.

Cass kissed him again, this one for remembrance. It didn't matter if they would see each other tomorrow or not for a week, tonight was going to be one of the hardest of their lives, and they'd had more than their fair share of hard nights. They broke free at the sound of the front door opening and Xavien walked slowly toward them.

"Text me all night," Sebastian whispered to him. "Tell me everything about what it's like being in your own place. I'll read them first thing in the morning."

"I love you," Cass said one more time and with one more embrace before getting in the car.

Sebastian leaned down and stole one last kiss. "I love you too," he said and he stood waving until the car was down the road and out of sight.

Blaine came up behind him out of nowhere, wrapping his arms around his friend. Sebastian turned and fell into them, sobbing against his shoulder. Kurt watched from the doorway, finally understanding without a shadow of doubt that this was exactly where Blaine belonged.

* * *

The boy arrived with his social worker, scared and confused and with a chip on his shoulder from a world he'd been fighting for far too long. It had been the longest day of his life and he'd had long days before. He'd sat for five hours in the OFC office after being pulled from the home he'd only returned to a month earlier. He'd twiddled his thumbs, refusing every book and movie offered to him and trying not to imagine the worst while staring blankly at everyone who had walked through the doors. Finally, the bed opened up and he was driven in the dark to Sidney, his social worker trying to make small talk, trying to make it okay, trying to explain. But really, nothing explained any of this.

He met with a man named Michael who introduced himself as his new case worker and they went over the rules and routine at Sidney House. He didn't care. He wasn't staying. Given the first chance he planned on running.

"Hi," a soft but excited voice said and the boy looked up for the first time. A kid a year or two older than him was standing in the doorway, a sympathetic smile on his face. Warm hazel eyes looked him over, not with disgust or indifference, but with kindness. "My name's Blaine. It's nice to meet you."

Michael turned to the boy. "Blaine's going to be your buddy for the next few weeks. He'll show you around."

The boy got up and wordlessly went with Blaine, who tried to grab his bags, but was rebuffed. This wasn't his first program and no one was stealing his stuff. He followed him out into a living room. Balloons and streamers still hung from the ceilings from a party he had not been a part of. "Goodbye party," Blaine said in quick explanation. "What's your name?" he asked as they went up the stairs.

"Dylan," he mumbled. Blaine seemed nice enough, like he could be a friend even. But he wasn't getting close. He was just leaving soon anyway.

Blaine opened a door to a bedroom and Dylan walked in. "Tyler used to sleep on the top bunk but he's moved to Cass' old bed and now you get the top bunk," Blaine told him. Dylan looked at the boy on the bottom bunk. He looked a bit younger, shy, but handsome with thick brown hair and eyes that for some reason pierced his armor. The boy smiled. "Dylan this is Nicholas. Nicholas, this is Dylan."

"Hi," Nicholas greeted quietly. "I sleep pretty soundly so I don't shake the bunk. At least that's what Tyler says," he added with a chuckle.

Dylan shrugged. "That's okay," he said. He put his bag down. He hadn't planned on unpacking. But the room was welcoming and the boys were too and maybe it wouldn't be too bad to stay here for a little while. After all, where else did he think he was going to go? "So, um, where do I put my stuff?"


	19. Wisdom to Know the Difference

The last weekend of Chess performances went more perfectly than anyone could have imagined. Set changes were perfect, performances were perfect, and Kurt and Blaine felt more perfect than they ever would have thought possible. Every time Blaine sang  _Pity the Child_  he felt the heaviness in his chest lighten ever so slightly more, and on the final matinee, when his father sat in the house after quite a successful overnight visit, Blaine knew that whatever happened, he would be okay.

He was even more certain when Kurt's arms wrapped around him backstage after the final curtain call. Without hesitation, he leaned in and kissed Kurt deeply, pouring all of his love and hope and overwhelming relief into it. Kurt smiled beneath his lips and pulled him in even closer, never wanting to let go. "I am so proud of you Blaine, you were amazing," he whispered when they finally parted.

"No you were," Blaine countered, the flush of his cheeks giving away how important it was to hear those words from Kurt's lips. He linked his fingers with Kurt's and gave a gentle tug. "Come on, let's get changed so we can start helping with strike."

Kurt rolled his eyes as he trudged behind Blaine. "I can't wait until I work in a real theater and don't have to work after a final performance."

Blaine just chuckled. "You and Tina will get the costume closet back in tip-top shape before we even get the set half struck," he said.

As if to prove his point, Kurt started yelling as soon as they got back into the dressing room. "Attention everyone! There are boxes marked for hats, scarves, jewelry, etcetera all along the wall. Everything else goes on a hanger. Please, I beg of you, put everything where it belongs," he implored, then added with a smirk for good measure, "And if you don't know where something goes ask Tina."

Tina stuck her tongue out at him with a smile and Kurt smiled back. Blaine laughed and tussled Kurt's hair. Like everyone else, the two boys quickly changed and started working. The sooner everything was done, the sooner the cast party could begin. And it had been all the talk for weeks.

* * *

"So did you talk with your Dad last night?" Kurt asked. They had finally finished strike, showered and changed in the school locker room, and were on their way to the cast party. "About moving I mean?"

Blaine glanced quickly at Kurt but kept his eyes on the road as he drove to Artie's house. "No," he frowned almost apologetically. "I meant to, I tried a few times, but it was all going so well I was afraid to mess it up. I know I have to, but we were just talking, having a good time. We stayed up until 2 in the morning." Blaine smiled at the memory, then quickly turned. "Don't tell James or Xavien that, they'll never let me go back."

"Keep your eyes on the road, handsome, your secret is safe with me," Kurt assured him. "You need to talk to him soon though, you know. You can't just keep going on visits with everyone planning on you going home and then drop it on them last minute. You and your Dad need to make plans."

"I know," Blaine sighed, rubbing his neck. "It's just, well, it's not like I've ever asked my Dad for things or told him what to do before. I've spent my life tip-toeing around him, never making waves for fear that anything I said might drive him to drink or hurt my Mom or me. I know it's not going to be like that now, but I'm still scared." Blaine hadn't wanted to admit it, say the words out loud, but in the cover of darkness, not needing to look Kurt in the eye, it was easier. Kurt understood and took his hand, squeezing it in reassurance. Blaine bit his lip nervously. "What if he says no? What if he chooses the house over me?"

Kurt wanted to say he wouldn't. He wanted to say that no one would ever choose living without Blaine, but he knew that his mother already had and who was Kurt to say his father wouldn't make the same choice? So instead he focused on the alternatives. "If he says no, you either stay at Sidney or you come live with us. You know that."

"Yeah," Blaine muttered, his voice small. They pulled up to a spot by Artie's house, the road already full of cars. Blaine put the car in park, but made no motion to leave. Kurt took his seatbelt off and turned in his seat, needing to know that Blaine was okay. Finally Blaine turned and the sad glow of his hazel eyes nearly broke Kurt's heart. "I just don't wanna be a foster kid anymore. I want to belong to someone again."

Thought after thought rushed into Kurt's head but he knew that words were not what Blaine needed. Instead he combed his fingers through Blaine's hair and gently pulled their mouths together, kissing him softly, tenderly, hoping Blaine would understand that he would always, no matter what, belong to Kurt. He felt Blaine's tears on his cheeks, and Kurt tried to hold his back, but there was no way not to feel at least a small bit of what the love of his life was feeling.

"Oh don't cry, Kurt," Blaine said as he pulled away. He was quickly captivated by the glistening blue of Kurt's eyes. He wiped away his boyfriend's tears, then his own. "I'll get it right. I promise." He kissed him once more then turned to the door. "Let's just go inside." And before Kurt could say anything, Blaine had hopped out of the car and started toward the door.

Kurt rushed to catch up and together they made their way into the house. The party was spread amongst three rooms, Artie's parents nowhere in sight. All of the cast and crew and members of New Directions that hadn't been in the show were crowded around in groups laughing and singing and, much to the chagrin of Kurt, drinking. His heart immediately jumped in panic. He quickly scanned the home, noting Puck behind the bar in the den mixing drinks and handing out beer bottles. He grabbed Blaine's hand and pulled him into the kitchen toward Rachel and Finn as quickly as possible.

They greeted their friends and filled some plates with food. Sitting with Kurt, Kurt's brother and best friend, Blaine tried to feel like he belonged there. But something was off. He made small talk, smiling and nodding and holding Kurt's hand, but Kurt was on edge and it made Blaine jumpy. When the conversation turned to Barbara Streisand, Blaine excused himself to the living room where they were singing Karaoke. He took his turn as everyone expected. But it was like he was in a dream and even the music sounded far away as he heard himself sing. He looked around at the kids that surrounded him, happy and care free, some drinking freely from their red solo cups or bottles of beer and the smell wafted into Blaine's senses and tore him apart. All those kids would be going home to their families tonight and probably not one dreaded what their actions would lead to. They weren't in fear of being hurt or being kicked out, of waking in the morning to find that they were no longer welcome and would need a new place to live away from everyone and everything they held dear. They didn't live in fear at all.

He saw his friends cheering as he finished singing but he couldn't hear them over the pounding of his heart in his head and the rush of need that filled his nerves. Before he was aware how he'd gotten there, he found himself sitting at the bar, leaning with a casual smile as Puck popped the cap of a beer and handed it to Blaine. He took a swig and allowed the alcohol to wash over his fraying nerves, instantly calming him, soothing him, and miraculously bringing the world back into focus. He laughed at a joke that Puck was telling, and took another drink until Puck yelled across the room words that made Blaine freeze, bottle in the air. "Hey, Kurt, what'll it be?"

Blaine turned mid-swallow to meet Kurt's gaze and found an ocean of blue gone cold staring back at him. His heart stopped, his breath caught in his throat, until Kurt turned, grabbed his coat and slammed out the door. Then Blaine saw his world unravel before his eyes.

He grabbed his own coat and raced out after Kurt, not feeling one bit of the cold that struck him in the frozen night air. "Kurt, wait!" he yelled, desperate for him not to continue, not to walk out of his life forever. "Kurt, where are you going?"

Kurt turned on his heel. "I'm going home, Blaine," he said flatly.

"Kurt, please, don't leave," Blaine pleaded, his voice cracking with emotion. "I've only had two sips."

"So what am I supposed to do, Blaine? Wait until you finish that one and start on the next? Stand by and watch you get drunk before I quietly make my exit?"  Kurt fought back the tears that he refused to let fall. "I can't do that, Blaine. I won't do that," 

"I won't, Kurt, I promise. I didn't even mean to and I won't have any more. It's not a big deal!" Blaine begged frantically.

"Then why are you still holding the bottle?" Kurt demanded. Blaine looked down to see the moonlight glittering off the glass still in his hand. He hadn't even noticed that he'd taken it with him. In fact, he could have sworn that he'd put it down, but here it was, his fingers clenched tightly around the neck, just waiting to poison him once again. "I'm not going to put myself in danger and wait around until you're drunk to have this conversation," Kurt finished.

"Conversation?" Blaine snapped his eyes to meet Kurt's and they blazed in the darkness. Kurt instinctually took a step backwards, but Blaine didn't notice. "A conversation would be coming over to talk to me about your concerns. A conversation would be asking me to come outside with you so we can discuss this calmly. Grabbing your coat and storming out the door without even a word isn't what a conversation looks like, Kurt!"

"No!" Kurt shouted back. "It's what keeping a promise looks like!"

Kurt's words stung as surely as a slap across the face would have and Blaine closed his eyes. His fingers trembling from the impact, he tipped the bottle over, letting the amber liquid pour out of the glass and pool onto the ground beneath him. His tears followed as the bottle dropped from his hand. How had this night happened? How had he let it happen? One moment they were happy and on top of the world and the next he was breaking his own promises, forcing Kurt's hand and he didn't even know how he had gotten from one place to the next. Out of the shadows of his mind he heard footsteps, but the voices in his head were too loud to know if they were walking away or drawing near. All he could do was whisper through his sobs, "I'm sorry."

He felt strong, familiar hands on his biceps, then a kiss, soft and fleeting, on his forehead before he heard three words that he would hold in his heart forever.

"I love you," Kurt breathed and Blaine's eyelids fluttered open, resting on the most beautiful sight in the whole world. Kurt was a vision of gentleness, warmth, and pure unadulterated courage. "But I have to go."

"No," Blaine shook his head. "Please. You stay. I'll go." Kurt didn't look convinced so he tried one more time. "Please Kurt."

Kurt watched him for a moment, fighting with every breath he took the desire to wrap Blaine in his arms and tell him that everything was going to be okay, that they would make it through this. He feared Blaine leaving, feared what he might do, where he might go, but as much as he hated it Kurt knew those choices were Blaine's to make and that whatever he chose tonight could matter more than any other choice he made in his life. Kurt understood that this was Blaine's crossroads and he could not stand in his way. "Where will you go?" he whispered.

Blaine gave a tremulous smile and brushed Kurt's cheek once. "To get it right," he said, then walked to his car. Kurt turned to watch Blaine go, one step at a time, wrapping his arms around himself as the cold finally hit. The last words he'd sung that day came rushing back to him and he repeated them softly, slowly, his angelic voice floating on the breeze.

_You and I,_   
_We've seen it all,_   
_Chasing our hearts' desire,_   
_But we go on pretending_   
_Stories like ours_   
_Have happy endings._

The headlights lit the night sky like a beacon of hope then slowly faded away. Kurt felt arms wrap around him from behind and, together with Rachel's perfume, she soothed his aching heart just a touch. "You did the right thing," she gently assured him.

Kurt nodded, looking out onto the street where Blaine's car had disappeared behind the corner. He knew Rachel was right, but it didn't stop his heart from feeling torn in two. "Right doesn't make it any easier," he said.

* * *

Blaine's heart was racing, but his head was determined as he hit the highway heading south. He pulled out his phone and pressed the speed dial, then pulled over to the breakdown lane. As impatient as he was, he knew he shouldn't be using the phone while driving, especially in his current state. He breathed a sigh of relief when Michael answered the phone.

"Hey, it's Blaine," he told the head of the night staff. "I need the nearest and soonest AA meeting in the area."

He heard Michael start clicking away on the computer. "Are you driving Blaine?" he asked while he searched. "Are you sober?"

"Yes and yes," Blaine answered quickly. He didn't want to talk, he didn't want to explain what had happened. Sitting here even for a moment was killing him. He and Xavien had talked about it after Scandals, they'd written it into the safety plan he'd signed, and now he just needed to get the information and go.

Michael sensed it and silence filled the line until the Meeting Locator produced one possibility. "There's a meeting at 8:30, Aunt Millie's Restaurant in Russell's Point," he told Blaine and gave him the address. "Be safe and call if you need us. Check in when it's over and I'll extend your curfew."

"Thanks Michael," Blaine said sincerely, and hung up to plug the address into his GPS. He put on some music to try and settle his jittery nerves as he drove the half hour east. He tried not to replay the evening in his mind, the look of disappointment and fear in Kurt's eyes. He tried not to think about the possibility that he'd crossed a line he could never come back from. He'd imagined Kurt keeping his promise a hundred times, he'd awoken from nightmares about it, but never had Kurt kissed him in the end. Never had he said he loved him. Never had Blaine recognized the courage in Kurt's heart that it took to do what he did tonight, but Kurt's courage and determination fueled his own.

He pulled up to the dimly lit restaurant and parked next to a few cars in the front parking lot about ten minutes before the start of the meeting. A few more cars were parked in the darkness on the side. It was clear to Blaine that the restaurant wasn't open for business, but some lights were on inside and he made his way nervously to the front door. He'd never been to an AA meeting and he knew very little of what to expect. But the small sign taped on the door indicated he was in the right location.

He walked down a hallway, toward the small lit function room, and paused outside the door. A few people lingered, chatting quietly as they filled cups with coffee and plates with muffins or donuts. A lady filled a small glass bowl with cut fruit. They were almost all older than him, in their 30s or 40s but one man in jeans and a t-shirt looked to be in his early 20's and smiled welcomingly at Blaine from across the room. Chairs sat in a circle in the center of the floor, waiting for secrets to fill the air. He took a breath, knowing that no matter how scared he was, he had to do this if he was ever to have a chance of Kurt taking him back. He was about to step inside, when a voice behind him took him completely by surprise.

"Blaine?"

He recognized his father's voice immediately.

"Dad," Blaine gasped as he turned, his face filled with shock. "What are you doing here?"

"This is one of the meetings I sometimes go to," John Anderson explained softly. "Especially when I'm on my way home from seeing you."

"But you left the school hours ago," Blaine said, his eyes narrowing worriedly.

John smiled reassuringly. "I have some friends in the area that I've started spending time with on days like today. They're good supports Blaine, I promise. I'll introduce you to them sometime."

"Ok," Blaine nodded, still suspicious. And worried. He'd come where he thought he would be safe, anonymous. Somewhere no one knew him and he didn't know anyone and he could share as he wanted or didn't want. Now he didn't have that. He had his father who had abused him in the past for his truth and who was changing, but he still wasn't sure how much. Blaine didn't know if he could sit there and listen. And if his father had been here before, he suspected that his story had already been told, through his father's eyes.

They stood quietly for a moment, questions hanging in the air, but neither knowing how to bring it up. Finally though, John asked. "Are you okay with me being here?"

"I don't know, I just…" Blaine answered half-heartedly. He didn't want to leave. He had to do this, for himself and for Kurt and he didn't want his father to get in the way of that. "I mean, do they know about me?"

John looked at him, gauging his son's reaction, but he answered honestly. "Yes."

Blaine bit his lip and turned to look inside. A few more had come in past them talking, and he realized that it didn't really matter. Not for one night. No matter what, he was staying and he couldn't ask his father to turn away from one of the things helping to bring him home. "Okay," Blaine nodded. "You won't tell them who I am, right?"

John gave him a quick squeeze on the shoulder. "That's totally up to you," he promised.

"Good. Ok, let me just make sure the program doesn't have a problem with it and I'll be right in," Blaine said. He walked outside into the cool night air and called Michael quickly. He told Blaine it was fine with them if it was fine with him, and Blaine made his way back inside.

Blaine walked straight to the coffee pot and grabbed a cup of coffee and some cookies before finding a chair in the circle, across from his father. He planned on listening, not talking. He knew enough to know that was okay. What he didn't know was what his father would do.

"AA is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other..." the leader began.

Blaine's attention was split between the leader talking and watching his father. It was strange seeing him in this environment, not as father and son, but as peers. It was the first time he'd ever felt that way. At home he'd always been the authority in the house, in counseling the roles were still clearly defined. But here, no one knew they were father and son. They were just two people off the street in the same place for the same reason. Because alcohol threatened to destroy themselves and the people they loved. But they were both still here. So maybe it wasn't too late.

His attention snapped back when his father began to speak. He nervously curled his legs underneath him on the chair and stared at his hands in his lap. His heart beat furiously in his chest and he held his breath, if only to make sure that he didn't miss a single world.

"Hi. My name is John," he said, looking around the group. His eyes landed briefly on Blaine, but he didn't allow them to linger. He didn't want to bring attention and he hoped his words would be enough. "Most of you know that I have a son, Blaine, in foster care out here. In a program really. And I often find myself stopping here when I go out there to visit or for counseling because it's really hard to see him."

Blaine bit his lip but refused to look up. He felt the heat in the room rise as the sweat started to pool onto his skin. Even in counseling, his father rarely allowed himself to be vulnerable. But though it made him feel self-conscious and uncomfortable, Blaine also welcomed it. He had been desperate for so long to understand his father and to know the truth. He understood that his dad would never feel totally comfortable with Xavien or even their family counselor. This was his chance to share without judgment. And Blaine promised himself that whatever his father said, he would honor that.

"I know I wasn't the father that I should've been to him," John continued, his voice filled with both regret and strength. "In fact, when I was drinking I was horrible, to him and his mother. But the one thing I've really learned from AA is to try to accept the things I cannot change. And as much as I wish I could," his gaze fell on Blaine, who peeked ever so discreetly through his lashes, "I can't change anything that's already happened. I can only do better from now on."

Blaine pursed his lips and closed his eyes, resting his chin on his hands. He knew his father was right. He'd talked with Xavien at length about that very thing. But when the nightmares came at night, when the triggers stole his breath during the day, when he found himself swigging a bottle of alcohol he barely remembered getting, accepting that the past was over was near impossible. He would continue to try though.

John cleared his throat, and shifted in his seat, Blaine's struggle evident on his face. He had a moment here, a chance he hadn't expected, to make right something that had gone wrong. "Anyway, Blaine is an amazing singer and actor and he was the star of his school musical this year," he shared with pride. "I went once before but today was his last performance so I went again today. There's a song he sings in the show. I think it's called  _Pity The Child_." Blaine nodded into his hand, imperceptible to most but his father caught it. "And there's a line that hit me really hard today. He sings,  _He never asked did I cause your distress. Just in case they said yes._ And in that moment, all I wanted to do was run up on that stage and take him in my arms and swear to him that it was never his fault."

Blaine's eyes snapped up and locked on his father. People had been telling him it wasn't his fault since he entered foster care. But this was the first time the words nearly penetrated his heart.

"I may have done a lot of things wrong, but I have always known my son. And I knew last night that there was something he was holding back, something he wanted to say or ask. But he didn't out of fear. And I just really want him to know he doesn't have to be afraid anymore."

Blaine watched his father as he finished, emotions coursing through his veins, too many to count or calculate. He felt like his skin was electrified and he could have sworn his hands were shaking. He looked at the others in the group who thanked his father for speaking and Blaine felt frozen, unsure and yet absolutely certain at the same time. For the second time that day he felt outside of himself and he watched as he heard his own voice, speaking without his permission.

"Hi. My name is Blaine," he started, and it was his own name that rushed him back to reality of the present and he made a quick decision whether or not to continue. They would all know now who he was. They would know his past without breathing a word. His anonymity was gone, and he settled with the realization that he'd taken it away from himself. So he continued with the things he needed to say, because, as he looked at his sweating palm, tracing the center line, he suddenly realized that everything that day had happened for a reason. "I had no idea when I came today that my father would be here too. But fate is a powerful force in my life and maybe I need to start accepting that," he began.

He looked up and met his father's smiling face, eyes beaming with pride and encouragement. And Blaine took a breath, because he'd hidden this from his father and in the past the consequences would have been enormous. But it was why he was here, for himself and for Kurt, and he wouldn't look back now. "Anyway, I came because, well, my father is an alcoholic and he's done some pretty horrible things while drunk. And it turns out that apparently the apple really doesn't fall too far from the tree. A few weeks back I went to a bar with my…"

Blaine paused, taking in the faces that were watching him. They'd been tolerant so far, accepting, kind. He looked to his father who nodded his approval and Blaine couldn't help the small smile that escaped his lips as he continued.

"…with my boyfriend. And I drank, and I got drunk. And we got into an argument and I pushed him against the door of the car."

Recounting the things he'd kept hidden from his father the first time he'd confessed his trip to Scandals was difficult, but not as hard as he thought it would be. His father's face stayed neutral, listening. Blaine continued.

"Afterwards, Kurt told me he'd never let me hurt him again and I made him promise. I've seen too much and been through too much to want him ever to go through that if it turned out I was just like my dad. He also promised that if he saw me drink again, he'd leave. I didn't think I ever would again after what I'd done. But I was wrong. We were at a party tonight. And I barely remember how or why but suddenly a beer was in my hand and I'd taken two sips. When he tried to go, I told him I'd leave instead. I don't know if that was the right thing to do, taking the power away from him. But I honestly couldn't bear to watch him walk away from me. Even though maybe it would have been an important image to have burned into my mind."

He caught his father's nod of affirmation and Blaine wondered the images that were burned into his mind. He wondered if they haunted him. Blaine had enough though and he couldn't take anymore.

"All I know is I've lost too much already, and I'll do whatever it takes not to lose him too."

* * *

As soon as the meeting ended, Blaine went to grab more coffee. He couldn't approach his father right away and it seemed John felt the same way. The air around them both was heavy and electric with confessions and truth and it needed to clear just a little.

"Blaine." A gentle voice turned him as he mixed the cream and sugar into his cup. The leader of the meeting was smiling down warmly at him and Blaine smiled back. Then he held out a round silver token for Blaine to take. "Congratulations. And I hope we'll see you again," he said, before walking away.

Blaine examined the coin he was given. On the front was engraved a triangle, inside of which the number 24 was encircled with HOURS written underneath. On the outside of each leg of the triangle were the single words UNITY, SERVICE and RECOVERY. And on the edges of the coin were the words TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE. Blaine turned it over. On the back was the serenity prayer, the all important words Blaine was starting to learn to live by.

"It's your first chip," John Anderson told him, finally approaching his son. His voice was soft with affection and pride. Blaine looked up nervously. "It's for your first 24 hours of sobriety."

"But I haven't been sober for 24 hours," Blaine protested, his sense of guilt evident as he tried to hand the coin back.

His father though tucked it back into his hand and wrapped Blaine's fingers around it, holding his own hand around his son's. "It's sometimes called a desire coin. Consider it a promise. A pledge. This day, you will start to do better."

Blaine looked at their hands and closed his eyes as he began choking up again. "All those things you said." He looked up through damp lashes.

"I meant every word," John smiled faintly.

"You were right," Blaine whispered, his voice overcome with emotion until it grew a little stronger. "There was something I wasn't saying last night. Or rather, something I wasn't asking."

"Well then." John patted Blaine's hand with a broader smile now and started to make two plates of food. "Let's grab some refreshments and some coffee before they take it all away, and find ourselves a private place to talk."

Blaine flashed an approving smile and followed his father's lead, carrying his coffee and a plate, to a small booth in the corner of the restaurant. He felt lighter, and less afraid, but he still worried about his father's answer. He picked at the cookies on his plate, sipped at his coffee and avoided his father's glance.

"Come on Blaine, out with it," his father prompted encouragingly. "I won't bite."

Blaine chuckled nervously and looked his Dad in the eye. He still wasn't used to the warmth and sincerity and care that gazed back at him, but it gave him courage. "Ok," he said, taking a deep breath. "You know that I want to go home with you, right?"

"Yes," John responded, trying to keep his own nerves hidden from his son.

Blaine huffed, running a hand through his hair. "God, this is hard to say."

John caught Blaine's hand in his and held it tightly. "Just say what you need to say Blaine. I'm not letting go."

Blaine's eyes snapped to John's in amazement. It gave him the strength he needed to forge ahead. "I don't want to move back to Westerville," he blurted out quickly. His father's eyes blinked, his hand spasmed and though the cues were tiny, Blaine had grown acutely aware of them over the years. "I still want to be home with you Dad," Blaine tried to explain to him, fighting back his own small panic. "I just…I just don't want home to be Westerville."

John was quiet, trying to understand while he took a moment to collect his thoughts. "Where do you want home to be then?" he asked in a low, steady voice.

"Somewhere where I can stay at McKinley. And still be near Sidney House. Keep seeing Xavien privately, and our family counselor." Blaine watched him nervously.

"Are you scared to come home with me?" John asked sadly.

Blaine dropped his eyes to the table. "Yes," he admitted. "Not as scared as I used to be, but…"

"I'm scared too," John admitted. "But I don't think your Mom's coming home, and it is an awful big house for just the two of us."

Blaine wasn't sure he could take any more surprises this evening, and his jaw slacked open as he stared wide-eyed and hopeful at his father. "Really?"

"I can't make promises," John warned him. "And the commute would be a lot longer for me to get to work. But let me check it out." Blaine tried to answer, but he was totally speechless. John squeezed his hand. "Truth is Blaine, there are a lot of bad memories in that house. It might be good for both of us to start fresh."

Blaine nodded pensively, and said the only words that came to mind. "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change."

"Courage to change the things I can," John smiled.

Blaine smiled back at his father. "And the wisdom to know the difference."

* * *

Blaine pulled into the parking lot of Sidney House, feeling hopeful about his future, and comfortable with the decisions he would soon have to make, whatever way he decided to go.

He looked at the clock. It was late. He didn't know if Kurt would still be up or not. He doubted he was still at the cast party. Probably some of the kids were, but Kurt wouldn't let himself spend the whole night there, not with school the next day. Blaine didn't want to wake him if he was sleeping. He didn't even know if Kurt was ready to talk to him again. But he couldn't end the day without at least reaching out, so he took out his phone.

_**I just wanted to say goodnight. And I'm so sorry. And I love you so much, Kurt.** _

He waited a few minutes, but nothing came, so he sighed and stepped out of his car. He went inside and signed in and begged Michael to let him keep his phone just until he was ready for bed. Michael gave him five minutes and Blaine went upstairs, changed into his pajamas and brushed his teeth. His heart grew heavier with every step, trying to tell himself that Kurt was probably sleeping and it didn't mean anything, but the silence on his phone was deafening.

He walked back down and crossed the living room, reaching the office just as his phone buzzed twice. He whipped it up and read the text, his face slowly growing into a beautiful smile. He handed the phone in, but it didn't matter anymore, the words continued to buzz in his mind as he climbed into bed and cuddled into his pillow.

_**We'll talk tomorrow. I love you too, Blaine.** _


	20. Hello and Goodbye

He walked into school Monday morning, his nervous stomach tempered by hope and determination. Blaine surveyed the hallway seeking out his boyfriend, if he even was that anymore, in all of his usual locations. But Kurt was nowhere to be found. His stomach tying in knots, Blaine tried one last place: homeroom.

Kurt was sitting at his desk, his lips pursed, concentrating heavily on the phone in his lap. He didn't see Blaine approach the front of his desk, or at least he didn't look up. Blaine's heart was pulsing in his ears, but he reached into his pocket and placed the silver coin down on Kurt's desk.

"What's that?" Kurt asked flatly without looking up. He reached a hand out and touched the coin, studying it, but raised his eyes no further.

"It's my first coin, from the AA meeting I went to last night. Some call it a desire coin. To help get through the first 24 hours," Blaine responded nervously. Kurt kept hold of the coin and raised his eyes up to meet Blaine's, curiosity not anger shining through. Blaine let it encourage him and he rambled on. "I called the program as soon as I left the party and found the closest one, and the crazy thing was my Dad was there too, and Kurt, he said the most amazing things and then we talked after about moving and he wasn't angry at me, and….why are you looking at me like that?"

As Blaine rambled on, Kurt's eyes shifted and became softer, brighter, sparkling a brilliant blue. He rested his head on his hand, and a small but beautiful smile escaped his lips. "Do you know how much I love you?" Kurt asked dreamily.

Blaine's breath caught in his throat, and his eyes filled with unshed tears. He choked back a laugh and shook his head. "No probably not," he smiled with relief. "But it can't possibly be as much as I love you."

* * *

They walked, hand in hand, around the park after school. To Blaine the world seemed brighter, from the glistening of the ice clinging to the leaf-bare trees to the sound of children playing on the swings. Kurt looked brighter too, less haunted, and he suddenly realized how much everything Blaine had been going through had been weighing on Kurt. He wondered how he'd missed that, but then again, spending three months in care would make anyone at least a little bit selfish.

But he could suddenly see a light at the end of the tunnel, a new beginning on the horizon. Things were coming together. He and his father were doing what they needed to do and in her own way, his mother was too. Christmas was coming soon and he would spend it at home, safely, for the first time. Last night was a turning point for him and today felt easier, lighter. So Kurt's next words took Blaine by surprise.

"I'm sorry," Kurt said regretfully, as they walked. "I was wrong last night."

Blaine stopped and took Kurt's other hand fiercely in his own and squeezed tightly. "No. You were right to keep your promise Kurt," he said firmly.

Kurt nodded, his eyes squinting in the bright sunlight. "I was. But I did it the wrong way. You were right, Blaine. I shouldn't have just stormed out. I should have come and talked to you calmly. I could have told you I was leaving. Maybe asked you to come with me. Maybe we both just should have left as soon as we saw the bar."

"That's a lot of shoulds and coulds for next time Kurt," Blaine said softly. "But if we didn't do it right last night, I'm glad we did it wrong. Because amazing things came out of it that wouldn't have happened any other way. Maybe things really do happen for a reason."

Kurt lowered his gaze to the ground, and chewed his lip, mulling something over. Blaine watched and worried as Kurt reached into his inside coat pocket and pulled out a letter. Holding it out to Blaine, he peered up anxiously. "Maybe they do."

Blaine searched Kurt's face for any sort of clue that would tell him what was inside but Kurt simply stood still. Blaine took the envelope and turned it over in his hand. It was addressed to Blaine, but the address was Kurt's and the postmark was Los Angeles, CA. His hands shook slightly, from the cold he told himself, as he slipped a finger in the opening to break the seal. He pulled out the single piece of paper, unfolded it and glanced at the first line. His eyes shot up. "Kurt?" he said in a small panicky voice, before Kurt placed a warm hand on his.

"Just read it," Kurt begged.

Blaine dropped the letter to his side, looking around for a bench and walked over in a fog, collapsing into it. Kurt followed, falling in right beside him so their legs were touching, and his hand was on Blaine's thigh while he read. He hoped he'd done the right thing.

_Dear Blaine,_

_It's been a long time little brother. Too long. There are probably things I should say here, probably even things I should do, but I've never been very good at the family stuff. I've never been very good at much of anything except being anybody but myself._

_That's a good boyfriend you've got there. Kurt must love you a lot to find a way to make a letter get to me. Keep him, because that kind of love is really hard to find in the world Blaine._

_He told me what's been going on. Part of me wishes that you'd called me, but I wouldn't be fooling anyone if I said that I would have come. You knew that. You always knew me better then I knew myself. Do you remember that?_

_I love you though Blaine. Even through the silence I have loved you and I've thought about you, what you must be doing with your life. Don't let Mom and Dad and everything that's happening get you down. You're an Anderson, and that means something._

_I'm going to try to come out and see you this summer. I've got a few feelers on some gigs in Ohio, or maybe I'll just take some time off. I'd like to get to know you again. I think I owe you that._

_Keep your head up Blaine. You're the strongest person I know._

_Love,  
Cooper_

Blaine lowered the letter and hunched over, resting his elbows on his knees, and wiped his eyes with his sleeve. He stared straight ahead, seeing nothing, as he slowly breathed out his shock and his grief. "You wrote him?"

"Are you mad at me?" Kurt asked timidly.

"I should be," Blaine answered honestly.

Kurt nodded and sighed with understanding. "But are you?" he asked again.

Blaine peered over his shoulder to look at Kurt. Ingenious Kurt, who had found some way to write to his brother and have it be seen. Sweet Kurt who Cooper told him never to let go of. Perfectly imperfect Kurt who had stood by his side, for good and for bad, for the past three months when it was possibly the hardest thing he'd ever done. "I could never be mad at you," Blaine whispered.

Kurt laughed, his adorable little cackle that could make Blaine smile on his worst days. "I will be sure to remind you of that in ten years when our children are throwing horrible tantrums and you're pissed because they learned it entirely from me."

Blaine sat up in amazement. "You see us together, in ten years? With children?" Blaine asked wondrously.

Kurt smirked as he cupped Blaine's face, tickling his thumb over the course stubble just beginning to appear. "I see us together forever, Blaine," Kurt told him as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Blaine smiled brightly and kissed him, in the middle of the park, in front of families and children and anyone who wanted to watch them, because Blaine didn't care. He had messed up, Kurt had kept his promise, and the most beautiful boy in the world still pictured them together forever. With that kind of love, Blaine knew he could get through anything.

* * *

Christmas was bittersweet. As soon as his Dad picked him up, he and Blaine went searching for the perfect tree to inaugurate their first Christmas of their new relationship. They went home and decorated, pulling out the ornaments and lights and tinsel that Blaine's mom had packed away each year. They popped popcorn to string and laughed, with a steady stream of Holiday classic movies playing in the background.

Blaine called his mother Christmas Eve. She was settling in nicely with her sister and was looking for work. She said she was clean, though Blaine didn't know whether or not to believe her. He understood now how much easier it was said than done. He began to forgive her. She asked them if they could pack her things and send them to her in Indiana. She wasn't coming home. He and his Dad planned to do it the day after Christmas, before Blaine went back to the program.

Christmas morning Blaine awoke to the smell of pancakes and bacon, and to just enough snow falling outside to make it truly feel magical but not ruin their plans for the day. He sent off a few quick texts before heading downstairs.

**To Kurt: Merry Christmas, I love you. See you soon!**

**To Sebastian: We'll pick you up at 10, so get your ass out of bed and don't be grumpy. It's Christmas morning!**

**To Cass: Rise and Shine, bachelor. We'll be there about 10:15.**

Blaine slipped on a sweatshirt, shoved his phone in his pocket and ran downstairs. The presents under the tree called to him, but hearing his father happily singing in the kitchen was the best present he could have wished for. "Merry Christmas Dad!" Blaine grinned.

"Merry Christmas Blaine," John beamed back and pointed to the table before flipping the last of the pancakes. "They probably aren't as good as your mother makes, but I've been learning since she left."

"Well, the bacon's crisp so that's all that matters," Blaine winked as he grabbed five slices and took a bite. He piled his plate with pancakes, drizzling the syrup on top. His phone started buzzing with responses.

**From Kurt: Merry Christmas Blaine. I can't wait until you get here! I've missed you!**

**From Sebastian: If you don't want grumpy then you're going to have to get me a new set of staff who aren't pissed off they're here instead of home on Christmas morning.**

**From Cass: Don't call me bachelor in front of Seb, he'll either punch you or straddle me.**

Blaine laughed as his Dad sat down with him. They ate with easy conversation about work and school and John's plans to try and sell the house. When they were done they opened presents. Blaine had bought his dad a watch, nothing fancy, but something to commemorate the start of their new time together. Blaine's dad had bought him a new IPhone and IPad, the latter to be kept at home for visits, as well as a bunch of new clothes and gift cards for Blaine to go shopping with Kurt.

Speaking of Kurt, Blaine was nearly bouncing off the walls while getting ready to go. He'd picked out his favorite outfit at the program and carefully dressed, wanting to look perfect. He and his father got in the car and drove to Sidney House. It had taken a lot of convincing to allow Mr. Anderson to transport Sebastian, but in the end it was Christmas and waivers were quickly approved by social workers if for no other reason than no kid should spend Christmas alone. And Sebastian already had for way too many years.

Sebastian and Cass were quiet in the backseat, holding hands, staring lovingly into one another's eyes. Blaine thought it was sweet, but he worried how his Dad would take it, until he saw John smiling softly at the image in his rear view mirror. Blaine didn't know if it was their soft affection or just the overwhelming sense of family and friendship on a beautiful Christmas day, but to see his father smile like that brought happy tears to Blaine's eyes.

"Are your parents okay with you not going home from Christmas?" Blaine asked Cass, knowing how close they were.

"We spent last night together and exchanged presents." He looked at Sebastian and smiled. "But I told them I wanted to spend Christmas with my boyfriend and they understood," he said.

The moment they arrived at the Hudmels, Kurt pulled Blaine inside with a glowing smile. It had only been a few days since they'd seen each other but today was Christmas and they were together and if things had been only a little bit different it might not have been that way. "Merry Christmas," Kurt breathed as he captured Blaine's lips in his. It wasn't that they forgot that there were people around. It's that they felt safe in the company that surrounded them.

"Thanks for inviting us," Cass said politely, shaking Burt's hand.

"My pleasure kid," Burt assured him with a fond hand to his shoulder. He peered over to Sebastian. "You too, son."

They all froze as soon as the word left Burt's lips, holding their breaths to see how Sebastian would react. Cass grabbed his hand and squeezed, and Sebastian slowly relaxed, his eyes warily shifting to Burt. "I'm happy to be here," he murmured anxiously. Cass gave Burt an apologetic smile, letting him know it would all be okay, and he took Sebastian away from the crowd to process what had just happened.

At Christmas dinner, Burt watched them all carefully, this strange and new little family that sat around the table. He'd been hesitant when Kurt approached him about inviting Sebastian and Cass for Christmas, but he couldn't knowingly leave a kid without a place to go for the holiday and he thought it might be best if he got to know them better anyway. It seemed that they were going to be a part of Blaine's life for a long time, which meant they would be a part of Kurt's. It was best that he learn more about them.

"So you've moved out on your own now?" Carole was asking Cass. "How are things going?

"Well it's certainly not as easy as I thought it would be," Cass admitted. "The money I get from the state barely pays my rent and then I have all my other bills, and food and clothes and books for school once I start at the community college next semester. I'm working on getting a job, but no one wants to hire a kid with a GED and no work history. Not to mention the lack of transportation severely limits my options."

Carole made sure to pack him a bag full of leftovers to take home once supper was done. Kurt and Blaine helped the Hudmel family and Blaine's dad clean up in the kitchen while Sebastian and Cass slipped off with a wink at their friends to the guest room. When Burt suggested they go watch a movie out in the living room, Kurt quickly brought out the deck of cards instead and they all settled at the kitchen table. Blaine just chuckled to himself, a small blush on his cheeks while Kurt shrugged and smiled shyly. They knew how precious time could be to a couple in love.

They said their goodbyes around 8 o'clock, and Blaine kissed Kurt, promising to see him at least once more before school started again. They made a date for dinner and a movie. Burt reluctantly agreed as long as they texted him pictures of the menu and the movie screen. He'd figure out how to use those new fangled phones if it meant making sure that Kurt was safe and where he was supposed to be. It had been a while since the incident at Scandals and Kurt and Blaine had proven they could protect themselves. He had to let them go at some point.

The next day Blaine helped his father pack his mother's things and taped them all up in boxes. Together they cried for all they had lost and for all they were gaining. It was time for both of them to move on, though it might prove to be the hardest thing they'd ever done.

When Blaine returned to Sidney House the day after Christmas, he was surprised to find Kurt and Burt sitting at a brand new piano with a giant red bow on it.

"Merry Christmas Blaine," Kurt said with a sly smile, before launching himself into Blaine's arms.

"But I don't understand," Blaine stammered, as he sat shakily at the keys. He brushed his fingers over them while the rest of the kids and staff gathered around.

"There's an amazing program run by an amazing woman who helps kids in foster care have access to activities or sports equipment or musical instruments, just to feel as normal as possible again," Burt explained with a grin.

"We'll figure out how to move it home with you when you go," Xavien told him.

But Blaine shook his head. "No," he said, already closing his eyes as he started to play. "This piano belongs here for every kid who wants to make music."

* * *

"Come on Kurt, let's go dance," Blaine urged with a seductive grin. He held a hand out to Kurt, who answered with a smile, and led his boyfriend out to the dance floor of a Columbus night club on teen night. On his way out, Blaine turned back to Cass and gave him an encouraging nod toward Sebastian. Now was the time. Sebastian's birthday was less than three months away.

"I thought they'd never leave," Sebastian purred, pulling his chair around the small circular table even closer to his boyfriend. He wasted no time and leaned in, nuzzling Cass' neck. Shivers shot up Cass' spine as Sebastian licked a small strip beneath his ear and began suckling at the rough skin. Cass moaned, nearly forgetting what they needed to talk about when Sebastian's hand snaked under the table, palming him through his jeans. Every muscle twitched with need. "God I just want to take you in the bathroom right now," Sebastian whispered as he stroked perfectly against Cass' growing hardness. "I can't wait until we have our own apartment."

"Oh my god, Seb, you have to stop," Cass choked, barely able to keep sense enough to make him. But he placed a hand on Sebastian's and linked their fingers, pushing him away with enormous regret. He forced Seb's lips from his neck with his other hand, nearly giving in when Sebastian's lust-blown smoky eyes met his and his lips chased Cass'. "Seb, baby, we need to talk about that."

"About how good I'm going to make you feel?" Sebastian grinned wildly, diving in again, but Cass pulled away with a soft chuckle.

"No," Cass said gently. "About us getting an apartment together."

Sebastian didn't miss the hint of apology in Cass' eyes. He pulled away immediately. "You don't want me," he accused, his voice clipped.

"Oh quit your drama," Cass snapped, calling him out. He took Sebastian's hand back and didn't let him pull away. Sebastian scowled but relaxed. "Of course I want you, Seb. When I close my eyes at night I dream about waking up next to you. But we can't do it, not yet."

Sebastian wasn't an idiot. He knew what Cass was getting at and he wanted nothing to do with it. "I'm not signing back in. Why the hell would you want to stay with the state looking over your shoulder every minute? Keeping us apart? We can do this alone," Sebastian insisted.

"No, Seb, we can't," Cass told him. "I thought we could but I'd be drowning without them. There's no way I could pay tuition on my own and then I'd lose my chance at school, which means I'd lose my job at school. We don't have any transportation to get another job which means I'd lose my apartment –"

"Fine, then you stay. But I'll do it on my own," Sebastian declared stubbornly. "I've survived out there before-"

"And what did you do to survive Seb?" Cass argued desperately. "You'll have rent to pay and a cell phone bill and heat and food and an emergency that will make you scared of where the next dollar is coming from. You think foster care is bad but it's terrifying out here and I know you Seb." Cass' eyes misted as he clung to the hope that Sebastian would understand. "I know what you're going to do the minute the money runs out. And I love you and I don't ever want you to do that again. I don't ever want you to sell yourself to survive."

Sebastian's eyes dropped as the music of the club filled his ears again. How many nights had he spent in a place just like this one, waiting for some sweaty guy to grab his ass and slip some cash into his back pocket? He'd hated it. "I don't want to do it again either," Sebastian whispered, holding Cass' hand tight. "I just want you."

"Then sign back in. Get an apartment in my building. Go to school." Cass reached out and lovingly brushed his fingers through Sebastian's hair. "We can do this together."

Sebastian looked over at their two friends, dancing carefree in the middle of the dance floor as if nothing else mattered. They had their parents and another year of high school, but they also had each other. "Like Burt Reynolds and Betty White?" Sebastian said with a smirk.

Cass rolled his eyes and shook his head. Sebastian would never change and Cass wouldn't want it any other way. "Yes, like Blaine and Kurt," he agreed with a fond smile. "Only better," he added with a wink, then pulled him by the hand. "Now come on and dance with me!"

* * *

A month before Sebastian's 18th birthday, John Anderson finally sold his house and found a nice two bedroom apartment in Lima where he and Blaine could live. Blaine began spending more time there, helping his Dad move in and getting used to spending only 10 minutes instead of 35 to get to school every morning. He and his dad did a lot of work with Xavien to prepare for going home and James spent a lot of time talking to them about safety planning and relapse prevention. Visiting was one thing. Parenting was another.

Blaine made sure though to spend plenty of time with his friends at Sidney House. He and Sebastian went apartment hunting and eventually settled on a place two blocks from Cass' apartment. The social workers insisted that they live in different buildings, but it was close enough that they would rarely be apart unless they wanted to. Sebastian registered for summer classes at Edison Community College with Cass and started looking for a job. Blaine was proud of him and though he'd never admit it, that meant the world to Sebastian.

Blaine auditioned for the spring show at the Sidney Theater with Tyler and was cast as one of the leads. Rehearsals would take away from time with his dad, but it would be good to still have the chance to see his friends. Plus time apart would do him and his dad good. Neither of them were perfect. There would continue to be difficult moments for both of them. Having the theater for Blaine to escape to, both literally and figuratively, would be a very important part of his recovery and their success as a family.

He spent a lot of time with Nicholas. Blaine had never had a little brother before and Nicholas needed someone, family, that would never let him down. So they did the things that brothers would do. Blaine and Kurt took him and Dylan to the movies on completely unofficial double dates, then spent hours together whispering after lights out about Nicholas' feelings. Blaine took him clothes shopping and bought him his very first bow tie. He started teaching him to play the piano and discovered Nicholas had a gift for it. Blaine held him while he cried after a particularly dreadful visit with his father. And he sat in the silence of the therapy room with him as Nicholas refused to see anyone else for two hours when his goal was changed to adoption.

Sidney House planned a joint goodbye party for Sebastian and Blaine. They'd be leaving the same day, Blaine heading to Lima with his Dad, Sebastian to his new apartment in Sidney. Kurt, Burt, Carole and Finn had all come to celebrate for both boys who would always be a part of their family for better or for worse. They'd driven John up so he could drive back to Lima with Blaine. Much of the party was spent with Blaine at the piano, filling the house of ragtag kids and adults with music. Blaine, Kurt, Tyler, Sebastian and Finn all sang their hearts out, the others joining in every once in a while.

"Speech, Speech!" Rebecca shouted in the midst of all the music, laughter, and fun.

Blaine turned around on the piano bench and looked up at Sebastian, who looked down with a scowl and shrugged. So Blaine stood up, slipping his hands into his back pockets shyly, until he met Kurt's gleaming eyes and smiled.

He gave the room a small wave and joked, "Hi everyone, my name is Blaine and…" Everyone laughed and he joined in, blushing slightly, but growing serious as he took in the crowd who was there for him and Sebastian. "I came to Sidney House 6 months ago, alone and afraid. I felt like I was completely without a family. But now…" Blaine looked around at everyone; the Hudmels, his Dad, and the kids and staff at Sidney House. So much love in one room could be overwhelming for someone who thought he'd never really have love at all, but it was the most beautiful thing that Blaine had ever experienced. "Now I have three families."

His eyes rested on his beautiful boyfriend. "Kurt, I love you. You were my voice when I didn't have one. Without you I wouldn't have any of this. My family would still be in pain, hurting each other because it was easier than admitting how much we each hurt inside. But look at us now," he said proudly. His gaze fell to his father. "Dad, we're gonna do this. It won't always be easy, but we know where to go and what to do now when it gets hard."

Blaine had tried to choke back the tears forming in his eyes, but he couldn't as he glanced at the man who had gotten them to this place. "Xavien, I wouldn't be standing here today, like this, if it weren't for you. And for James. And if it weren't for each and every one of you here at Sidney." He turned to Sebastian. His friend's eyes were hard and distant, keeping out the pain in his heart that Blaine had all of this and he had nothing. But Blaine knew that what he was telling himself wasn't true at all. He took Sebastian's hand and squeezed it until Seb came back to the present and stared down at Blaine. "Happy Birthday Seb. Take a look around, because everyone here loves and cares about you as much as they do me. And I love you Sebastian. Kurt always asks what on earth I see in you." Blaine chuckled and the rest of the room did with him. Sebastian glared at Kurt playfully and Kurt gave a coy shrug back. "Well, you taught me that no matter what I had to survive I could do it, because after everything you had been through, you were still standing. When I needed a light at the end of the tunnel Seb, you were it because you'd already come out the other side. And whether you meant to or not you forced me to face my demons. And you taught me how to have fun again," he finished with a laugh.

Sebastian finally laughed. "Well can I get a hallelujah for that!" he shouted.

The room erupted in cheers and Blaine rushed back around to the piano to play Happy Birthday for Sebastian. The party went on and Blaine and the staff started bringing down his and Sebastian's things to pack into the car. Blaine had said almost everything he needed to say in his speech, but he purposely left one person out. Some things were better kept private. He found Nicholas hiding away in the hallway near the therapy room and Blaine slid up next to him.

"You keep trying with your Dad," Blaine told Nicholas, nudging his shoulder playfully. "Remember what your social worker said. There's still plenty of time to go back home if things change, the trial's not for another year. And in the meantime, they'll try to find a family for you when you're ready."

"I'll miss you." Nicholas looked up, tears in his eyes. He wasn't sure he believed there was family out there for him. Blaine was really the only one that felt like family now.

"I'll miss you too bud, but I'll see you soon at Kurt's for Easter, right?" Blaine said. He was trying to stay cheerful, though it was truly the hardest goodbye.

"I wish I could stay over at your house that weekend," Nicholas frowned.

They'd been over it before. They'd even tried to ask, but it hadn't been approved. "I wish you could too, but your social worker's just looking out for you," he answered with regret.

"Blaine, you ready?" his father called, all of his and Sebastian's bags packed into the car.

Blaine peered down at Nicholas who threw himself into Blaine's arms. "You know how to reach me, okay little brother?" He felt Nicholas nod against his chest, and Blaine brushed away his own tears before they could be seen. He gently pushed the boy back. "Okay. Time for me to go," he said with a brave smile.

"I love you," Nicholas cried, his voice barely above a whisper.

Blaine bent down and whispered in Nicholas' ear. "Can I tell you a secret?" Nicholas nodded, trying to wipe away his tears. "I love you too," Blaine said with a smile and kissed Nicholas on the cheek. "I'll see you soon, I promise."

Blaine took a deep breath and found Kurt, grasping his hand tightly. "This is harder than I thought it would be," Blaine said quietly and Kurt gave him an encouraging squeeze.

"Everything is going to be fine," Kurt assured him. "Now go get Seb so we can get you home."

Sebastian was having an easier time with goodbyes, or at least that's what he wanted everyone to believe. He'd lived at Sidney House for roughly 2 years, but it had never truly felt like home to him. Nowhere did. Now he finally had a chance to make a home of his own and he was looking forward to it greatly. "Let's get the hell outta here," he chimed as he nearly bounced over to Blaine's side.

They caravanned over to Sebastian's new apartment and helped him unpack before leaving him and Cass alone.

"To christen the place," Kurt mumbled with a roll of his eyes to Blaine. Blaine wagged his eyebrows at Kurt suggestively. Kurt held back every instinct to swat his arm in reprimand. "God, you are incorrigible," he said with a chuckle instead.

They decided that Kurt would ride with Blaine while their parents drove together. Blaine turned the radio up high and together they sang along, happy and content and feeling safe for the first time in a long time. He'd still be a ward of the state for another three months at least while they monitored the situation at home. But he was going home. And that was all that mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go!


	21. Promises Kept

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here it is, the final chapter. Announcements at the end. I hope you enjoy!

Three months later, Blaine and his Dad went to court with James to dismiss the State's custody and return it to his father, who had gotten sole custody in probate court. Blaine didn't need to go and John tried to get him to go to school just like it was a normal day, but it wasn't a normal day in Blaine's mind, this was important and he insisted. And John had been learning not to argue with Blaine about the things he thought were important.

Like having a relationship with his mother.

John hadn't wanted him to be disappointed and though she said she was clean and doing well in Indiana, he didn't know how to trust her. But Blaine insisted on contacting her. They started with phone calls and texting and moved on to Skype calls. They would talk for hours about books Blaine had read for class or just on his own. He'd found a new interest in Medieval Poetry and when he wrote his English term paper on Chaucer, they were on the phone for hours as he typed and she helped him through his analysis. John had to admit she looked well and sounded well and she'd gotten an adjunct professorship at Ball State University in Muncie. Blaine had been right to keep trying with her and John took a step in learning how to accept what was hard for him but important to Blaine.

Like his relationship with Kurt.

In the beginning things had been going so well. John had insisted on spending Blaine's first week home together, just the two of them learning to live with one another again 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Blaine hadn't been thrilled that he'd only see Kurt at school. But he understood and accepted where his dad was coming from. At the end of the week John invited Kurt over to dinner to discuss his rules and expectations. After that the boys were allowed to start seeing each other again outside of school with the understanding that they were to "behave respectfully" in the Anderson home. They both knew what that meant and Blaine couldn't help but think it was an act of judgment rather than respect until Kurt reminded him the rules were the same at Burt's. It still felt different to Blaine though and Kurt understood his trepidation and defensiveness. Burt had always accepted them. Mr. Anderson was just starting to. It would take time to trust but they would follow the rules and behave in the home.

So they kissed whenever home, keeping hands above the waist and clothes tightly in place when they both desperately wanted them off. They took stolen moments in the car or in the auditorium at school or in the back of the movie theater whenever they had a chance. And they counted down the days to Prom. Many months ago they'd promised to wait until Blaine went home and had done the work he needed to do, but they both very much felt it was time to stop waiting. They were ready.

Prom was only a week after court and if all went well then the only person Blaine would have to answer to about after prom plans would be his father. He knew it would be a tall order, but if he could convince his dad that he and his friends were all staying together in the hotel after the dance then he stood a chance.

John told him no. But his mother said yes and somehow eventually managed to convince his father that Blaine had earned the night. After all, she told him, if they were expecting Blaine to trust them then it was only right that they trusted Blaine too. As much as he hated it, John admitted she had a point and the next day after school he found his son curled up on the couch doing homework.

"So your Mom and I talked, and we agreed that you can stay with your friends at the hotel after prom," he told him.

Blaine looked up, excitement and disbelief dancing in his eyes. "Really?!"

"Really Blaine," John nodded. "But you and Kurt stay with your friends, no alone time, and no funny business."

"I promise," Blaine told him with absolutely every intention of breaking every rule. His father owed him a few broken promises after all he reasoned.

"One more thing," John said and Blaine's heart clenched waiting for the shoe to drop. He knew it had been too good to be true, there was no way his father was going to take any chances that he and Kurt would have time together. He was probably going to have Burt chaperone or have James check in or stop by the hotel himself to make sure they weren't doing anything a normal teenager would do. He probably would… "Your mother and I think it would be a good idea for you to go visit her over the summer," John continued.

Blaine startled, not quite sure what this had to do with Kurt and prom, but the idea wasn't a bad one. "Yeah sure," he answered suspiciously. "It would be nice to go see her for a week or so."

"No, Blaine, we were thinking maybe for a month. Or even longer if you wanted," he explained.

Blaine sat silently, the words not coming right away as suddenly it made sense. A month without Kurt. That was their plan. Give him an inch and then take a mile. "No," he barked angrily.

His father reached a hand out to him but he stood from the couch and backed away. "It's all lies, isn't it? Pretending to be okay with me and Kurt, pretending to accept us. Giving us a last moment together at Prom and then sending me away so I can't see him all summer?" Blaine's voice was rising as he felt the betrayal deep within him.

"Blaine, that's not what your Mom and I were-"

"You're lying!" Blaine shouted, his heart pounding with remembrances of the past. "All you two do is lie and try to ruin my life!"

"Blaine, you're being ridiculous, settle down," John ordered through gritted teeth, frustrated that in that moment all their months of hard work seemed completely forgotten.

"I am  _not_ being ridiculous and I am  _not_  going to settle down," Blaine yelled. "Maybe I should have just stayed at Sidney House. Or gone to live with Burt!"

That was it. John had heard enough and his patience was gone. "Feel free to go back to either one of them, but you can kiss your Prom night goodbye if you do!" He leapt out of his seat angrily.

"Maybe I will!" Blaine said lamely, but he stormed across the room, grabbed his jacket and slammed out the door.

John stood there shaking, wondering what on earth had just happened as he listened to Blaine peel out of the driveway. He'd felt his control slipping from his fingers and he realized it was a good thing that Blaine had left when he did. Never once had it crossed his mind that spending time with his mother would seem to Blaine like he was keeping him from Kurt and that had never been his intention. Blaine's lack of trust in him hurt. He called James, his hands trembling as he sat with his head in his hands. When James answered he told him what happened. He wasn't ashamed to admit that he was relieved Blaine had left. It hadn't gotten physical, but he confessed he'd been close.

It wasn't hard at all for James to track Blaine down, he'd gone straight to Kurt's house. James got approval for Blaine to stay there for the weekend and he put a rush on the family reunification in-home services for Blaine and John. The first meeting would be Monday afternoon when Blaine returned home again.

As much as the argument had rattled them both, that was the beginning of things really starting to work out for Blaine and John. It was three months of hard work, building trust, yelling and tears, laughter and smiles, and the resolving of issues that weren't at all apparent until they were once again back under the same roof. Mixed together with visits from James, Blaine's counseling sessions and Xavien's aftercare services, it felt to Blaine and John that all they did with their free time was meet with providers and talk about their problems. But in the end it was worth it, because it had brought them to here.

They walked up the steps of the courthouse together and through the metal detectors. They quickly found James in the lobby talking with the OFC attorney. "Hey you two," James greeted with a smile. "Big day."

"I had to see it for myself," Blaine offered in explanation, apologetic but sure.

"No need to explain," James said with a warm smile. "I think it's important for you to be here. How have things been going?"

"Good," Blaine answered and it was nice to be able to say it honestly for once. "Kurt and I go to prom next week," he added with a blush.

"Mmhmm…" James hummed knowingly, more than glad that custody was returning to Dad prior to that event. "Be safe, be careful, be sober and please don't be stupid," he said.

"I plan to do all of those things," Blaine assured him. "I'm not messing up now."

"Anderson case!" called the bailiff at the door.

Blaine took a deep breath and looked up at James. "It's time," James said.

The last time Blaine had been here they'd been called to the side of Judge Lawrence's bench, but today they sat on the hard wooden bench in the gallery. Blaine nervously tapped his leg. This was it. She'd been on his side before, saved him from the hellhole of Woodland, he should have every faith that she would listen to him today. But the fear of the unknown, of stories he'd heard from other kids, still wracked him and his heart beat strongly in his chest.

"We're here for a pre-trial hearing for the Anderson case." The court clerk rattled off the docket number before announcing who was present in the courtroom and then the room went silent as the judge read James' report.

"OFC is looking to dismiss custody today?" she asked formally.

"Yes your honor," the OFC attorney answered.

"Things are going okay at home?" Judge Lawrence turned to James.

He stood and stepped forward, his date book in his hands as he addressed the court. "Yes, things have been going very well. Mom has moved to Indiana and appears to be remaining clean, she's provided clean screens for the past three months. She and Blaine have had contact over Skype. Dad has gone to Probate court for full underlying custody with visitation by Mom at his discretion. Blaine and John have engaged in services and have agreed to continue to do so as well as to stay involved with OFC on a voluntary basis until Blaine's 18th birthday. We've only had one concerning incident since Blaine's return home and over all the family handled it well," he informed the judge with a smile in Blaine and John's direction.

The judge turned to them and Blaine held his breath. "It's good to see you again Blaine," she smiled at him and he rose from the bench where he sat.

"Thank you Your Honor," he answered nervously.

"So things are better than the last time I saw you I hope?" Blaine smiled shyly and nodded. "It's been going well at home with your Dad?" she asked and Blaine got the sense that she truly wanted to know.

"Yes, Your Honor," he said and he looked over to his Dad. "He's been doing really well actually, and we've been mostly getting along. I feel like he understands me better and I understand him and we have new strategies to use when we start feeling like we're gonna argue."

"Mr. Anderson," the judge turned her gaze expectantly to John.

He stood up, looking fondly down at Blaine. "Blaine's right Your Honor, we've been working with the counselors and our family support worker and things are looking good. Blaine and I are both sober and sometimes we go to meetings together. We've come to learn that our biggest problem is that we're so much alike," he chuckled softly.

"So we all feel ready for Dad to have custody again?" she made sure with a glance to everyone.

James, Blaine and John all nodded. The OFC attorney turned to her. "Yes Your Honor," she answered formally. The family's attorneys agreed as well.

"Very well," the judge smiled. "Custody is hereby returned to the father. Congratulations you two, you've done remarkable work. It's always nice to have a happy ending."

John smiled at her and put his arm around Blaine, squeezing him close. Blaine couldn't help but smile as well. "Yes it is your honor," John said.

* * *

_So come on, get higher, loosen my lips_   
_Faith and desire and the swing of your hips_   
_Just pull me down hard and drown me in love._

Blaine looked around the ballroom, decorated extravagantly for Prom, completely content as he danced in Kurt's arms. The music hummed inside him in tune to the song in his heart, perfectly expressing to the world how he felt in the deepest recesses of his mind. This was it for him. This was love, and life and hope. This was the feeling of promises forever kept, unconditional love with accountability and responsibility but no fear. He closed his eyes, as he rested his head on the soft wool of Kurt's tuxedo.

"I love you so much," he whispered, clinging to him tightly so as to never let him go.

Kurt kissed his head and rested his own against it. "I love you too Blaine. When I was a child and I imagined myself at the Prince's Ball held tall only by the strength of the Prince's arms, I had absolutely no idea that someday that dream would come true."

Blaine smiled and raised his head, lifting his eyes to Kurt. Love shined between them and they kissed, soft and sure, brief but so full of love. Deeper kisses they would save for later. That and so much more.

As only someone who had spent a lifetime with heightened awareness could, Blaine felt eyes on him from across the room. He looked up, searching for the angry stare from someone offended by their affections. But instead his eyes rested on Sheila, standing in the corner looking uncomfortable in a prom dress that seemed like it was trying to be hers but just slightly missed the mark. The scowl on her face was permanent, but the hurt in her eyes was new. Usually she covered it much better than that.

"Do you mind if I share the next dance with someone else?" Blaine politely asked Kurt.

Kurt followed his eyes and smiled softly. He would love to keep Blaine all to himself the entire night, but Blaine's request was precisely everything he loved about his boyfriend. There was no way he would say no. "Of course," he breathed, giving him a kiss on the cheek before letting him go with a last squeeze of his hand.

Blaine lowered his eyes as he nonchalantly headed Sheila's way. He knew she was watching him but he also was certain she would run if she felt pursued. Instead he stopped briefly to greet a few friends, gave Rachel a kiss on the cheek and Finn a firm handshake. He twirled Mercedes around and grabbed Brittany away from Santana for a quick dip on the dance floor. All the while he kept an eye on Sheila who only seemed to shrink further away into the corner. Finally he sidled up beside her and leaned against the wall as well.

"This is a pretty good view of the dance floor," he offered his approval, avoiding her eyes, staring out at the crowd instead.

"It's a stupid dance," she growled fidgeting with the dress that was clearly unnerving for her. "I only came to get the hell out of the house and because my social worker insisted on me getting this stupid dress."

"Well you look beautiful in it," Blaine said, looking over at her as unassumingly as possible. "And since you're at this stupid dance anyway, would you care to, ya know, dance? Just so you can tell your worker you did?" He smirked as he held his hand out to her, his eyes amused and hopeful. "I know how nosy they can be."

"Yeah, fine, whatever," she sighed and rolled her eyes. But she took his hand and her soft touch betrayed her hard exterior.

Blaine led her out to the edge of the floor. He knew better than to try to take her for a spin amongst the serious couples at McKinley. She would never be comfortable in the center of things. Foster care always made a person feel on the outside looking in and while he'd needed to be welcomed into the circle, Sheila found safety on the edge.

"So I hear you went home," she said as they started to dance, Blaine guiding her with a practiced hand.

"Yeah," he shrugged. He underplayed it, not wanting to make things harder on her by seeming to brag. As tough as she pretended to be it was easy to tell that not being home killed her. "It isn't perfect, but it's been alright so far."

"You think you're gonna stay?" she asked. Many went home. And many bounced right back out again.

Blaine though nodded. "I turn 18 in about 6 months, so yeah, we can probably stick it out that long. Then I just have to finish high school and it will be off to college."

"It's too bad you didn't stay in," Sheila said. "Get a free college education out of having crap parents at least. State owes us that much, I figure."

"Well, Kurt and I are planning to go to New York, so not sure I would have gotten much anyway," Blaine responded. It was certainly something they'd all talked about, but he was pretty sure they'd made the right choice for him. "You going to college?"

Sheila shrugged. "I don't know. Not sure I'm really college material. Might just get a job, live on my own for a bit."

"Well I'm sure whatever you choose to do you're gonna do great," Blaine said with a smile. "You're a survivor Sheila. Never forget that."

The music shifted and Shelia let go. One dance had been enough. Blaine though took her hand and brought it to his lips, kissing gently. "It was a pleasure," he said, his eyes twinkling with chivalry. And for the first time in as long as she could remember, Sheila blushed before turning away and rushing back to her corner.

Blaine watched her go with a grin then felt a familiar hand on his shoulder. He turned and immediately fell into step in the arms of the boy he loved.

"You're amazing Blaine Anderson," Kurt said, beaming proudly down at his boyfriend.

"Any amazing I am is because of you," Blaine assured him as he rested his head back down on Kurt's shoulder. Tonight would be the best night of his life.

* * *

Cooper may have been 2,000 miles away in Los Angeles and a less than active participant in Blaine's life, but he was more than happy to help when it came to reserving Kurt and Blaine their own hotel room for Prom. The request came from a place of safety. Their friends had adjoining rooms two floors up, but they both knew it would be overflowing with alcohol, and soon enough, drunk friends. They had no intention of going anywhere near it, though it would be easy enough for the boys to be quickly summoned upstairs if Blaine's father just happened to call the room to check in. Their own room, they told Cooper, was the only way they could guarantee a sober after-prom party. If the privacy just so happened to afford them the chance to take their relationship to a new level, well it was just a bonus.

A bonus for which they were both very ready.

Blaine swiped the key in the door, unable to wipe the grin from his face no matter how suave he was trying to be. He took Kurt's hand and led him inside, taking in a breath at the sight of the room Cooper had secured them. A king-size bed with white duvet sat in the center of the room. Dark woods and warm lighting highlighted fabrics and paintings of deep red offering a romantic feel without being too ostentatious. But what  _was_ ostentatious, or maybe it was just obnoxious,  _or maybe it was just brilliant_ , Blaine thought with a blush, was the in-room whirlpool sitting not so innocently in the corner right next to the bed.

"I swear I didn't ask for that," Blaine stammered with embarrassment, as he laid their bags on the bed and turned to Kurt. Kurt though was grinning back and took Blaine's hand in his reassuringly.

"It's perfect," he promised and proved it with a kiss, soft and sweet and full of possibilities.

"Really?" Blaine asked, nervously excited.

Kurt nodded, his forehead leaning against Blaine's and his fingertips ghosting over Blaine's hip. "Really," Kurt said lowly. "I can't wait to be with you."

They kissed again, realizing that for once they were completely alone with all the time in the world. There would be no staff, no parents, no voyeurs to watch and scowl. There was no curfew they had to meet and no rules they had to follow other than the ones they set for themselves. It was a brief tease at freedom, but it was freedom none the less and they had every intention in the world of making the most of it.

"I had an incredible time tonight," Blaine whispered as they broke apart and he just rested in Kurt's arms.

"Night's not over," Kurt purred suggestively, sliding his hands beneath the lapel of Blaine's tuxedo jacket and slipping it off and onto the floor.

"You're amazing," Blaine whispered as he closed his eyes. "I never knew I could love someone so much and yet every day I fall in love with you even more. You are the love of my life Kurt." He opened his eyes to meet Kurt's but they fell instead on a box held out to him in Kurt's shaking hand. His breath caught in his throat. "What's that?" he choked.

Kurt looked at him, a tentative smile punctuated by a nervous bite to his lip. "Open it," he urged, his voice small but hopeful.

Blaine reached out, his hand seemingly moving in slow motion as he took it from Kurt and flipped open the lid. It was simple, a sterling silver ring with the word " _Promise_ " accented by two sparkling diamonds on either side. Blaine looked up, surprise and love in his eyes. "Kurt," he breathed.

"Gosh, I didn't think I'd be so nervous," Kurt laughed and Blaine smiled softly, at a loss for his own words. He held Kurt's gaze with warm amber eyes glowing. "Promises are so easy to make, but so difficult to keep," Kurt began. He took the ring from the box and pressed it into the palm of Blaine's hand, curling Blaine's fingers around the ring, and his own hand around Blaine's. "But this is my vow that I will keep my promises to you Blaine. There's a chain in the box for you to wear this ring around your neck, close to your heart. Because that is where my promises are kept, Blaine, not in my heart but in yours. If I break them I break your heart and that is something that I never, ever, want to do. Because I love you. You are the love of  _my_  life. And if you will someday have me then I promise that I will be yours forever."

Blaine blinked and swallowed, but tears escaped anyway and he wiped them away with the back of his hand, still holding the box. Kurt let his hand go and he reached inside the box, pulling out the chain. "Will you put it on me?" Blaine asked as he laughed through his tears.

"I would love to," Kurt said. He strung the ring on the chain, then wound it around Blaine's neck, latching it carefully. As soon as it was secure, his hands fell to Blaine's neck and Blaine surged forward, capturing Kurt's lips in his, pouring into the kiss every emotion that pulsed inside him; love, fear, unbelievable want, but most of all pure happiness. He swiftly rid Kurt of his tuxedo coat and it fell next to his own while he pulled Kurt's shirt free in a desperate need to feel Kurt's skin against his. "Too many clothes," he whispered as he ran his hands up the smooth lines of Kurt's back and began a beautiful assault on Kurt's neck. He began to undo Kurt's buttons, wanting more, needing more but they were interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Room service," a waiter called.

Blaine dropped his head with a dramatically reluctant sigh as Kurt giggled and went to get the door. He opened it to find a cart filled with sparkling cider, chocolate covered strawberries and elegant cookies. "Wow," Kurt said as he moved aside and let the waiter roll the cart in. He dug into his pocket for a small tip and gave it to the gentleman with a broad grin. "Thank you."

"Enjoy your evening, Sirs," the waiter responded and gracefully exited the room.

Kurt grinned back at Blaine who had a sly look on his face. "Your idea or Cooper's?" Kurt asked with a smirk.

"A little bit of both maybe," Blaine answered with a roguish smile.

"The sparkling cider is a nice touch," Kurt heartily approved.

"It reminded me to give you this," Blaine said and from behind his back he pulled out his own small box that he held out to Kurt.

Kurt stopped and put his hand on his hips. "Blaine," he protested quite insincerely, but he made no move to reach for it. Blaine rolled his eyes fondly and opened the box himself. Laying inside on a bed of cotton was a blue anodized aluminum AA token. Kurt looked up at Blaine. Blaine peered back shyly.

"6 months sober," he announced proudly. "I couldn't have done it without you Kurt. I want you to have it," Blaine urged.

But Kurt shook his head. "No Blaine. I love it and I'm so proud of you, but you worked hard for that. You earned it. It's yours." He picked it up to hand it to Blaine, but his hand froze when he saw what lay nestled in the cotton beneath the chip; a titanium ring, edged in black, the word " _forever"_  etched in script, accented by a small heart.

"And that is yours," Blaine said, his voice hushed as a hopeful smile peeked out from his lips. Kurt stared up at him in disbelief. "Kurt, you saved my life. Without you I would have grown up to be someone I hated. But your love has changed me. Your love that was so strong you risked it all to keep me safe, to keep you safe. Your courage inspires me every day." He took Kurt's hand and the 6-month chip in his and he felt Kurt trembling. He smiled, eyes shining as one tear trickled down Kurt's cheek. "Because of this," he squeezed the chip in their hands, "I believe that I can give you this," he glanced back down at the ring and back up at Kurt. "This is my promise of forever. I will love only you. I will be with only you. This is for the boy who changed my life and for the man who will  _be_  my life forever. If you'll let me," he finished hopefully.

Kurt swallowed and wiped away the incredibly happy tears that would not stop falling. "I believe I've already made that promise," he smiled wetly.

"Then it's a good thing for me that you keep your promises," he said. He slipped the ring on Kurt's finger then wrapped his arms around Kurt's neck, kissing him with the promise of tonight and of forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank each and every one of you who have read this story and gone through this journey with me. I hope it meant as much to you as it did me.
> 
> I need to thank my amazing beta, MuseInMe3 for all she has done for me. And I need to thank the original prompter of this story wherever you might be! And of course I need to thank all my inspirations out there. I love you.


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